Need help with having talk

[Anonymous]

There’s a guy at work who I’ve been casual friends with for a year. We work for a large company in different departments so don’t work closely together. 3 months ago we started hanging out together outside of work. There is very strong physical chemistry between us. when we hangout it’s like fleeing friends with an added element of “I want to eff your brains out”. Recently, we got very close to having intercourse and I stopped things. After going home and thinking about things I realized I have really strong feelings for this guy that I have been trying to supress. It would be a lot more than just sex to me. I also noticed that I feel really jealous when I see him talking to other women at work. I feel like I need to have a talk with him, because he is super confused about why I stopped things. Can anyone help me with what to say? I don’t know if he feels the same about me. I know he thinks I’m physically hot and we have a ton of stuff in common which leads to great convo.

[Anonymous]

Don't poop where you eat. Plenty of other fish in the sea. You will get over this bout of lust in 3-6 months.

[Anonymous]

Think about the worst case scenario: you have sex, maybe date for awhile, then it ends really badly and you continue to work for the same company and it is terribly painful whenever you see him. Is that worth the possible upside of acting on your crush?

If you decide it is, then is the “talk” you want to have something like—I really like you and I don’t want to have sex just to have sex, I would like to explore the possibility of an actual relationship? Then say that.

[Anonymous]

You're fine. You just need to let him know that you value his friendship and you enjoy working with him but that if you cross this line, you may not be able to go back. Tell him you only want to cross it if you both want the same thing moving forward. As long as you both go into it with open minds and honest intentions, neither of you should feel at fault if it doesn't work out. The only way you will know is to try. We miss 100% of the shots we don't take.