How do everyone handle kids on weekends?

[Anonymous]

I have a 4 year old & a 10 months old. Both parents work full time, and both kids are dropped off at daycare M-F. M-F are manageable to us since they both go to bed at 8pm, and they both sleep through the night.
However on weekend, I & DH feel like we are both dying at the end of day taking care of them either at home/outside, and my 4 year old does not do afternoon nap at home (he naps at daycare). I think we do not exhaust him out to the point that he needs an afternoon nap. I wish there's Saturday or Sunday morning daycare/social playgroup for a few hours for my oldest in the MC area (I have looked around & I can't find any), so that we both can take a little break. We have been eating out/carry out on weekends because I am too tired to cook.

Kudos to daycare teachers! I cannot entertain kids full day with positive energy. The only time that it gives me break is that I turn on tv for hours for my oldest when baby is napping. At the same time, I feel a bit guilty everytime I do that. He can play on his own, but it does not last long, at most 30 mins. And baby is at the stage that want people to interact with him as well.

[Anonymous]

We have 3 kids: 7, 5 and 2. We try to do an outing in the morning of each weekend day, and we have a nice backyard where they can play. 5 and 7 year olds watch a movie during 2 year old's afternoon nap each day. That's our break. Otherwise, we are playing. Kids go to bed around 7:30, and the baby goes down at 6:30.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you're doing the best you can. Don't feel guilty about some screen time for you to get a moment to take a breath, or about eating out on weekends. Other than that, get out to museums, zoo and such to pass a couple hours at a time. Also, make sure you and DH are both getting a couple hours to yourselves during the weekend - get your nails done, go shopping by yourself, go to a coffee shop and read, etc. Sounds like you're both burnt out and need to tend to that.

[Anonymous]

A lot of 4 year olds don't nap. Mine didn't. You're tired bc 10 months is the last lap of the 1st year marathon, it's totally normal.

At that age, we did things together in the morning. Family outing like park, farmer's market, pumpkin patch, zoo . . . we often ate lunch out. Then one of us took the younger one and napped when they napped. The other took the older one and did things in the afternoon during the nap like grocery shopping, cooking (child would help), etc. The one with the younger one usually did one hour in the morning with both kids to let the other parent sleep in.

On Sundays the older one sometimes had an activity outside of the house that let the parent who took him rest for an hour or two. Look into things like gymnastics, language school, martial arts, etc. My older one at age 4-5 started being able to read and do arts/activities in room while baby napped for about 30-45 minutes -- long enough for us to sneak another parent nap in.

To be honest, I find the weekends longer now that both are older and on the go all the time. But I guess I'm less tired due to not having just been through the first year of infancy, so maybe it balances out! I know a lot of parents who split up more so both of them get half the day off. That's not us.

[Anonymous]

We have always taken turns. I'm a morning person, so I would get up with the kids and do something with them and turn them over to DH for afternoon/evening, or vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Preschool teacher here! I suggest you involve your older kid in helping around the house...matching socks while you fold the other clothes. Using a baby wipe to wipe the tub (from the inside) while you scrub the toilet and sink. Give him playdoh and talk to him while you’re cooking dinner. Take them to new playgrounds, explore nature centers, hike paths, and yes get down and play with them at home! Lie down and talk while they build blocks. Read to them and ask them questions about the book. They are probably craving your attention after being in daycare all week, but you don’t have to put on a show for them. Just being with them, talking, existing together is what they need from you. You do not need to entertain them 24/7 but it sounds like you do need more kid time stamina. You’re probably tired from the week, but they are too and need you to be home and engaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have always taken turns. I'm a morning person, so I would get up with the kids and do something with them and turn them over to DH for afternoon/evening, or vice versa.

Adding, we never split the kids. We felt that when you split the kids the adults never get time alone. But, each family has their own priority.

[Anonymous]

You need to split up. One person takes both kids for a few hours each morning (or whenever works for you).

And don't feel guilty about turning on the TV while the baby naps.

[Anonymous]

Tough ages. I remember being grateful going back to work on Mondays because the weekends were so exhausting -- and my job is no cakewalk either.

You and your DH should take turns one day -- he take them for the morning and gives you a break, you take them for afternoon and give him a break. The other day you can hang as a family.

Though maybe things will ease up soon, I found 5 was a turning point in being able to be more independent and playing without me.

[Anonymous]

I had a 2 year old when our twins were born. I nursed all three kids for a year or more and worked at a very stressful full-time job. By the time the weekend came around, I was absolutely spent. That lasted for more than 5 years.

One thing that saved my marriage was our agreement that every Saturday morning was mine. I would usually just stay in bed watching TV or maybe fall back to sleep for a morning nap, but knowing that I had that time when no one would interrupt me was a lifesaver.

I am one of those people who likes to be busy, so when my kids were younger, I often found it easier to take them out than to try to entertain them at home. I would do longer outings to the zoo, museums, etc. early to mid-morning by myself or with a friend to give my husband some time to himself. When we got back, I took a nap (and usually the kids did too). When I got up, we all had family time.

Also, can you switch off? When you have multiple children, even having one less feels so much easier. Who does grocery shopping? In our house, my husband does, and he always took at least one of the kids with him to shop on Sunday mornings.

Don't feel guilty about needing a break. Guilt is wasted energy. Also, let go of the idea that you need to entertain your kids all day long. You don't. They can play on their own.

You have every right to check out for some blocks of time on the weekend. If you and DH switch off to give each other those free blocks, you might feel less burned out.

[Anonymous]

Find an activity you (adults) enjoy and bring the kids along. The baby can ride in a carrier (or stroller) and the older one might be tired enough to play happily at home after a hike, museum, zoo, etc. Even just taking big one to the playground.
If you really want a playgroup, check out Free Forest School. They have meet-ups all over the DC area. But really, if the kids are in daycare all week, I’m sure they can use a couple of days without structured activity.
I was a SAH parent at those ages so had the kids all or most of the day every day. It got tiring, but it wasn’t hard to fill the time. Maybe it’s different if you are tired from working another job all week.

[Anonymous]

We get out of the house. Fresh air is key. Kids are 6 and 7.

Saturday:
We leave the house by 8am and go to the farmer's market. There's a playground near there, so we go to that after. Then brunch. Then one parent takes the kids home to chill out and then Quiet Time (read, draw or play as long as you stay on your bed), and the other parent does errands. While kids are napping Home Parent tidies if needed, laundry if needed, goes through mail, relaxes, etc. Errand Parent comes home, we unpack. Kids wake up, play outside. One of us takes the dog for a walk. DH preps dinner for the kids while I start getting ready. Babysitter comes, DH and I go out, babysitter puts kids to bed by 7:30pm.

Sunday:
Breakfast, playground, then museum or aquarium or a hike, then lunch, Quiet Time, then different thing outdoors. Sailing, friends house, creativity museum, etc. Then dinner for the kids. One of us herds them through bath, bed while the other makes dinner for us.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing wrong with letting the older kid watch a movie while the younger one is napping. I would make him st at least 30 mins by himself prior to this though to "earn it". We generally get up when our kids get up. I sshower while they get dressed which usually includes them playing in their rooms at the same time. After breakfast i walk the dogs. They either come and ride scooter or bike or can play at home while spouse does stuff around the house for an hour. Then we try and go do something as a family or with friends. We don't usually do TV during the day but if we have an early dinner, kids shower, then we have a movie night.

[Anonymous]

St should be play (above)

[Anonymous]

Do you have any structure on the weekends? Any sort of timeline? Kid classes lined up? A list of fun playgrounds nearby, holiday happenings, indoor kid places, etc?

For us, we are out of the house by 10am for sure. Depending on the weekend we do any of the aforementioned.

Also, divide & conquer with DH as needed.