Order of protection- what are the basic steps?
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Anonymous
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I’m posting this here because although it involves a family member rather than a spouse/coparent, I think people here might have the most experience with this situation and hopefully have some practical advice. Can anyone explain to me the basic process of getting a protective order against someone? Do I go to the police station? Do I call the non-emergency police line first? Is there a way that you make an appointment with the police?
This isn’t a situation of violent threats or someone local, so I’m not in the kind of rush I would be for those situations and don’t want to just walk into the police station and waste their time if that’s not how this all works. It does involve repeated harassment and nonviolent threats by a family member. Most of it has occurred through mail, email, and by phone. What evidence should I expect to need to bring with me? Are screenshots ok or should I have some kind of printed file? I’m sorry for the dumb questions. We’re overwhelmed and kind of in shock that things escalated so quickly. Family member has been added to the no-admittance/no pick-up list at the kids’ school, but I’m not sure what else I can do without an actual restraining order. |
Anonymous
| If they are not local, no physical or violent threats, you aren't going to get a restraining order. Block all their calls, block from social media and ignore. |
Anonymous
| Thank you. We do not use social media and frequently change our phone numbers. This person uses burner phones and emails and various services to investigate our new numbers and bombard us with calls and emails from third-party services. To be more clear: they are now (as of today) sending us hazardous materials and medical waste in the mail. Although it is not violent, I’m fairly sure it is not legal, but I’d rather not hash that out in this forum and instead focus on the logistics: I’m just trying to figure out the mechanics of how I talk to the police about the situation. |
Anonymous
Call the post office its through the mail. Stop changing your number and ignore. |
Anonymous
Anonymous
| I got a 6 month protective order for someone in Florida. Take all your evidence (screen shots included) and the judge will go from there. Go straight to circuit court. |
Anonymous
| Go to your local police station and lay it all for them. Even if they can't do anything (which seems unlikely) the fact that you've made a report will help if things escalate and you need their intervention. I hope you find a way to keep your family safe. |
Anonymous
| I’m so sorry. I assume you’re the sisterfrom the earlier PP. this is a scary escalation. I would go to your local police station, too. I’m so sorry this is happening. |
Anonymous
| In MoCo, you can ask for free community mediation to handle phone, social media harassment. |
Anonymous
| I am that sister from earlier this week. Thank you all for your quick help. Family had told us we’re overreacting even after the latest incidents and my mom continues to say we should just “listen to what she [sister] has to say.” DH and I feel like we are going crazy. |
Anonymous
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I would print the stuff, they will scan it in. Otherwise they will take pictures of your phone.
Call the station and ask when would be a good time to come in and speak to someone. Definitely this is grounds for wanting some protection. Not sure how the officer will see it but go in, it becomes part of the record and shows you value your safety. Lots of why didnt I go in sooner questions when I went. I would write up a brief summary as far back as it goes, like 2-3 spaced brief pages April - june 2015 - over 200 emails sent August 2016 - changed number for the second time February 2018 - received package containing Etc. And get more specific in the recent events Express your fear and your feelings about all of this. It sounds difficult to live your life with this happening and stress that. There might be little they can do but this is serious and who knows what happens if you leave it. I have a 5 yr protection order and I go in everytime its breached. They can't arrest someone just for being mentally ill but again it paints a picture of what my life was like and sets some ground for if/when the person escalates. It's all very overwhelming so practice good self care and be easy on yourself. These are not dumb questions. At my kids school I send a letter with a picture of the person to relevant staff, one teacher asked for this and I thought it was great. Expect some escalation if they grant the protection. Hugs and I think it's great you are doing this for yourself and your family. I know it's hard, but no one deserves to live like that waiting for what's next. Let the police decide what's violent and careful not to downplay your experience and feelings (as is common in people who have experienced abuse). |
Anonymous
Actually, OP, you want the Postal Inspection Service rather than the postal IG. The inspection service is the law enforcement arm of USPS and handles cases like what you describe. OP, please contact the inspection service ASAP. Think of this: When she mails you medical waste and hazardous materials she is jeopardizing not only your family but also the many people in the chain of mail handling. Those packages are passing through many hands between hers and yours. And you said above that you are "fairly sure it's not legal." It is absolutely illegal and it's up to you to involve law enforcement. Are you reluctant to call law enforcement on her? I get a sense that maybe you have been balking at taking this farther (I read the other thread) but maybe the fact you're considering a restraining order now means you're prepared to involve law enforcement. Getting a restraining order surely would be easier if you can show there is an open investigation of a possible crime. I'd contact the inspection service first thing Friday morning. They will very likely be able to give some advice where to start in pursuing a restraining order. Please update us when you can. |
Anonymous
| OP, when you have time, update us. I read both your threads and am concerned by the recent uptick in the harassment you're experiencing. Hoping that you can get it to stop. |
Anonymous
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OP with a quick update and also thanks for thinking of us, especially because we’ve felt so weird and lonely dealing with this while everyone we know has been having happy family Thanksgivings.
There has been a pause in the harassment. Based on past patterns this either means that sister may be under the care of a doctor and/or in a hospital and things are improving, or they’re about to get much worse. DH and I are not going to be in contact with her, we have talked to officers at our precinct, and we are waiting for additional harassment of the type that would qualify us for a protective order in our jurisdiction. In the meantime we’re focused on documentation and ensuring kids safety. We’re telling very few people about this so I’m grateful for the non-judgemental, supportive advice here. |
Anonymous
| Make a police report. Everytime it happens, make another. This is not ok and the police can help you. They can also loop in the postal service if needed (mailing some things without proper labeling is a federal thing since it crosses state lines). |