Another Kid or Wait?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have a 1 year old son. I'm 37 and my husband is 39. I left a career I hated when we got married. I enrolled into nursing school and we planned our first pregnancy with my graduation. I have decided I want to do a two year program for my masters but I'm whether to wait and have a second child, or have a second child nearing the end at 39. We definitely want a second ( and last) child. I'm struggling because we want a second child, but I don't want to be getting my masters degree with two young children. I had hoped I would be done with schooling and have the ability to spend as much time with them. The last option to not get my masters. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Biology is the rule, and you are already 37, so you can't afford to wait if you want the second child. Treat your masters as a demanding job. Hire the childcare you need to make it happen, just like women who are in stressful and demanding jobs have to. Don't delay the child and don't push off the masters.

I think it's really admirable that you recognized you weren't happy in your career and went back to school later in life to do what you truly wanted. That's a beautiful lesson in willpower and resiliency that your children can learn from you.

[Anonymous]

I would enter the masters program now. Try to plan your pregnancy so that you give birth a couple of months after finishing your program. Start working when DC2 is around age 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Biology is the rule, and you are already 37, so you can't afford to wait if you want the second child. Treat your masters as a demanding job. Hire the childcare you need to make it happen, just like women who are in stressful and demanding jobs have to. Don't delay the child and don't push off the masters.

I think it's really admirable that you recognized you weren't happy in your career and went back to school later in life to do what you truly wanted. That's a beautiful lesson in willpower and resiliency that your children can learn from you.

Great advice

[Anonymous]

I think you need decide which worse case scenario would be harder for you: not finishing your masters or not having a second baby. Proceed from there.

As a pp said, with help and focus, you can do both. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Start your masters program. I was in the middle of a JD/PHD program when my DD was born. It was pretty perfect timing as university programs are more forgiving that the workforce in general.

Don’t not get your masters, OP. A masters in the medical fields is a powerful degree. Your children will benefit.

[Anonymous]

Why do you want a masters degree? Nursing is a great career.

[Anonymous]

You can always get a masters at 40, at 50, at 60, etc. You may not want to at that time, but it is possible. Your window to have a biological child is much narrower. If you want a kid, I wouldn’t wait.

The only exception would be if you resented your kid, or were unwilling to take on a high-needs kid. If you aren’t 100% on board with whoever shows up, then it’s a no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Biology is the rule, and you are already 37, so you can't afford to wait if you want the second child. Treat your masters as a demanding job. Hire the childcare you need to make it happen, just like women who are in stressful and demanding jobs have to. Don't delay the child and don't push off the masters.

I think it's really admirable that you recognized you weren't happy in your career and went back to school later in life to do what you truly wanted. That's a beautiful lesson in willpower and resiliency that your children can learn from you.

Great in theory but you have no clue bout OP’s reproductive heath. Women are conceiving into their early 40s. I am one of those women. OP, live your life. Do what feels right to YOU. What is important to YOU? Is finishing a master’s program most important or is it having baby #2? Prioritize accordingly. Good luck with both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biology is the rule, and you are already 37, so you can't afford to wait if you want the second child. Treat your masters as a demanding job. Hire the childcare you need to make it happen, just like women who are in stressful and demanding jobs have to. Don't delay the child and don't push off the masters.

I think it's really admirable that you recognized you weren't happy in your career and went back to school later in life to do what you truly wanted. That's a beautiful lesson in willpower and resiliency that your children can learn from you.

Great in theory but you have no clue bout OP’s reproductive heath. Women are conceiving into their early 40s. I am one of those women. OP, live your life. Do what feels right to YOU. What is important to YOU? Is finishing a master’s program most important or is it having baby #2? Prioritize accordingly. Good luck with both.

No one has a clue about her specific current reproductive health which is why we go by medical averages. OP already said what feels right to her - she wants a second. Given her age, she should prioritize that. If she runs into age related fertility issues, she will have more time by starting earlier, to get the outcome she wants.