Proactive parenting

[Anonymous]

I had a realization last night, which feels obvious in hindsight...

I feel like I'm always parenting in a reactive way instead of being proactive.

For example last night while I'm trying to make dinner, the 2 & 5 year olds are deliberately provoking each other, squabbling over everything. I tried to separate them, but they can't stay away from each other.

I had this vision of them at the dinner table independently doing an activity in peace while I cooked.

I feel like if I plan well enough in advance, I can make this happen.

For example, I get the play doh out, or set them up each with a little puzzle or....

If you are a parent that does this, can you share some strategies, and maybe some activities? Kids are both boys, if that matters.

[Anonymous]

I was a fan of TV while cooking dinner when my kids were that age. I’ll also say that boys are just like that. Lots and lots of outdoor exercise and playtime. Maybe give them a good hour of running around/playing outside before you start dinner, and then let them chill in the family room with toys and TV while you cook.

[Anonymous]

Separate them a LOT. Have one kid help you and one kid do an activity. Get them out of the house a LOT - it burns up their energy plus if they're outside, they're not inside making a mess.

Get in the habit of having them clean up after themselves. When they say "I'm going to build a fort now!" stop them and say "Whoa, first go clean up all the pipe cleaners all over the floor."

Tell them the behavior you expect. So as you approach Macy's, say "I expect you two to keep your hands to yourselves and ONLY walk, got it?"