How to politely opt out of hosting Christmas?

[Anonymous]

Last year DH and I agreed to host our first Christmas. We went all out and a wonderful time was had by all. Maybe too wonderful, because here we are at Thanksgiving. Due to some medical issues, the usual host couldn’t, the matriarch host adamant she was done hosting for good, ILs a no-go for reasons of which we aren’t sure. So DH and I agreed to take it on this year, though on a much more casual and smaller scale. As we sit here, finally having a moments peace to reflect, we are struck with the thought, who will host Christmas this dear? All we know is, whew, NOT US!

We want to be prepared with the best way to make it clear that we aren’t the sole holiday host now, in the event Christmas is brought up. What would you say that’s to the point yet kind, and doesn’t leave an opening for negotiating?

[Anonymous]

I would honestly just take one for the team. Your elders are done and its time for you to step up. Last year went well and its probably time to make it "your" holiday. And if you did want to back out the night before thanksgiving is wayyy to late IMO. Be gracious, its your generations turn!

[Anonymous]

It’s not clear if you’re asking about this Christmas or next Christmas? Typos happen, but this is pretty incoherent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would honestly just take one for the team. Your elders are done and its time for you to step up. Last year went well and its probably time to make it "your" holiday. And if you did want to back out the night before thanksgiving is wayyy to late IMO. Be gracious, its your generations turn!

There are others in our generation, shouldn’t we be alternating? Anyway, we haven’t been asked or even discussed it yet, I’m just getting prepared in the event it’s mentioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not clear if you’re asking about this Christmas or next Christmas? Typos happen, but this is pretty incoherent.

I apologize. I meant this Christmas. It hasn’t been discussed by anyone in the family yet.

[Anonymous]

Say “No.”

[Anonymous]

Are you hosting thanksgiving? I don’t understand. When did everyone opt out? Because then you say it hasn’t been brought up at all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you hosting thanksgiving? I don’t understand. When did everyone opt out? Because then you say it hasn’t been brought up at all

They are hosting thanksgiving. Last year they hosted Christmas. They do not want to do Christmas this year. It’s very clear.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should bring it up over thanksgiving. Ask, “what do you guys want to do for Christmas? We’re all hosted out, but we’re happy to decide on a restaurant if no one else feels able.”

[Anonymous]

If someone implies you’ll host say “Oh Joe and I just aren’t up for hosting another dinner again so soon. I assumed someone else would take a turn.”

If you are up for it you can add that you’d be willing to do a casual dessert potluck or something but not a full dinner.

[Anonymous]

So nobody wants to host but everybody wants a get together?

[Anonymous]

Throw out restaurant ideas. If pressed, “We aren’t up for it so soon after hosting Thanksgiving.”

[Anonymous]

Why do people have to get together every holiday? Immediate family only for christmas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people have to get together every holiday? Immediate family only for christmas

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would honestly just take one for the team. Your elders are done and its time for you to step up. Last year went well and its probably time to make it "your" holiday. And if you did want to back out the night before thanksgiving is wayyy to late IMO. Be gracious, its your generations turn!

+1

Suck it up and host.