Anyone else dreading their baby shower?

[Anonymous]

Mine’s on Saturday, which feels surreal after a long road of infertility and multiple miscarriages. I’m not someone who loves attention and given everything we’ve been through, the host is determined to make it “special” by going over-the-top (despite my wishes to keep it low-key). My dad also passed away not too long ago, and I’m nervous about opening the inevitable sentimental gifts I’m expecting to receive and losing it in front a large group of people. I just want the day to be joyous and happy but fear all the loss will put a damper on it for me.

[Anonymous]

its perfectly okay not to do gift opening at the shower.

[Anonymous]

Mine is Sat as well and I am feeling similarly. I really wanted something low key and now it’s become much bigger and fussier than I wanted. I would rather spend all day Saturday sleeping. My mom is helping plan it and she cannot make one decision on her own so she calls me multiple times a day to ask what she should do. I don’t like events that center around me and after years of infertility I am feeling anxious about it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is Sat as well and I am feeling similarly. I really wanted something low key and now it’s become much bigger and fussier than I wanted. I would rather spend all day Saturday sleeping. My mom is helping plan it and she cannot make one decision on her own so she calls me multiple times a day to ask what she should do. I don’t like events that center around me and after years of infertility I am feeling anxious about it all.

Wanted to add that my family has splintered after a death in the family and so some of my favorite relatives won’t be there which makes me really sad

[Anonymous]

Mine is Sunday and I felt super weird/uncomfortable about having anything at all. I am very lucky that my sisters who are planning it are respecting that and it will be super small and not too present-centric or me-centric. I hope.

Hugs to all of you and good luck getting through these things.

[Anonymous]

I refused all baby showers. I suggest you do the same in the future.

[Anonymous]

How many guests are you expecting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine’s on Saturday, which feels surreal after a long road of infertility and multiple miscarriages. I’m not someone who loves attention and given everything we’ve been through, the host is determined to make it “special” by going over-the-top (despite my wishes to keep it low-key). My dad also passed away not too long ago, and I’m nervous about opening the inevitable sentimental gifts I’m expecting to receive and losing it in front a large group of people. I just want the day to be joyous and happy but fear all the loss will put a damper on it for me.

Enjoy! It is such a happy day (Mom after infertility/IVF two teens now)—I still remember mine fondly. It’s a preparty for the baby

[Anonymous]

Also I get the loss. Just lost a parent it’s so hard. What joy the baby brings. Hugs!

[Anonymous]

I also lost my parents and think you sound incredibly ungrateful, honestly.

[Anonymous]

It's perfectly reasonable to be nervous. But once you're there, and see that you're surrounded by a lot of people who love and care about you, I think you'll feel better.

Hopefully the host has planned some games to keep things light, fun and festive.

And it's perfectly reasonable not to open gifts at the shower. Nobody likes the long present opening slog, so you can do that later with your DH. Just take good notes on the presents and send heartfelt thank you notes.

[Anonymous]

I get it OP. I also really dislike being the center of attention. It makes me sweat profusely. Which is what happened at my baby shower.

So yes, I mildly dread those kind of events but usually end up happy they happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also lost my parents and think you sound incredibly ungrateful, honestly.

She is allowed to feel how she feels. Why does that bother you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also lost my parents and think you sound incredibly ungrateful, honestly.

She is allowed to feel how she feels. Why does that bother you?

Look back through posts where no one will throw someone a shower. A host wants to make this incredible for OP. Wants to shower her and her baby with love. There are worse things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also lost my parents and think you sound incredibly ungrateful, honestly.

She is allowed to feel how she feels. Why does that bother you?

Look back through posts where no one will throw someone a shower. A host wants to make this incredible for OP. Wants to shower her and her baby with love. There are worse things.

She's not saying it's the worst thing in the world to happen to her, she's just sharing her feelings and it sounds like others feel the same way. Infertility can do a number on you mentally, and stacking that on top of a recent loss of a parent is a lot.