I need some perspective...

[Anonymous]

My 2 year old has been very clingy recently. He'll throw an absolute fit if his dad towels him off after a bath instead of me... that sort of thing. And when he sees me after getting home from school, he just sobs for a few minutes. He doesn't sob for my husband or our nanny... just me!

It's so hard for me to bear his screams and cries. It just actives my central nervous system and makes me anxious.

It was never like this for me with my older son.

Anyway, parents of older kids that were like this, when did this end? Is this a 2 yo thing? Or a personality thing?

[Anonymous]

DD was like this at two. No matter what, I never gave into her demands for me over her Dad or nanny which gave her a sense of security, I think. She knew she wasn’t in charge and everything was fine with Daddy or Nanny holding her or changing her (or any demand, really) and I wasn’t going anywhere. Giving in just makes it so much harder for the child. Because of it, the phase was just a couple months.

I have a friend who is still giving into her child’s demands and questioning the child ad nauseam about her feelings during a tantrum and the poor little girl is still miserable at four.

[Anonymous]

Oh, op, he has big emotions and he’s doing what a 2 year old does.

He misses you and that’s why he’s breaking down. It’s probably a phase since it’s just with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD was like this at two. No matter what, I never gave into her demands for me over her Dad or nanny which gave her a sense of security, I think. She knew she wasn’t in charge and everything was fine with Daddy or Nanny holding her or changing her (or any demand, really) and I wasn’t going anywhere. Giving in just makes it so much harder for the child. Because of it, the phase was just a couple months.

I have a friend who is still giving into her child’s demands and questioning the child ad nauseam about her feelings during a tantrum and the poor little girl is still miserable at four.

Once I've put my foot down, I do not give in. But, I have definitely started doing certain things to prevent the tantrums.

As an example, I will preemptively pop in the bathroom during bathtime and say: "I have a few min to dry you off if you're ready to get out."

But if he gets out and screams/whines for me, I don't rush in. Does that make sense?

[Anonymous]

I bet a big developmental leap is happening or coming. My DD's behavior always went off the rails before a big leap forward.

[Anonymous]

Developmental leap, molars, or sick. If he’s not usually clingy it is most likely one of those.

[Anonymous]

Could it be that his expectations are not aligned with what's about to happen? My kid screams if I say I'm going to brush his teeth instead of daddy right before I do it, but if I give him a 15 minute warning he's gets super excited to do it with me (Usually it's dad bc of my work schedule).

[Anonymous]

Keep doing what you are doing. This will pass. He needs you now,for whatever reason. Don't allow him to be physically hurtful, but he needs reassurance that you are there. Acknowledge his feelings as much as you can--label them, get him to label them.

[Anonymous]

One of our twins was like that somewhat. She is a little more introverted and she used to cry and hang on me when we got home. I was usually trying to start dinner, but I finally realized she needed some attention when we first got home. So we would sit down and snuggle for a couple minutes with her blankie. That seemed to help.