High school relationship rekindle

[Anonymous]

Last year I posted about my Fiancé cheating on me with both me and women getting bjs. I have since left him. We are still figuring out custody etc. I let him keep the apartment even though he only pays 900 for it and it's worth way more now (we are in CA). It will be hard for me to get an apartment myself, I am at my dads for now. I am 25 years old, he is 24. We worked out that I will have the kids(3 year old and 8 month old) 4 days a week. I'll be graduating with my BS this May. I have been told I am very attractive: decently fit for someone who has had 2 kids, big boobs, pretty face. But the 2 kids at age 25 certainly puts me down in the dating market I would think.
Anyway, I have been talking to my highschool best friend. He has always been in love with me, but I always wanted to meet new guys, travel, etc. We have never kissed or anything, just flirted. He is in minnesota, my hometown. Things have gotten more serious lately, he wants to come to california this march. I wouldnt have him meet my kids or anything, but I feel since I have been cheated on for 6 years, I deserve a break and chance at love. He has also gotten very attractive over the past 6 years. He does not have a degree, he works at a factory making decent money. All my friends from highschool love that I'm talking to him and really think he is a genuine guy. He has been in a 2.5 year relationship before and was cheated on. He said she never gave him a real reason why they broke up. Anyway, he is such a nice guy. We have started to say "I love you" and talk about him moving here and getting married and having a child by the time we are in our 30s. I told him last night I'm not sure if I want to be official until he actually gets here and we kiss etc. He said theres no rush, but I could tell he was disappointed. I am just not sure if I need to slow down or what. I really really like him, I talk to him on video chat for hours while my kids are with their dad.
Sorry for the Novel. Any comments welcome.

[Anonymous]

just take it easy, slow, enjoy, may be "yes" and may be "know", you need to spend time together before you know know

[Anonymous]

I think you need to slow it way down. You have a lot on your plate. Why rush into this? You aren’t even in the same geographical area yet talking about marriage? It’s too fast, too much upheaval. Yes you deserve to be happy but your kids need to come first. Figure out your living situation and graduate from college. Make a stable home for your kids first and foremost. Then worry about dating/marriage!

[Anonymous]

You haven’t kissed him... and he’s talking about marriage? I know he seems like a great guy and maybe he is, but pushing to get serious so quickly can be a red flag of control issues. Be careful.

[Anonymous]

Your post reeks of pathetic desperation. It won't end well.

[Anonymous]

“It will be hard for me to get an apartment by myself.’”
Yes it will. But not as hard as getting an apartment with a guy who turns out not to be right for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“It will be hard for me to get an apartment by myself.’”
Yes it will. But not as hard as getting an apartment with a guy who turns out not to be right for you.

A thousand times this.

[Anonymous]

Do a year of therapy.

Therapy for you individually.

Therapy for you and kids.

Therapy for you and Mr. Wonderful.

Don’t make any plans until Dec 2020. A lot can happen in that time. Including realizing that you have a lot more to offer or to lose than he does.

[Anonymous]

What factory will he work in in California? Or will you be supporting him and your kids?

[Anonymous]

Been through something similar. It all worked out. From separation from cheating husband, to marriage to high school relationship rekindle - 4 years. We lived in different countries. The long distance relationship actually works out well in the start, as you spend a great deal of time talking about well....everything.

[Anonymous]

This fiction is poorly written.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This fiction is poorly written.

Lol, I swear this is my life. I need a reality tv show following me around because so much crazy shit has happened the past few years.

[Anonymous]

I've been the guy in this situation. I'd just caution you against getting too into it from a distance. Things take a drastic turn once it shifts from long distance to a traditional relationship, especially if kids are involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do a year of therapy.

Therapy for you individually.

Therapy for you and kids.

Therapy for you and Mr. Wonderful.

Don’t make any plans until Dec 2020. A lot can happen in that time. Including realizing that you have a lot more to offer or to lose than he does.

I am in therapy. My kids are almost 3 and 8 months so I don't think they need therapy yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do a year of therapy.

Therapy for you individually.

Therapy for you and kids.

Therapy for you and Mr. Wonderful.

Don’t make any plans until Dec 2020. A lot can happen in that time. Including realizing that you have a lot more to offer or to lose than he does.

I am in therapy. My kids are almost 3 and 8 months so I don't think they need therapy yet.

Try to keep it that way.

What does your therapist think about this new relationship? Have you described the intensity and your plans?