My husband is an over sharer.

[Anonymous]

Money: The last time my husband received a promotion he also received a substantial raise and was all too eager to share with his mom his new income. After that, it was always, oh you can afford this or that. Like for example, we took a day trip and everyone was interested in an activity there. We found out it would be $50 a piece. My husband and I didn’t think it was worth it, but my MIL insisted, oh that’s nothing for you guys.

He shares details of our comings and goings and I wish he wouldn’t, because she tends to try to invite herself. Like if we are going to the renaissance festival, oh that’s fun, I’ll come. He’s good about turning her down, but why does she need to know in the first place?

Car repairs even. I had to have some work done and my friend’s husband is a manager at a dealership. He offered to do the work there just at cost (no labor). My mil went on about how we should have a dedicated mechanic, we are paying more at a dealership. We aren’t, and why the hell did she need to know about my car? Seriously? They have nothing else to discuss?

I’m so over this and dying on this hill. Anyone else have an oversharer for a husband and did you get him to knock it off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Money: The last time my husband received a promotion he also received a substantial raise and was all too eager to share with his mom his new income. After that, it was always, oh you can afford this or that. Like for example, we took a day trip and everyone was interested in an activity there. We found out it would be $50 a piece. My husband and I didn’t think it was worth it, but my MIL insisted, oh that’s nothing for you guys.

He shares details of our comings and goings and I wish he wouldn’t, because she tends to try to invite herself. Like if we are going to the renaissance festival, oh that’s fun, I’ll come. He’s good about turning her down, but why does she need to know in the first place?

Car repairs even. I had to have some work done and my friend’s husband is a manager at a dealership. He offered to do the work there just at cost (no labor). My mil went on about how we should have a dedicated mechanic, we are paying more at a dealership. We aren’t, and why the hell did she need to know about my car? Seriously? They have nothing else to discuss?

I’m so over this and dying on this hill. Anyone else have an oversharer for a husband and did you get him to knock it off?

no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Money: The last time my husband received a promotion he also received a substantial raise and was all too eager to share with his mom his new income. After that, it was always, oh you can afford this or that. Like for example, we took a day trip and everyone was interested in an activity there. We found out it would be $50 a piece. My husband and I didn’t think it was worth it, but my MIL insisted, oh that’s nothing for you guys.

He shares details of our comings and goings and I wish he wouldn’t, because she tends to try to invite herself. Like if we are going to the renaissance festival, oh that’s fun, I’ll come. He’s good about turning her down, but why does she need to know in the first place?

Car repairs even. I had to have some work done and my friend’s husband is a manager at a dealership. He offered to do the work there just at cost (no labor). My mil went on about how we should have a dedicated mechanic, we are paying more at a dealership. We aren’t, and why the hell did she need to know about my car? Seriously? They have nothing else to discuss?

I’m so over this and dying on this hill. Anyone else have an oversharer for a husband and did you get him to knock it off?

no.

You’re lucky. It’s seriously infuriating.

[Anonymous]

I think he is sharing appropriately-it's normal to talk about your life with family. Your MIL does sound like an overstepping, but such is life.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s endearing. He cares and wants to share with family

[Anonymous]

I feel like you're upset about the wrong thing. It's not that he's oversharing, its that he's codependent on his mother and it's unhealthy and creepy

[Anonymous]

You are not complaining about an over-sharer. You are complaining that your husband is too close and chatty with his mom, whom you do not like. Those are very different.

When your husband talks to someone on the metro about your infertility struggles, let's the check out lady know that you've tried other brands of cereal but they "clog" him up, etc. THEN you have an oversharing problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think he is sharing appropriately-it's normal to talk about your life with family. Your MIL does sound like an overstepping, but such is life.

My in-laws have no idea how much DH and I earn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like you're upset about the wrong thing. It's not that he's oversharing, its that he's codependent on his mother and it's unhealthy and creepy

He isn't oversharing, and telling his mother about car repairs and family outings is normal communication. Please enlighten us as to how it's "codependent ".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not complaining about an over-sharer. You are complaining that your husband is too close and chatty with his mom, whom you do not like. Those are very different.

When your husband talks to someone on the metro about your infertility struggles, let's the check out lady know that you've tried other brands of cereal but they "clog" him up, etc. THEN you have an oversharing problem.

Agreed. Is there a reason you hate her so much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not complaining about an over-sharer. You are complaining that your husband is too close and chatty with his mom, whom you do not like. Those are very different.

When your husband talks to someone on the metro about your infertility struggles, let's the check out lady know that you've tried other brands of cereal but they "clog" him up, etc. THEN you have an oversharing problem.

Ha ha! You are right. The wife may not like her DH being close to the MIL and sharing stuff, but he is not over-sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Money: The last time my husband received a promotion he also received a substantial raise and was all too eager to share with his mom his new income. After that, it was always, oh you can afford this or that. Like for example, we took a day trip and everyone was interested in an activity there. We found out it would be $50 a piece. My husband and I didn’t think it was worth it, but my MIL insisted, oh that’s nothing for you guys.

He shares details of our comings and goings and I wish he wouldn’t, because she tends to try to invite herself. Like if we are going to the renaissance festival, oh that’s fun, I’ll come. He’s good about turning her down, but why does she need to know in the first place?

Car repairs even. I had to have some work done and my friend’s husband is a manager at a dealership. He offered to do the work there just at cost (no labor). My mil went on about how we should have a dedicated mechanic, we are paying more at a dealership. We aren’t, and why the hell did she need to know about my car? Seriously? They have nothing else to discuss?

I’m so over this and dying on this hill. Anyone else have an oversharer for a husband and did you get him to knock it off?

In the day trip: "Mary, we didn't say we couldn't afford it. We said we didn't think that fly-fishing wasn't worth $50 to us. We don't tell you how to spend your money. Please show us the same courtesy."

In the outings issue: "Dave, every time you tell your mom about a weekend activity, she invites herself along. Can we agree only to tell her specifically about things we are planning that she is invited to? Let her find out about Timmy's pony ride and turkey leg on Facebook like everyone else."

I have nothing to say about the car repair issue. I will say that there are probably times when I have overshared with my father because he asks a zillion questions and sometimes it is easier to just answer the questions than be evasive. He is 67 years old and is not likely to change this aspect of his personality any time soon. None of the things you describe sound like major boundary oversteps. My oversharer husband posted a picture of me in a hospital gown when we went to the hospital for DD to be born, which resulted in my phone blowing up over the next 12 hours with people asking how labor was gone. My way of dealing with this was to say, "Dave, that was a huge violation of privacy. Please do not do it again."

[Anonymous]

Doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like you're upset about the wrong thing. It's not that he's oversharing, its that he's codependent on his mother and it's unhealthy and creepy

He isn't oversharing, and telling his mother about car repairs and family outings is normal communication. Please enlighten us as to how it's "codependent ".

Agree. OP’s just looking for a fight.

[Anonymous]

You are specifically talking about his mother. The title of your post makes it sound like he broadcasts to the world.

You have a problem with his relationship with his mother. Telling one's parents about getting a raise, and other normal events is not oversharing. If you are a privacy freak, own it. It's your problem, not "oversharing."