What life skills to teach kids so that they can be independent at 18?
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Anonymous
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What are the skills a child above 12 but under 18 needs to know so that they can live independently at 18? I am making a list but any good feedback is much appreciated.
- Personal hygiene - Taking care of clothes and shoes - laundry, mending, ironing, folding - Study skills - Cleaning - Cooking - Driving - Basic Computer skills - Basic personal finance |
Anonymous
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Being a self-advocate in whatever they do after high school - college, career pathway, apprenticeship, etc. So knowing when to seek help and how to do it appropriately.
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Anonymous
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More than that it is about
-time management -decision making -critical thinking -coping with negative emotions -grit and resilience -managing boredom and loneliness in healthy ways -strong foundation in sense of self and identity -assertiveness -setting boundaries for self and others -treating others with respect and expecting respect from others -help seeking skills etc |
Anonymous
| If you are a foster mom, besides taking care of the kids, what would you teach them so that they are better equipped when they leave you? |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| Managing their health care, etc. |
Anonymous
| Basic car maintenance, e.g. change a tire on side of the highway, change wiper blades, etc |
Anonymous
If you are a foster mom, I would focus the most on helping them understand they are loved, worthy, etc. if they’ve had multiple placements this might not come naturally and truly the rest of the skills are fairly moot without it. Then in addition help on some basic executive function stuff - how to prioritize, pick out important information, plan, and execute. But #1 is the first part. |
Anonymous
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Making appointments,
Basic home repairs Managing conflict Having fun without substances Thick skin |
Anonymous
Thank you. Glad you wrote this here. Mental and physical health both need to be taken care of. |
Anonymous
| Personal safety. Who can you call in an emergency? Pack extra charger in your car for your phone. Be willing to cross the road if someone is approaching you and makes you feel suspicious, or refuse to go into an elevator with a man alone - even if it looks awkward. Know where the local police department and ER is. Park only in lit areas. Be willing to ask someone to walk you to your car (for example, a safety officer at college if you are studying late at the library). Be careful about ear bud use when running or walking in high traffic areas. Wear reflective clothing if biking or running at night. These types of things. |
Anonymous
You're welcome. |
Anonymous
I think I need to teach myself some of these life skills 
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Anonymous
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I think the most important are meta-skills. The sense that you can learn new things, master stuff you don’t have any idea about right now, improve your situation...I think “growth mindset” is largely BS but something like that. We all have stuff we never learned, either skills or facts. The really important thing is having the toolset to learn them when you identify the gap.
Oh, and a good understanding of yourself: what works for you, what doesn’t, how to make sure you’re doing what needs done in a way that it will actually GET done. |
Anonymous
God bless you foster Mom. I like the grit and resiliance prior posted mentioned. Work is honorable. All classes of work are honorable, i.e. the guy picking up the trash is supporting his family. Be generous about helping others,i.e. shovel the snow of the senior citizen lady on the street. A lot of life is about not giving up. Set your goals and work towards them. Get an etiquette book in the library. The importance of looking people in the eyes when meeting new people. Hand shake skills when meeting new people. Good posture for girls and boys. Boys opening doors for women. These skills go along way in getting jobs. Appropriate way to dress for entry level jobs, i.e girls should not wear hootchie skirts when applying for entry level jobs. You would be amazed at what I see with entry level job applicants. Boys should wear khaki pants and collard shirt when applying for minimum wage jobs. Girls should wear pants and blouse when applying for minimum wage jobs. We live in a very image centric immediate gratification society. To get the job/career he/she wants generally takes time and effort. Reinforce positive self worth. Reinforce hanging out with the right friends. Does kid want to go to college? Have someone (at school or at religious organization) review kids essays before submitting college applications. Generally foster kids college applications are looked at very closely and tend not to be rejected. Does kid want to go in the military? Does kid want to work a trade? We had a young lady work as a caregiver for my Mom. She was not a foster kid but she truly had a lot on her shoulders. She was 20 and about 100 pounds. She was very small and petite. Her Mom was in prison and getting out of long term prison and her Dad was getting ready to go to long term prison. For such a young person she had way too much thrust on her. Anyways, she was in the Army National Guard and you could tell she really got a lot out of it. She spent one weekend a month and two weeks in the summer on her Army National Guard duties. She had a lot of confidence and carried herself well. For any kid that does not have a big support network it is worth considering the Army National Guard. Also, if kid has any interest in medical field looking at the military is not a bad way to go. Military pays for college and RN training etc and kid has several years of service afterwards. Again, God Bless you poster and thank you for your question and being a foster Mom. |