Talk to me about parent teacher conferences at the kindergarten stage

[Anonymous]

Just had our child's first parent teacher conference this morning, and feeling rather underwhelmed. Ours was the first of the morning, so, I'm not sure if it was a combination of long back to back parent/teacher conference days or what, but, from the start, the tone was more or less unenthusiastic. It's a teaching team, so, I met with both teachers that share time with my child throughout the day--one in the morning, and one in the afternoon. The first teacher started by asking about my child's reporting on school and what they think. I shared that my child generally likes it, and what they report socially. The teacher then proceeded to share that they see a lot of babyish behaviors from my child, lack of attention, distracted, and joking around. My child is a July birthday, and is a young five. They then shifted to say that given that birth date, my child's behaviors were more in the realm of developmentally and age appropriate. I asked if they had suggestions for things to work on at home, and they said they didn't, that my child is where they are at, and we don't need to try and rush them or force them ahead.

Basically, it sounded like a lot of the kids in the class are leaning towards being six, (teachers noted only five kids between the shared classes have birthdays between June-August), and that my child is on the young end of the spectrum. My child also receives weekly speech services, and when I asked about that, both teachers expressed confusion about when my child is pulled out for services, or even which half of the day my child spends in their respective classes. This surprised me, and made me question how meaningful the feedback was that they were offering if they were not even confident about if he is with Teacher A in the morning or Teacher B. They mentioned nothing that my child does well, which, I'm not going to pretend like they are the shining star of the class, but, the overwhelming focus on negative things was unsettling.

Finally, I had a phone call with my child's speech therapist after the conference. The speech therapist's report was a 180 from the teachers'. The ST reported that they love working with my child in the group setting they see them in on a weekly basis, and that from their observations, my child is willing, engaged, attentive, and age appropriate. ST also noted that one of the classrooms is particularly chaotic, and that particular teacher can be rigid and have overly high expectations. My impression was that OT is not overly impressed with this teaching team.

Both Teacher A and Teacher B more or less had a burned out vibe to them, and I 10000% appreciate that teaching is a often thankless under-resourced overtaxed job, but, still. This is why it's called work, and they have to pay you to be there.

Not wanting to be a crazy kindergarten mom, but, want to advocate for my child as needed, and don't want my child to get the trickle down of negativity and develop a dislike for school. Is this beginning of the year growing pains, young five situation, or try to reach out more and advocate for my kid? Appreciate your helpful and constructive comments.

[Anonymous]

What is the teaching team about? That's not something I've seen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the teaching team about? That's not something I've seen.

It's a bilingual school--so, half the day is with one teacher in a foreign language, and the other half of the day is with the other teacher in English.

[Anonymous]

What were you looking for in these conferences? They are usually to address concerns and that’s it. We stopped going after 3rd for my oldest and after 1st for DC2.

[Anonymous]

I think you should carry on as you've been. Your kid is fine.

If they said he was picking his nose or using baby talk, I'd say tell him to cut those things out, but since they gave you nothing to work with him on, just ... carry on.

Don't worry about the teachers.

[Anonymous]

Fall conferences are more about the teacher getting information about your child. In the spring the dynamic reverses and generally they have more information and observations to share.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I was a K teacher. I sure hope I did better than what you described. I always tried to start and end the conference with something positive--and sneak the difficult items into the middle. It's also an opportunity for the teacher to establish a positive relationship with you. It's a shame they did not do this.

It sounds like your kid is on target. I'm sorry you left with disappointment in the conference. That's a shame. It may be that the teacher is just not comfortable with conferences or was just having a difficult day.

I must admit that I find this "team" thing off putting. It sounds to me like it makes it more difficult to get to know the kids.

Now. to play devil's advocate:
1. The teacher has a very short time to talk with you.
2. Remember, she has a number of children to relate to. You have only one child being discussed.

And, remember, the speech therapist likely sees your child in a one-on-one situation. The K teacher does not get that privilege.

FWIW, my DD's K teacher was a little cold with adults--but great with the kids. Maybe these K teachers are, as well.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like the immersion team at LR. If so, know you aren’t alone in your impressions. Sorry, I realize that isnt super constructive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What were you looking for in these conferences? They are usually to address concerns and that’s it. We stopped going after 3rd for my oldest and after 1st for DC2.

This is our oldest, so we are learning as we go. The only other thing we've encountered like this is the parent teacher conferences that our daycare did--and it was not a fancy or high end daycare, but, they offered much more thoughtful and insightful feedback in to our child's progress and development than what I experienced today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should carry on as you've been. Your kid is fine.

If they said he was picking his nose or using baby talk, I'd say tell him to cut those things out, but since they gave you nothing to work with him on, just ... carry on.

Don't worry about the teachers.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I was a K teacher. I sure hope I did better than what you described. I always tried to start and end the conference with something positive--and sneak the difficult items into the middle. It's also an opportunity for the teacher to establish a positive relationship with you. It's a shame they did not do this.

It sounds like your kid is on target. I'm sorry you left with disappointment in the conference. That's a shame. It may be that the teacher is just not comfortable with conferences or was just having a difficult day.

I must admit that I find this "team" thing off putting. It sounds to me like it makes it more difficult to get to know the kids.

Now. to play devil's advocate:
1. The teacher has a very short time to talk with you.
2. Remember, she has a number of children to relate to. You have only one child being discussed.

And, remember, the speech therapist likely sees your child in a one-on-one situation. The K teacher does not get that privilege.

FWIW, my DD's K teacher was a little cold with adults--but great with the kids. Maybe these K teachers are, as well.

Thanks so much for your feedback. I hope that things get better with time as the year goes on. It's all still pretty new. And our little one is a social butterfly, so I don't doubt that they spend time engaging with other kids vs paying attention to what's being taught, but, I think that's not atypical for kindergarten.

The speech therapist sees our child in a group session with two other kids--so a 3:1 ratio. Still smaller than the class, but, still not one on one, and with some group dynamics present and at play. I'll plan to follow up in a moth or so, and see if I can check in and touch base and see how things are going.

[Anonymous]

Most kids would prefer a small group like speech over the classroom. They think kids play games there and they often do. I am an ESOL teacher and every kid wants to come with my group. They have no idea what we do in class. It doesn’t matter. It’s something different. Does your child get speech for articulation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most kids would prefer a small group like speech over the classroom. They think kids play games there and they often do. I am an ESOL teacher and every kid wants to come with my group. They have no idea what we do in class. It doesn’t matter. It’s something different. Does your child get speech for articulation?

Yes! They get Speech for articulation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like the immersion team at LR. If so, know you aren’t alone in your impressions. Sorry, I realize that isnt super constructive.

Different program actually. But, it’s probably a commonly theme for kids to struggle behaviorally until they’ve achieved a certain level of comfort and mastery over the second language. I mean, it’s not shocking to me that a five year old wouldn’t be attentive and paying attention if they can’t understand what’s being said. I appreciate that it’s probably a challenge for the teachers, but, I guess I would hope that the school and teachers would be mindful of these things and work to build in the supports and resources required until the kids have a relative grasp of the second language and are better able to follow along with the instruction.

[Anonymous]

I recall a lot of giggling at all 3 of my kids' kindergarten conferences, as the teacher tried to maintain a straight face as she recounted all the naughty behavior of my boys and as I tried to maintain the proper amount of head nodding seriousness balanced with shame and concern.