Never married and my ex hasn’t spoken to my DD or me in years. FA question.

[Anonymous]

So my ex and I haven’t spoken in years. He also hasn’t spoken to our DD in years. He is married and has four young kids. I will ask him to fill out the FA forms for college for our 16 yr old daughter but I doubt he will. If he can’t call or text, I doubt he will take the time to fill out paperwork. He pays child support but has owed money for years. He never pays on time and rarely pays the full amount. I feel horribly that his indifference might limit our daughter’s choices. Is there anything I can do?

[Anonymous]

Does your high school have a guidance counselor? Financial aid is confusing and technically you are a single mother. Since he doesn’t meet child care support regularly find out if it would be better not to include him.

[Anonymous]

I had friends in this situation in college and as I recall there was something there mother could fill out with this information. I’m sure the process has changed but I’m sure there is a process.
One of my friends has a dad who was an accomplished surgeon—left his wife and three kids after he finished his residency and she put him through med school and residency. Married a younger wife a decade later and was having little babies when his first set of kids went off to college. Never paid child support. (That was right before they passed all the wage garnishment laws for child support.)

[Anonymous]

You can get a non-custodial waiver so his finances are waived.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don’t believe you need him for financial aid, and the child support isn’t the amount he should pay but the amount he actually does. You need some professional help to get your. Questions answered.

[Anonymous]

Most schools make you fill out an additional form about why they should not count/expect paternal support.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if/how it might pain the child to see public doCumentation that their dad is a deadbeat. But it is what it is.

Selfish, irresponsible men

[Anonymous]

I was concerned about this too OP. In my case, dad is around but basically gives me gas money on a monthly basis. Turns out, he doesn’t have to be included.

[Anonymous]

Private schools require the CSS form which requires the non custodial financial information. Public schools use the FAFSA form which does not require the non custodial income info. Unsure about the waiver mentioned above. CollegeConfidential financial aid forum would be a good place to start.

[Anonymous]

THanks everyone. She might apply to some private schools but we are hoping she has one or two public options. I’ll ask her school counselor and check regarding FAFSA and CSS. Yes, her dad very much wanted her until he saw something more interesting and left. Not exactly the first time in the world this has happened. His current wife is very religious and wants him to have nothing to do with our daughter. He told me this himself as did he sisters. Not sure how that reflects on me at all since I’m doing my job as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Some public universities like UVA also ask for the CSS profile. Federal funding is based on the FAFSA, but other needs based aid would factor on the noncustodial parent's financial information.

[Anonymous]

Geez there has to be some way they account for kids whose noncustodial parent is a complete jerk and won’t pay anything. It’s not all that uncommon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez there has to be some way they account for kids whose noncustodial parent is a complete jerk and won’t pay anything. It’s not all that uncommon!

They make it harder because a lot of people would try to abuse the system if they made it easy to say the noncustodial parent will not contribute to the student's college tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez there has to be some way they account for kids whose noncustodial parent is a complete jerk and won’t pay anything. It’s not all that uncommon!

I get your point, but let's face it, none of us WANT to pay for college tuition. If you married the deadbeat, the financial aid's office doesn't have to help you out. I don't mean to sound snarky, but it is not the college's problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geez there has to be some way they account for kids whose noncustodial parent is a complete jerk and won’t pay anything. It’s not all that uncommon!

I get your point, but let's face it, none of us WANT to pay for college tuition. If you married the deadbeat, the financial aid's office doesn't have to help you out. I don't mean to sound snarky, but it is not the college's problem.

But OP did not marry the deadbeat. Of course no financial aid office has to help anyone. But financial aid is usually based on HHI. It doesn’t matter if the income comes from 1 or 2 adults.