Predict what will happen to me!

[Anonymous]

I am a 35 y/o female. Married the wrong person 5 years ago, am seriously considering divorce. I make very good money for the first time (moving around for DH’s jobs held me back previously). I wanted kids but DH wasn’t ready until recently and I have had 3 miscarriages since January.

Current state of mind: Tired of doing everything for the household, tired of compromising and not getting support around things that are important to me, feeling like I dodged a bullet with miscarriages due to bad marriage. Sincerely do not care if I am single for the rest of my life, only care about my own financial security after having erroneously put it in someone else’s hands in the past. Love my job and feel hopeful about enjoying life on my terms.

What do you think will happen to me in 5 years? Happily single? Lonely and regretful? Reattached?

[Anonymous]

Please divorce. You do not want to have a child with someone who doesn’t contribute to household work and who puts their career over yours. Particularly on the latter point, when society already prizes make careers over a female careers, you need to pick a mate who supports you professionally. That includes helping you at home and with kids.

[Anonymous]

So did you change your mind on wanting kids?

[Anonymous]

Divorce him. You'll go on to meet someone better and get together.

[Anonymous]

What do you think, OP? That’s what matters. I’m sorry for your losses.

[Anonymous]

I divorced at 34. No kids. I had offers for dates within a week of people hearing I was separated—not even divorced. Eventually married an amazing guy 10 years younger than me! Life is better than I ever could’ve imagined. You don’t have to live like this. Divorce isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of a life with endless possibilities.

[Anonymous]

Married with one child. Mostly happy.

[Anonymous]

Just pull the plug on the marriage and get a divorce. Since no kids are involved, it should be quick and relatively painless.

Then go on and live a great life. Partnered, re-married, single, whatever, you will be free to choose any path you want.

If you don't then here's what I predict:

you will waffle with this decision for years, stay in an unhappy and unhealthy marriage. Late-40s you will finally take action. You will finally feel free but will lament on the 10+ years that you wasted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So did you change your mind on wanting kids?

I changed my mind about having kids at any cost. I recognize that I may never get to have kids if I divorce and I feel ok with that. I wouldn’t want my kids to endure a bad marriage between their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a 35 y/o female. Married the wrong person 5 years ago, am seriously considering divorce. I make very good money for the first time (moving around for DH’s jobs held me back previously). I wanted kids but DH wasn’t ready until recently and I have had 3 miscarriages since January.

Current state of mind: Tired of doing everything for the household, tired of compromising and not getting support around things that are important to me, feeling like I dodged a bullet with miscarriages due to bad marriage. Sincerely do not care if I am single for the rest of my life, only care about my own financial security after having erroneously put it in someone else’s hands in the past. Love my job and feel hopeful about enjoying life on my terms.

What do you think will happen to me in 5 years? Happily single? Lonely and regretful? Reattached?

I think you'll be having a torrid affair with me, because while the divorce took an enormous toll on you emotionally, the craving for physical intimacy never wavered.

You were very up front about what you were looking for, and I was totally on board. The sex was the most intense I'd ever experienced. It was like there was literally another version of you that had been imprisoned inside and was finally set free.

It took less than a month for the feels to show up. I'm not sure how I knew. Maybe it was something in the way we kissed goodbye, or the way you looked at me while I held you. When I finally let it slip - "I love you" - and your eyes filled, I knew it was the beginning of the end. I couldn't leave, and you deserved a shot at the life you'd always wanted - the loving husband, the kids, the happily ever after.

It's been ten nearly years, and I still think about you every day. You look more beautiful than ever, and your boys are growing up so fast. It looks like he's good to you, and that you're finally happy. But I do hope you still think of me once in a while.

Have a good life.

[Anonymous]

Who knows.
In 5 years you could be broke and unemployed due to any number of circumstances and struggling to find a friend’s couch to rest on for a few months...
OR
In 5 years you could be trapped in a basement somewhere being held against your will along with several other women by some sicko who seduces single women online...
OR
In 5 years you could be beginning your initial round of radiation treatment for breast cancer and struggling to contain your fears and doubts and maintain a positive outlook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who knows.
In 5 years you could be broke and unemployed due to any number of circumstances and struggling to find a friend’s couch to rest on for a few months...
OR
In 5 years you could be trapped in a basement somewhere being held against your will along with several other women by some sicko who seduces single women online...
OR
In 5 years you could be beginning your initial round of radiation treatment for breast cancer and struggling to contain your fears and doubts and maintain a positive outlook.

For some reason, I love this answer. Such a cynic, pp.

Also love the torrid affair answer above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who knows.
In 5 years you could be broke and unemployed due to any number of circumstances and struggling to find a friend’s couch to rest on for a few months...
OR
In 5 years you could be trapped in a basement somewhere being held against your will along with several other women by some sicko who seduces single women online...
OR
In 5 years you could be beginning your initial round of radiation treatment for breast cancer and struggling to contain your fears and doubts and maintain a positive outlook.

For some reason, I love this answer. Such a cynic, pp.

Also love the torrid affair answer above.

Lol you love the answer with all completely negative outcomes? Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Get on birth control, get a divorce and then get a life. Whatever it is it will be better than what you currently have and you will control your destiny. A question for you - has going through three miscarriages beaten you and your husband down so far that you both might need some therapy?

[Anonymous]

You'll be fine. You can still have a child if you want to, without the relationship concerns.

Single with no kids, you can start over, older and wiser. The possibilities will all be open to you.

The main thing is that you won't be in your current miserable situation. Single and happy will always trump partnered and miserable. There isn't even any guarantee you'll remain single, but if you don't divorce, you will certainly remain miserable.