DSD does a few things that drive me up the wall!

[Anonymous]

DSD is 19 and in general a great person but does a few very entitled things that drive me nuts. Example:
- she throws trash out the window of cars. We had it out about this. She said it was someone’s job to pick it up. I told her it was a hazard and also I don’t want to get pulled over bc of this. I think we settled wherein she won’t do it while her father or I are driving.
- we travel internationally quite a bit and she packs fruit as a snack. She shrugs and says she has low blood sugar. She says “how are they going to catch me?” And “if the catch me all they do is make me throw it out”. I tried to explain that in the US she may have to pay a fine and overseas they might be stricter and she may have to pay fines or she might end up in secondary and asked to pay a bribe. She’s pretty and thinks she can flirt her way out of things and doesn’t really understand that outside of the US the rule of law can be a little hairy. She said “point taken but I won’t stop doing it”
Stuff like this drives me nuuuuuts. It’s just so entitled. But I’m tired of these little discussions with her and so is she probably. Is it better to drop it if things like this come up?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you should say no and should have parented stronger with consequences when she was younger. Buy food at the terminal before you board the gate. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Her attitude is typical of millennials. No forward thinking. Not apologetic. Disrespectful.
There is a coworker at work with the "be ignorant about XYZ, then apologize later for it" (he was about to purchase XYZ w/ the company credit card w/o purposely getting approval first). Um, play with fire much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you should say no and should have parented stronger with consequences when she was younger. Buy food at the terminal before you board the gate. Simple.

It’s her STEP - daughter. She could have me this girl last year or 15 years ago. OP didn’t specify, but generally, stepparents don’t have a big role in setting rules and consequences for kids. Why do you think your husband was so permissive, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her attitude is typical of millennials. No forward thinking. Not apologetic. Disrespectful.
There is a coworker at work with the "be ignorant about XYZ, then apologize later for it" (he was about to purchase XYZ w/ the company credit card w/o purposely getting approval first). Um, play with fire much?

This is a parenting issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her attitude is typical of millennials. No forward thinking. Not apologetic. Disrespectful.
There is a coworker at work with the "be ignorant about XYZ, then apologize later for it" (he was about to purchase XYZ w/ the company credit card w/o purposely getting approval first). Um, play with fire much?

She’s not a millennial, so what does that have to do with anything?

[Anonymous]

Upon arrival, you say to customs officer "I'm so sorry, my daughter inadvertently packed some tangerines. Can we give them to you?"

Just deal with the fruit.

[Anonymous]

If she throws stuff out the car, stop driving her around. Ask her dad to talk to her about the fruit and tell her he’s going to look through her stuff regularly if she brings illegal stuff. Ignore whatever you can.

[Anonymous]

My friend was a passenger on a road trip. She threw a donut out the window and figured an animal would eat it. A passerby on the highway called in the license plate of the littering vehicle. The DH of the driver was the official owner of the vehicle. He received a call and fine from the State Police for littering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DSD is 19 and in general a great person but does a few very entitled things that drive me nuts. Example:
- she throws trash out the window of cars. We had it out about this. She said it was someone’s job to pick it up. I told her it was a hazard and also I don’t want to get pulled over bc of this. I think we settled wherein she won’t do it while her father or I are driving.
- we travel internationally quite a bit and she packs fruit as a snack. She shrugs and says she has low blood sugar. She says “how are they going to catch me?” And “if the catch me all they do is make me throw it out”. I tried to explain that in the US she may have to pay a fine and overseas they might be stricter and she may have to pay fines or she might end up in secondary and asked to pay a bribe. She’s pretty and thinks she can flirt her way out of things and doesn’t really understand that outside of the US the rule of law can be a little hairy. She said “point taken but I won’t stop doing it”
Stuff like this drives me nuuuuuts. It’s just so entitled. But I’m tired of these little discussions with her and so is she probably. Is it better to drop it if things like this come up?

She is not a great person...not even close.

[Anonymous]

Does she understand the reason why you’re not allowed to bring fruit? It’s not about the money/fine.

Don’t drive her places until she stops throwing trash.
Don’t fly her places until she doesn’t pack fruit.

These are easy solutions.
She sounds obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

If she's 19, I wouldn't be bringing her on trips anymore with that attitude. She's an adult.

that's how you get rid of entitlement - you take away their ability to be entitled.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think she’ll do that stuff in our presence anymore but I think she’ll still do it and it bugs me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend was a passenger on a road trip. She threw a donut out the window and figured an animal would eat it. A passerby on the highway called in the license plate of the littering vehicle. The DH of the driver was the official owner of the vehicle. He received a call and fine from the State Police for littering.

That sounds a little off. They don’t hand out tickets without some proof (not just a phone call in)

[Anonymous]

Did you tell her it’s not actually anyone’s job to pick up trash in or by the side of the road? That’s why people do it for community service - it’s not anyone’s actual job! That’s why there are piles of trash in streams and wooded areas. Ugh. I throw the occasional apple core but never anything else. Anyway it’s not true that it’s a job. Maybe ask her to show you the job listing/job description because actually, it’s not a job. It’s your job not to throw your trash around.