What do I do?

[Anonymous]

I’m married with 2 kids. My husband and I have had a bland to rocky relationship for about 10 of the 14 years we’ve been together. I have been attacked to women for about 9 of those years. My attraction towards women has actually gotten stronger. I’ve heard that the gay community does not take kindly to bi women so the thought of me destroying my kids family for nothing if I can’t date women makes me stay. I’m not so sure that’s enough reason to stay anymore.

I was at a event where a woman walked around all of the event stuff to come over and talked to me... I completely froze up and gave her the cold shoulder. Sigh. I can’t get her out of my head. I am also worried that if she picked up on me from across the way that my straight friends will also figure me out.

What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Attracted. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Your poor husband and kids. Please give them my best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your poor husband and kids. Please give them my best.

Not sure this was helpful or advice really.

[Anonymous]

I used to be married to a man. Now I date women. I will say that the sex is 100000% better with women. More passionate and more variety. But women are very difficult to date. I often end up in not very healthy relationships. But aside from being attracted to women, if you’re not happy with your husband cut him loose.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand.

If you are bi but in love with your husband you stay with him and being bi sorta doesn’t matter. If you aren’t in love with him and want to leave him it will obviously ruin your family but that has nothing to do with you being bi.

If you are a lesbian then you have tough decisions ahead of you but leaving your husband is likely a must.

People don’t become attracted to a different gender mid life. They always were. You could use some therapy to help you sort this out.

[Anonymous]

There are many realized-late-in-life lesbians and they are definitely accepted by the community. But are you saying you identify as bisexual, as in you are still interested in men? That makes the issue a bit different. Either way hope you find the right path.

[Anonymous]

OP are you still attracted to your husband?

[Anonymous]

If you are unhappy in your marriage and want to leave, then that’s something you should consider regardless of your sexual orientation.

FWIW, I am 41, 2 kids, and am leaving my marriage after figuring out that I am gay. It hasn’t been a cake walk, and it took a lot of dating to find a woman I am compatible with, who is ok with my situation, and where there is mutual chemistry. But it is doable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP are you still attracted to your husband?

OP here. No I’m not and I’m not sure I ever was. He’s a great guy and father. We parent well together and for the most part get along.

[Anonymous]

I consider5 myself bi, I thought i was straight until i was 36 and had a brief relationship with a woman. I am now married to a woman and although I miss sex with me sometimes, it is what it is. I am married.

It has not been hard to be accepted by gay friends.

You have 2 separate issues, a marriage you possibly want out of, and an unknown sexuality. The grass is not greener on the other side and if you like your husband and enjoy times together and have respect for each other I would work on my marriage.