Has your elderly mother become a trouble maker/drama starter

[Anonymous]

She used to be drama avoidant with just the occasional flare up with stress. Now she seems to attempt to stir the pot for no reason. I see through it and back away, but my siblings get sucked into it and even though I point it out they cannot seem to grasp she changed. I wonder if this is an early sign of dementia. She had a checkup 6 months ago and no red flags for other issues came up.

[Anonymous]

It depends what happened at the check-up, but even it included a thorough screening for dementia, close family members often notice something is amiss well before it shows on a screening.

You might want to go with her next time and verbally relay your factual observations.

[Anonymous]

Is she bored or feeling like no one needs her. Perhaps she is causing drama because people call and visit her more to talk about the issue. It's manipulative.

Otherwise yes there may be some cognitive decline.

[Anonymous]

She may have always had this tendency. Some personality traits can worsen with age.

[Anonymous]

No, mine was always like this. Just got worse.

[Anonymous]

The filters we have that prevents us all from doing this tend to fade as we age. My mom is in the same place, it's as if she doesn't think before she speaks and frequently blurts out things that are completely inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Mine has always done this but now she does it more often. I think its for attention.

[Anonymous]

Why are ANY mood changes for people 50+ automatically considered dementia?

It could be so many things that cause a person's mood to change. If you took away the age factor and identified the same issues for a person who is younger, no one would immediately say, "Dementia!"

One thing that definitely does change with age is the lack of tolerance for B.S. Maybe OPs mother has reached the stage where she is going to call it like she sees it and be honest instead of trying to make nice.

[Anonymous]

My mom spends a lot of time dwelling on things, which results in her finding issues and starting drama. I really think she just needs more in her life to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are ANY mood changes for people 50+ automatically considered dementia?

It could be so many things that cause a person's mood to change. If you took away the age factor and identified the same issues for a person who is younger, no one would immediately say, "Dementia!"

One thing that definitely does change with age is the lack of tolerance for B.S. Maybe OPs mother has reached the stage where she is going to call it like she sees it and be honest instead of trying to make nice.

Nobody wants to deal with rude people who say hurtful things which is why we have a filter. I know plenty of older people who still have their filter.

If an older person is unhappy it isn't acceptable that they have decided to be so honest they are rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom spends a lot of time dwelling on things, which results in her finding issues and starting drama. I really think she just needs more in her life to think about.

^^This. Many elderly people are in this situation. When a person gets to the stage of limited mobility, physical health issues, death of friends/peers, and adult children/grandchildren who are busy with their own lives, sometimes all they can do is sit and ruminate over little things. It doesn't mean they are demented; it means they are lonely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she bored or feeling like no one needs her. Perhaps she is causing drama because people call and visit her more to talk about the issue. It's manipulative.

Otherwise yes there may be some cognitive decline.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom spends a lot of time dwelling on things, which results in her finding issues and starting drama. I really think she just needs more in her life to think about.

^^This. Many elderly people are in this situation. When a person gets to the stage of limited mobility, physical health issues, death of friends/peers, and adult children/grandchildren who are busy with their own lives, sometimes all they can do is sit and ruminate over little things. It doesn't mean they are demented; it means they are lonely.

Yes. They need to have a social life that keeps them busy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are ANY mood changes for people 50+ automatically considered dementia?

It could be so many things that cause a person's mood to change. If you took away the age factor and identified the same issues for a person who is younger, no one would immediately say, "Dementia!"

One thing that definitely does change with age is the lack of tolerance for B.S. Maybe OPs mother has reached the stage where she is going to call it like she sees it and be honest instead of trying to make nice.

I’m 58. Mine is blamed on everything when I’ve said over and over again that I want to do more for myself, instead of stay home and take care of household sh*t so my husband’s life can be easy. When I say ‘it’s my turn’, it’s immediately turned into ‘selfishness’.

So yes, mother might be feeling lots of things rather than dementia. Mine is having no real mood shifts, but is forgetting to pay bills, doesn’t understand money like she used to, and tends to screw up in the kitchen. THOSE are signs of aging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she bored or feeling like no one needs her. Perhaps she is causing drama because people call and visit her more to talk about the issue. It's manipulative.

Otherwise yes there may be some cognitive decline.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

NP.

This is the case with mine. I actually had to hang up on her today because she kept yelling at me.

What do you guys do to deal with this behavior? She has driven everyone away except my dad and me (and I'm on the brink). Mine is 72.