I have a 6 and 3yr old and for many reasons, right now is just not the best time to add another family member. I am going back to school and won’t finish until 2022. I would love to have another one eventually. Is waiting 5-7 years a terrible idea?! I’m 31 FIW. |
Of course it’s not a horrible idea. My best friend is my sister and she’s 5 years older than me. |
Not great at math, are you? ![]() |
Not the PP... But why? How did your response contribute anything to this thread? |
It’s not a horrible idea. There’s no rule about how kids need to be spaced. My husband is 2 years older than his brother and 9 years older than his sister. If this is really what you want to do though, you have to be okay with the idea of your fertility declining a bit, although you may not have an issue. |
Freeze eggs or better yet, embryos if you can afford it. |
I knew i wanted to be a mom at 40, after my house etc were all paid off. I submitted my paperwork when i was 39 and had my child in my arms at 40. Today she is 13 and we are 2 peas in a pod.
Of course it is a wonderful idea to have a child "later in life!" |
Fertility plummets in your 30s, and the odds of birth defects or certain disorders such as autism, increase. Be prepared for a longer process, technology-assisted or adoptive. If you get pregnant quickly, then it'll be a nice surprise! |
I had mine at 36 and 38 (conceived naturally). While I don't consider these ages to be "later in life" just assume that you will not be as fertile as you were in your 20s. You may consider that you will be in a different life and parenting phase in 5-7 years with your kids in late elementary/middle school. You may find that adding a newborn to your family comes with a whole new set of challenges than it did when the first two were younger. |
Please. She’s going to be 36 or 38 when she has her next kid. Freezing embryos/eggs would be a huge waste of money and time. |
In 7 years your kids are going to be 13 and 10. It’s not as much about your age as it is about starting over again with a newborn. I can’t imagine going back to diapers when my kids are in middle school. Right now your kids are still little, so it’s hard to put into perspective just how different it will be. That’s also a very big chunk of your life that you’re dealing with the baby stage... Again, this depends on the person, but I personally, was very happy once my kids were out of diapers and we weren’t slaves to naps. Just think it through.
Of course you CAN.... Do you WANT to? And don’t kid yourself, your career will take a hit when you have a baby. You finish school in 2 years, so that means between 2 - 4 years working before you get pregnant. That’s not enough time to work your way up to the type of flexible schedule/high pay that many older moms can negotiate. |
Ugh.. no, your kid will have penguin feet! ![]() |
I had my second at 40. We didn't plan to wait so long as we had fertility issues, but it's great. In every way. |
OP, if you know you're not going to have another kid right now, then that's all that's important.
You don't have to make a decision about a future kid until the time is right. |
This. My sister always planned to have another baby (her husband died when her baby was 3 months old) with her new husband (who she met when nephew was 4). By the time they were married and in a situation to have more kids nephew was 8 and sister decided she didn't want to go through the baby stage all over again. Thankfully her husband was totally neutral |