What would you do????

[Anonymous]

I have a friend that I have known since we both were pregnant. Our boys, now 5-1/2 play together often and us parent's have a good time together as well. One day after she was over my house, I noticed a couple of my son's good shirts were missing. Next time I saw her, her son was sporting one of the shirts (a unique designer shirt I got from a thrift store). I was surprised and commented that her son was wearing a nice shirt...she said to me....Yeah "I think it was a hand-me -down from you" (I have never given her any clothes from my son, who is only slightly larger than her son.....I have occasionally given her a few infant girl clothes and I know this shirt was not mixed in with those). I know she saw the shirt when she came over as it was on top of a laundry pile in our basement, near the playroom where we were all gathered. (I also know for sure her 5 year old did not take it) When I said I did not give the shirt to her she stated that she got it from someone, and shrugged her shoulders. This is a well educated and fairly well off single mother, who has the means to purchase nice things for her children (and she does), she is also somewhat cheap and materialistic. I cannot believe she has resorted to "stealing" from the child of a friend. I am not sure whether to confront her (which would be uncomfortable and may end the friendship), "steal the shirt/s back", or just end the friendship. I fell betrayed, angry and stunned. I would also like my sons shirts back!
Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Wow. It's so hard to imagine someone wanting to do this, let alone actually pulling it off, that it makes me wonder whether there is some possible other explanation? I have to admit, it's hard to think what it could be. Maybe your shirt is lost somewhere, and she has the same one, unbelievable as that seems? If not, I agree - completely appalling and almost chilling. If something similar happens again, you have two choices: confront her, or distance yourself. Neither one seems quite right, though. Tough situation. And kind of creepy.

[Anonymous]

she sounds totally unstable. who would steal a shirt from someone knowing that person would eventually see it?? you should get out of the friendship. let the kids play together, though. just don't have her over again. you may have to write off that shirt she stole.

[Anonymous]

(PP again. Whatever you do, do NOT steal the shirts back. On the off chance that the stars aligned and there is some explanation for this, you would look as bad as she looks right now. Also, it's illegal. And what good would it accomplish? You'd have the shirts, but you would feel weird about it and never want your kid to wear them.)

[Anonymous]

Kleptomania?
Do you feel she has used you in other areas?

Anyway, time to distance yourself.

[Anonymous]

You pretty much did confront her, and she lied about it. I don't know that another confrontation will help much. It sounds like you are very certain of your facts, so do you want to be friends with someone who stole something from you and then lied about it?

[Anonymous]

OP HERE: She often says she has no cash on her so I will often lend her money for small items like an Ice cream or drink for the kids....I usually never see the $, unless I remind her. Or she will ask me to pick up something from the store for her and not pay back unless I remind her. It gets annoying since she has more net worth/$ on paper than I will ever have.

[Anonymous]

She's more trouble than she's worth, OP. I'd drop her immediately, and move on.

[Anonymous]

She sounds bonkers. Distance yourself.

[Anonymous]

Wow weird. If she pit the stolen goods on her son when they came over, she clearly wants to get caught. Or gets a thrill out of it or knows that you won't confront her and gets off on it.

Whatever it is, it's time to breakup...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's more trouble than she's worth, OP. I'd drop her immediately, and move on.

That is what I would do - who needs a "friend" like this?

You have put her on notice that you are onto her re: the shirt; I don't think there is anything more you can do about that. I would never let her back into my house though.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PPs. Her response is almost a challenge to you to call her on it... to see how much you'll take. Hopefully, this is enough - I'd back away from her family now.

[Anonymous]

Wow OP that is really creepy, almost scary . . . I'd drop her too.

[zumbamama]

That is crazy. I think you don't need the stress of hanging around someone lying, stealing and taking advantage of you. If you choose to continue the friendship, I'd maybe keep the meet ups out of your house so she doesn't steal anything more. And label DC's clothes. But....she sounds a bit loca. I'd probably split.

[Anonymous]

Maybe a kleptomaniac. Definitely not a friend. Definitely a user. Drop her like a hot potato and move on. She will most certainly find someone else to do this to, why make it you?