Righteous anger or sour grapes?
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Anonymous
| DD's team took a pounding today. It was respectable until half and then, well, the floodgates opened. It quickly went to 5, 6, 7 -0 and higher. The other team's coach was shifting his players around, he put in rules that they had to play off their keeper before they could go forward, that every player had to touch the ball etc which was fine. At the end, however, he put a girl in goal who had a cast on her arm! I heard him yell that if we shot to let it go in, and one of his parents explained to us that it was their regular keeper and he probably just wanted her to practice using her feet (they had to play off of her) , but it still seemed like a slap in the face- like we were so bad that a kid with a broken arm could keep us out? Am I the jerk or was he? Was anyone? Thanks. |
Anonymous
Neither. Don’t worry about it and don’t let your kid worry about it. There is no good answer other than play hard the whole game. A valiant effort in a lopsided game is a great lesson for the dominant team as well. |
Anonymous
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He didn’t do it to shame your team. He was trying not to make it lopsided and to give all of his kids a chance to play, even a kid with a broken arm.
Your anger is misplaced. |
Anonymous
+1 aka mercy rule |
Anonymous
This. He was doing it for your girls’ benefit. |
Anonymous
I wouldn't take offense to it. It sounds like he recognized that the teams were mismatched and made an effort to avoid running the score up. Re: the GK with a cast, I'd think that his comments were more directed to the GK as in "if there's a shot on goal, don't worry about trying to save it and risk injuring yourself even more". And what one of the other parents said about getting the GK to use her feet seems reasonable given the cast. All in all, I wouldn't be offended by what you described. My daughter's team played a year up in their league once and lost most of their games as a result. One of those games was so lopsided that the score was like 10-0 or 11-0 early in the second half and the other coach was yelling at his players about not being aggressive enough and passing up shots. So when you consider that behavior compared to what you described, hopefully you'll see your opposing coach in a slightly better light. |
Anonymous
| Sounds fine to me. If your kid was in a cast, would you tell the coach "don't put her in, it might hurt the feelings of the other team?" |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thanks for your input. I do think you all are right in retrospect. It is just hard to take watching your kid's team get beaten like that. I guess I need a thicker skin |
Anonymous
It is hard to watch, and it’s especially hard if it’s one of the first times it’s happened to your kid. It is very much to your credit that you asked the question in the first place and are willing to sincerely listen to the answers. These things are vastly harder on parents than they are on kids. Down the road you’ll be fine with these type of situations except in the rare occasion where the opposing team celebrates their 10th goal like they are at the World Cup (and I still think it’s very unseemly to do that if you are at the World Cup). |
Anonymous
It’s tough seeing your kid on the losing end of a blow out. The good thing is they seem to take these type of loses better vs the adults. Do not show your disappointment or frustration to your kid. They are just kids and they did the best they could. They will have good games and bad games ...and good 1/2’s and bad 1/2’s. You will get them next week and this will be a distance memory! |
Anonymous
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Its tough, but even at the highest level good teams take poundings.
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Anonymous
| What would you rather the coach have done? It sounds like he was doing everything possible to avoid running up the score. |
Anonymous
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At least that coach tried to make things better.
We had a 9-0 loss on Saturday and their coach did absolutely nothing to stop his girls running up the score. Nothing. And he kept his best goalie in the entire game, which you are not supposed to do. Worst of all, the girls kept celebrating every goal by dancing and posing on the field, and the parents cheered every goal as if it was the first in a close game. It was ridiculous. Our coach talked to another coach for advice afterward and apparently this is normal for them, so we're complaining to the league. (we play this team every season and normally only lose by a couple points.) I'm an assistant coach and if we are playing a team and we get ahead of them by more than 3 points, we immediately make changes - put girls on positions where they are weak, require 5 passes before attempting to score, etc. Our girls also know how to be gracious when beating a team badly. |
Anonymous
| I think it is just hard to watch your team get creamed, and probably nothing the opposing coach can do to not have you wondering if she or he is a jerk. If they had the score at 6-0 and then, kept possession the entire game, you'd be (naturally) miffed because they made your team run all around the field and look bad. Most non-parent coaches are not trying to stick it to a weaker team. |
Anonymous
| those games hurt. best to just block out the whole experience. |