Is 2.5 yrs an ok age gap for playing together? (2 girls)

[Anonymous]

Hi,

I guess there is no point to this post because my girls are already born and it's not like I can change anything now (nor would I). But we just got back from visiting cousins over Thanksgiving and one thing about the dynamic made me a little concerned.

I have a 3 year old and a 7 month old, almost exactly 2.5 yrs apart.

They have a 4 year old cousin (boy, almost the same age as my oldest), a 6 year old cousin (boy, 3 yrs older than my oldest) and an 8 year old cousin (girl, 5 years older than my oldest).

My 3 yo loved to play with the 4 year old because they liked the same things and communicated similarly. They argued a few times but still generally interacted and played well together. The 8 year old was also great with her, but more in a "motherly" kind of way - she found fun toys for her, helped her figure out a puzzle, and generally took care of her.

The 6 yo boy wanted nothing to do with her. She was too little to enjoy the same things as him, but the gap was too close for him to feel any sort of "older kid" protectiveness over her. If anything, he acted like she was a huge nuisance and acted embarrassed if she wanted to play with him. A few times he told her she was a baby and made her cry.

I don't really care about the 6 yo's behavior, he's a good kid and I think it was totally normal 6 year old stuff. But it made me sad because I realized that that is almost exactly the gap my kids have. Is it a bad age gap? Are they going to be too far apart to enjoy the same things, but too close in age for my oldest to feel protective over the little one? Maybe because they are both girls the dynamic will be different, or maybe because they will grow up together? The 6 year old is an only child so he's not used to having siblings around.

Anyway like I said, no real point to this post I just got a little sad over Thanksgiving when it seemed like a closer or a bigger age gap would be better, and that we are right in the "worst of both worlds" spot in the middle.

[Anonymous]

I think it is too early to worry about this. You have two girls so it is very likely that they will play together and enjoy the same things.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 27 months apart, a boy and a girl. They are 3 and 5 and have an ABSOLUTE BLAST together. Sometimes the older one needs a little space, but now she's figured out she can pretty much get him to do whatever she wants, she is in heaven haha. He just loves her attention.

I think this is much more personality dependent than sex/age difference dependent. So while mine get along super well and have so much fun together, I'm sure there are plenty of 3 and 5 year old fighting with way more intensity.

[Anonymous]

My older two boys are 2.5 years apart. They play a lot.

My middle guy (the younger boy) just is kind of a beast doing everything he possibly can to keep up with the older one.

[Anonymous]

We have two girls who are almost exactly 2.5 years apart. They are 7.5 and 5 now and do great together. The older one reads to the younger one, they draw together, they pretend play, etc... They also have separate interests, which we try to encourage and develop.

[Anonymous]

My girls are almost 3 years apart. As toddlers and elementary schoolers, they played together all the time. Now that they’re teens, they are very different and have no use for one another. It’s all about personality...their gender and age have very little to do with how their relationship had developed.

[Anonymous]

I think the dynamics between siblings and cousins change a lot of over time - don't get too hung up on what is happening now. 3 or 4 years is a lot when it's 1 to 5. It's not so much now when it's 8 and 12.

My kids have cousins that range from 11-17 right now. They all get along in various degrees and combinations -mostly due to personality. In fact, two of the closest are the youngest (a girl) and the oldest (a boy) that are obviously 6 years apart. But sometimes its a different combination.

[Anonymous]

Yes, the gap is fine for being playmates. Kindergarten age kids sometimes go through a phase where they are "too big" to play with kids not in school yet.

[Anonymous]

I think it will be fine. First, age gaps seem larger when they are younger. The gap seems larger between a 3.5 yo and a 6 yo, than between a 5.5 and 7 yo. Also, personality, gender and being used to being around other kids affects things.

Mine are 3.5 years apart, boy and girl, and I didn't think they'd play together at all (which made me sad because I wanted a smaller gap), but they do! They are now 9 and almost 6, I'd say it started when the younger was about 4?

[Anonymous]

My boys are 2.5 years and just now at 5 yo and 2.5 are they starting to play together well for slightly longer stretches.

They bicker plenty too.

It'll just depend on your kids!

[Anonymous]

My kids are three years apart and play together all the time. My brother and I are SIX years apart and he still played with me when I was little.

Your kids are too young to play together now, that's why you're freaking out. They'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

this is so dumb

[Anonymous]

My sister and I are exactly 2.5 years apart and we’re always best friends. We played together constantly. We chose to share a bedroom even though we had two empty bedrooms until we were in high school.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 5 years apart and play together. My kids in Montessori school have 3 ages in the classroom and they all play together at recess.

Release this concern.

[Anonymous]

Our 3 kids are all 2 years apart. 6, 4, 2. The two older play together very well...a times.... but the 2 year old is still a baby. But i’m confident she will play nicely with them.