Now for something completely different: an in-laws vent!

[Anonymous]

DH and I are visiting his parents in the Midwest. His grandfather and uncle came too because that branch of the family is moving overseas and who knows when they’ll be in the states again. FIL kindly rented us a car, and we are staying at a hotel because my in-laws house doesn’t have enough room. I am so grateful for these things, but for some reason it means that I’m driving all 6 of us all over the place for sight seeing. It’s pretty rural so anything we do revolves around a city about an hour and a half away. I love driving typically (DH can’t drive because of a medical issue) but I’m on my last legs. Here’s why.

All of this family are back seat drivers. Google maps is serving us fine but in laws get upset I’m not “going the right way” which is actually longer, just because they’ve always gone that way. DH has tried to stick up for me, to his credit, but any time I make a turn and it’s not the “right” way I hear a sigh and “ooh let’s see where this way takes us...” and surprise it’s faster. They never mention that part.

Uncle (who I never met before) is chattering like a little kid!!! Every sign, restaurant, road side store, etc... “Ooh what is Pen-hams? Is that a chain? Have you ever been there? It is a restaurant? Oh look! A Five guys!! I didn’t know you have them here? Good food there heh. Springfield, next right! Oh no that’s not our exit. Maybe we’ll go someday right?” He also clicks his tongue with the turn signal. I want to mute him. And we’re driving hours every day so it never ends.

My FIL doesn’t want to do ANYTHING. Science museum is boring. Hates art. Doesn’t drink so no wineries, breweries. Wants to drive to this city and walk around the waterfront. It’s almost freezing and his father is elderly. We do this and everyone (including FIL) can’t wait to get inside. “Now what?” I offer soft ball suggestions. All shot down. I stop offering suggestions. “DIL what else is around here?” I don’t live here!!! You do!! We ended up driving around the city as uncle notices everything and points it out to us.

In-laws hate eating at restaurants. Even though major city has great dining, we drive home and eat reheated leftovers. I have offered to pay. They get offended that I want to pay for them. They live in a million dollar house and are not poor. Just cheap. MIL is a mediocre cook. I have offered to cook. Also offensive.

MIL has warned my husband and I that it will be taken with great offense if we want to branch off and do our own thing because we don’t know when we’ll see grandpa and uncle again.

Just a vent. Trip ends Monday. Almost there

[Anonymous]

Them: Are there any real American restaurants around here.
Me: *Lists a bunch of restaurants in the area*
Then: No, I mean like a Cracker Barrel.
Me: No.

[Anonymous]

To be fair, you could do worse than CB’s fried chicken.

[Anonymous]

I was going to offer suggestions but there's no changing this. It all sounds awful. Just really, really awful.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you during this difficult time. Hang in there, OP.

[Anonymous]

This is a dreadful time of the year for sight seeing in the Midwest, is it possible to cut back on the long drives and spend time looking at old family photos and reminiscing? Play cribbage?

Although I'm curious how a million dollar house in the Midwest would not have enough room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a dreadful time of the year for sight seeing in the Midwest, is it possible to cut back on the long drives and spend time looking at old family photos and reminiscing? Play cribbage?

Although I'm curious how a million dollar house in the Midwest would not have enough room.

+1 in particular when it’s 1.5 hours away from any major city

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a dreadful time of the year for sight seeing in the Midwest, is it possible to cut back on the long drives and spend time looking at old family photos and reminiscing? Play cribbage?

Although I'm curious how a million dollar house in the Midwest would not have enough room.

+1 in particular when it’s 1.5 hours away from any major city

+2 and I'm from Indiana.

What I don't understand is why you don't realize this isn't an IL problem. Your DH needs to handle his family. So what if MIL is 'offended' by you doing something on your own or going out for dinner or making something to eat. You have agency. Do something about it instead of bitching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a dreadful time of the year for sight seeing in the Midwest, is it possible to cut back on the long drives and spend time looking at old family photos and reminiscing? Play cribbage?

Although I'm curious how a million dollar house in the Midwest would not have enough room.

+1 in particular when it’s 1.5 hours away from any major city

My SIL lives in rural Wyoming in a 3 bedroom house that cost more than a million dollars, but it’s really the 100+ acres of land that have the value.

[Anonymous]

I’m really laughing at clicking the tongue in time with the turn signal. Lol!

[Anonymous]

You lost me at your disdain for Cracker Barrel. That tells me you don't have an open heart, an open mind, and good intentions. If you're not game for a trip to Cracker Barrel, you have a rattling marble where your brain should be, and a shriveled raisin where your heart should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a dreadful time of the year for sight seeing in the Midwest, is it possible to cut back on the long drives and spend time looking at old family photos and reminiscing? Play cribbage?

Although I'm curious how a million dollar house in the Midwest would not have enough room.

+1. I'm from Indiana. If you spent a million on a house, even in Indianapolis (where all the Eli Lilly and Indy Car/Formula 1 money is), you have extra rooms. Even up near Chicago, where Oprah had a big ranch house because of the better tax situation than Illinois, if you spent a million, you've got rooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a dreadful time of the year for sight seeing in the Midwest, is it possible to cut back on the long drives and spend time looking at old family photos and reminiscing? Play cribbage?

Although I'm curious how a million dollar house in the Midwest would not have enough room.

+1 in particular when it’s 1.5 hours away from any major city

+2 and I'm from Indiana.

What I don't understand is why you don't realize this isn't an IL problem. Your DH needs to handle his family. So what if MIL is 'offended' by you doing something on your own or going out for dinner or making something to eat. You have agency. Do something about it instead of bitching.

+1. Fellow Hoosier here. I will say that the awareness "You have agency. Do something about it instead of bitching" comes from you being a Midwesterner, so don't expect East Coast folks to get that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a dreadful time of the year for sight seeing in the Midwest, is it possible to cut back on the long drives and spend time looking at old family photos and reminiscing? Play cribbage?

Although I'm curious how a million dollar house in the Midwest would not have enough room.

+1 in particular when it’s 1.5 hours away from any major city

+2 and I'm from Indiana.

What I don't understand is why you don't realize this isn't an IL problem. Your DH needs to handle his family. So what if MIL is 'offended' by you doing something on your own or going out for dinner or making something to eat. You have agency. Do something about it instead of bitching.

+1. Fellow Hoosier here. I will say that the awareness "You have agency. Do something about it instead of bitching" comes from you being a Midwesterner, so don't expect East Coast folks to get that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You lost me at your disdain for Cracker Barrel. That tells me you don't have an open heart, an open mind, and good intentions. If you're not game for a trip to Cracker Barrel, you have a rattling marble where your brain should be, and a shriveled raisin where your heart should be.

OP here: I didn’t post about Cracker Barrel, that was a PP. I would have loved Cracker Barrel!! Better than three day old chilli!

About the house: they love on a big swath of land but on have a 4/3 house. ILs sleep separate, one room each for extended relatives, nowhere for us. Plus they have an anxious dog that barks every time a floor board creaks so I definitely am grateful for the hotel.

I remembered another thing: the peeing. All four men have bladder issues but they all pee at different points. I noticed this early on. We’re all ready to go, then one has to pee also we all wait. Then we’re ready to go again, another decides it’s best to go now before we hit the road. Then we wait. Then an hour later (almost to the city!) #3 has to go. Yesterday before we left I said (in a light, playful tone) let’s all pee now so we don’t have to stop! Because stopping means more directions and they don’t like to pee in gas stations, only nicer restaurants or stores. My husband later said that was very offensive to his relatives and him. I just gave up at that point. I stopped offering recommendations, stopped responding to uncle’s stream of consciousness, and stop trying to justify my google maps. Lol.

[Anonymous]

Do the uncles or ILs not have cars? Why can't they drive and you stare out the window in the backseat?