My middle child can’t entertain himself

[Anonymous]

8yo middle child cannot be alone. He constantly wants play dates. He asks all of us to play with him every minute of the day. My older child enjoys alone time to read, draw, listen to music. Middle one can’t be alone ever. We also have a toddler who we have to watch at all times.

Just let middle child whine about being bored? Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Some kids are more extroverted than others. Personally I think it's easier to host playdates for the extroverted older child because then I can be in the home and have my attention devoted to the younger sibling. So my advice is to host more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8yo middle child cannot be alone. He constantly wants play dates. He asks all of us to play with him every minute of the day. My older child enjoys alone time to read, draw, listen to music. Middle one can’t be alone ever. We also have a toddler who we have to watch at all times.

Just let middle child whine about being bored? Any advice?

Besides occasionally playing with him let him know that they are chores to do if he whines to much about being bored. I'm sure you can think of things to do! I bet he won't be bored as often once you mention..unloading the diswaher, washing the windows, throwing in some laundry, weeding the garden etc etc.

[Anonymous]

Brainstorm ideas for him to do on his own. Post it somewhere. Refer to it when the whine time first starts. If he still complains of boredom, you can help him decide how to fill his time. Your 'help' deciding should consist of chores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some kids are more extroverted than others. Personally I think it's easier to host playdates for the extroverted older child because then I can be in the home and have my attention devoted to the younger sibling. So my advice is to host more.

I absolutely would host more but our toddler still naps.

I know other kids at least like screens but my kid is not interested unless others are playing with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids are more extroverted than others. Personally I think it's easier to host playdates for the extroverted older child because then I can be in the home and have my attention devoted to the younger sibling. So my advice is to host more.

I absolutely would host more but our toddler still naps.

I know other kids at least like screens but my kid is not interested unless others are playing with him.

Why can't you host while toddler naps? That's a win win. You have to be at the house anyway, and don't have to play with middle child. Encourage some outdoor play like football or basketball, and when they come inside they have a snack (quietly) and then some screen time before pick up.

[Anonymous]

Assuming you are not totally ignoring playing with him to focus on the toddler i would force it by telling him if he cant amuse himself in the house then he needs to go amuse himself in his room. Or tell him to read for 30 mins. Toddlers can amuse themselves too though so don't create another one that can't.

[Anonymous]

Nobody here has given kids chores when they are bored? I'm the pp who suggested that. My kids learned how to entertain themselves pretty quick!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody here has given kids chores when they are bored? I'm the pp who suggested that. My kids learned how to entertain themselves pretty quick!

Op here. My two older kids have chores on a regular basis. I will suggest additional chores.

[Anonymous]

The curse of the middle child! Why add chores to the kid that needs you? Why are you comparing your middle child to your older child? How cruel to add more chores to a kid that sounds like he needs more social interactions and more activities. Why not add a fun activity for you and him, or dh and him? Like movie on the weekend, kicking the ball, hiking, etc... I had to get used to doing organizing all this for dd. She is extremely social and dh and I are not, we were not going to stifle our kid just because we are duds.

[Anonymous]

My 7 year old DS is like this too, and is also the middle child. My younger (middle) sibling was like as well, per my mom.

For my DS, I think part of it is for attention, but part is his personality. My sibling still wouldn’t eat alone, always wants to go out with friends, etc while I am content and sometimes prefer to be by myself to think and decompress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The curse of the middle child! Why add chores to the kid that needs you? Why are you comparing your middle child to your older child? How cruel to add more chores to a kid that sounds like he needs more social interactions and more activities. Why not add a fun activity for you and him, or dh and him? Like movie on the weekend, kicking the ball, hiking, etc... I had to get used to doing organizing all this for dd. She is extremely social and dh and I are not, we were not going to stifle our kid just because we are duds.

Middle child plays 2 sports, cub scouts, chess club and plays piano. He has tons of activities. We also eat dinner together as a family every night. We do family movie night, play family board games, go on family outings. He is not a neglected child. He also probably has a play date or birthday party once a week as well and we get together with our family friends pretty often.

I help middle child with homework, talk about his day. Dh plays soccer and basketball with him.

[Anonymous]

My oldest child (10) is kind of like this. He knows better than to say the word “bored” very often (this equals housework), but he constantly tries to get his 5 yo sister to play with him. They play together a lot, but she likes some time to play by herself too. So he often pesters her and tries to make her play with him more. Drives me nuts. He also asks us to play games with him. We do sometimes, of course. Sorry; no great solutions to offer.

[Anonymous]

I think you are missing the point OP. Your update is about activities he has, which is great, but it sounds to me that the issue is at home. He wants YOU, and if you are not available he wants play dates. I think your kid wants one on one time with your and his dad. You did not mention one single example of an activity just for you and him. Many kids needs this one on one time.
He is eight, so explain nicely to him that on Sunday you will do such and such with him, and take time each day for a bit of time just with him. At his age, he should be able to understand that you can't spend every minute playing with him, but that you will spend time with him one on one, and make plans.
If you think this is more than that, some out of ordinary inability to be on his own, talk to his pediatrician and take it from there.

[Anonymous]

My 8 year old is the exact same, and my 6 year old is happy alone the majority of the time. Just different personalities. They have chores, they have books, they have games, they have EVERYTHING - he just craves social interaction. I totally get it OP. Maybe we should set them up, ha!