feeling pressure...

[Anonymous]

I had a m/c at a little over 12 weeks in October. We have a DD, so I know that I can carry a healthy child. I had no problem getting pregnant either time (I know that makes me VERY lucky). I am really stressed out about getting pregnant again. There will already be a bigger gap than I had hoped between the children and I feel this crazy pressure that I NEED to get pregnant this month or else. I am also feeling very worried what happens when I get pregnant. My body is still pretty messed up after the m/c (I spotted for an additional 1 1/2 weeks after my period so I logically know that it might be harder to get pregnant this month, but I just can't let go of my feeling that I have to or else.

[Anonymous]

Easier said than done, but try not to worry so much! The odds are in your favor since you have already had a child. I would not worry about the age difference. Look around you and you will see pros and cons to each situation. Focus on the pros...your older child will LOVE having a little sibling that they can help take of and "show them the ropes". They WILL play with each other, even if the age difference is wide...they will just play differently. I love watching my niece, who is 8 years older than her next sibling and 11 year older than the youngest sibling play together. And she is a huge help to her mom! I see many pros to a wider age spread and once they are adults, it won't matter as much.

[Anonymous]

First, a loss after 12 weeks just sucks, so I'm sorry for that.

I've totally been in your shoes in terms of feeling pressure to get pregnant after a miscarriage and feeling pressure to try to control the age difference. All you can do is try to focus on the positive - like pp said, it is great that you already have a child and can get pregnant so easily. Or alternatively, you can just repeat to yourself that what will be, will be - because you really can't control it. I find that helps me relax the most - and at the point, I'm looking at at least a 4 year age difference if I ever get pregnant again.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Pretty devastated, because my period came and I found out two friends are pregnant and due when I should have been. Bummer. I guess we try again next month. It is just so hard not to be angry about my loss...