Toddler won't do "circle time"

[Anonymous]

I have a child who is just under the age of 2. We have signed up for a range of fun activities- dance, MyGym, music classes, etc. to keep her busy. All of these classes are specifically geared toward her age group.

We did a first round of classes last week, and she absolutely refuses to sit for circle time, or sit at times when all the parents/kids are supposed to be sitting in a circle and participating for various activities. She likes to explore and run around. And, to some surprise, she seems to be the only child of this age who isn't enjoying circle time. Seriously, out of three classes last week, she was the only one running around and not wanting to sit. She is definitely a spirited child, and I have two older kids who were also spirited, so my expectations were not that high when it came to thinking she would just sit there and go along with the flow of the class. But I'm also frustrated that the teachers in these classes keep telling me to make her sit down when really I can't, in spite of my best efforts. When I go to get her, she throws temper tantrums in the circle or screams, because she wants to stand, walk around, observe outside of the circle, and what not. When I let her do what she wants, she mostly stands at a distance, wants to climb on chairs for observers, and comes in and out of being in the circle.

Should I cut my losses and go ahead and quit these classes? I don't want to be disruptive to the classes, but I also think it's a little unfair for the classes to be so strict about her staying on my lap or sitting for an hour when she wants to move around. Please no harsh remarks about this. I'm already feeling judged, and stuck because I've spent money for classes that don't seem to get her style.

[Anonymous]

It’s a skill and you have to teach them. We start around 9 months at the free library classes. My youngest is 15 months now and sits maybe 50% of the time. He’s not easy going like my older two. We’ll keep working on it though

[Anonymous]

There’s nothing to understand. Your kid isn’t ready for these classes. Stop going. It’s that simple.

Take her to a playground instead. You’ll both be happier.

[Anonymous]

I’d say wait a bit and then re-introduce when she’s older. You want to set her for success to help her create positive associations with group classes. Also, our music together class let’s kids wander around, so maybe you can find less-structured classes, e.g., Tinkergarden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s nothing to understand. Your kid isn’t ready for these classes. Stop going. It’s that simple.

Take her to a playground instead. You’ll both be happier.

+1

Not all classes work for all kids. Stick to open gym type programs. Gymboree has drop in open gym times. My dd is 2.5 now but she’s always done best with open free play programs where instructors are supervising and offering opportunities to try new things but not asking all kids to sit calmly and do the same thing at once. We attend free library story times to practice sitting still and following instructions and just started a mommy and me ballet class that’s focused on teaching toddlers how to be in a class, wait their turn etc. but expectations are very low at the start. I don’t waste money on anything that conflicts with her personality and current abilities.

[Anonymous]

You can teach (train) your DD to sit when the teacher wants her sitting. I'd quit any classes that are mostly sitting. For the others I would leave the room anytime you DD is disruptive (i.e. loud). Make leaving the room boring.

Then you practice sitting at home. Maybe you can get your older kids to play teacher. Then you and DD practice sitting when the "teacher" says to sit.

[Anonymous]

I have twin boys who were very high energy. I found that if I wanted to have any chance that they would sit down for anything that I had to plan at least 45 minutes at a playground with them running around like they were going to run the entire Indianapolis 500 (an hour plus worked better, but sometimes it was hard to get that much time before). Then, I could usually get them to sit, especially if I bribed them with a snack like halved grapes, apple slices, gold fish, etc.

[Anonymous]

Tinkergarten is a class that encourages exploration. Look into that.

My child is so much the same. I spent all kinds of money on classes in which he ran away or would not pay attention. Music class was cool until he became fully mobile. Soccer was a disaster. The best were gymnastics (Power Tots is the one we did) and Tinkergarten. Power tots was great because it wasn't super structured, in an enclosed room, and he was interested in what his body can do.

I second the suggestion to do less class, more playground! On a personal note, I wonder if my child has ADHD. If he does, no big deal. I keep observing and this behavior seems to be somewhat outside of norm.

[Anonymous]

A few sessions at MyGym and DS (almost 3) was resistant to circle activities. I spent lots of time holding him as we bounced around following the directions. But he did enjoy the skills activities. And we did our best to keep him sitting (or at least not bothering others) while waiting his turn.

We talked a lot about following directions. Then one weekend, I told him if he didn’t follow directions, we were leaving. The threat worked for about 2/3 of class. (I would walk over, lean into to ear and ask “since you aren’t following directions, does that mean you want to leave?”)
Then he just went off the rails and would not follow directions. So I grabbed him and our stuff and took him to the car. He was WAILING. But I held firm. And it worked, for the most part. He’s still a rambunctious little boy. But now I just have to say “follow directions or leave?” And he’s back on track.

But at early 2, I’m not sure I’d push it. Only you really know your kid. Is it that she’s just not ready and pushing things is just setting her up to fail? Or do you think she’s able and you just need to put consequences in place to teach her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have twin boys who were very high energy. I found that if I wanted to have any chance that they would sit down for anything that I had to plan at least 45 minutes at a playground with them running around like they were going to run the entire Indianapolis 500 (an hour plus worked better, but sometimes it was hard to get that much time before). Then, I could usually get them to sit, especially if I bribed them with a snack like halved grapes, apple slices, gold fish, etc.

This is silly. Why go to the class at all? It’s supposed to be fun for them. If it’s a chore, why not just stay at the playground longer?

You and OP are looking for ways to complicate your lives. Especially since toddler classes are completely unnecessary. It’s like going out of your way to make sure an elementary kid who hates amusement parks goes on the roller coaster. Just. Why?

[Anonymous]

I have an eight-year-old with HFA. The very first thing that tipped me off that she was wired differently was when, at age three, she repeatedly wandered away from her three-year-old gymnastics tumbling group. All the other kids participated as expected, except for mine — who couldn’t have cared less about the group. At the beginning of the second class they threw her out, “for safety reasons.”

I’m not in any way saying your child has HFA. But I suggest being extra attentive for other symptoms.

[Anonymous]

^ I don't think this is it. All three of the kids are "spirited”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have twin boys who were very high energy. I found that if I wanted to have any chance that they would sit down for anything that I had to plan at least 45 minutes at a playground with them running around like they were going to run the entire Indianapolis 500 (an hour plus worked better, but sometimes it was hard to get that much time before). Then, I could usually get them to sit, especially if I bribed them with a snack like halved grapes, apple slices, gold fish, etc.

This is silly. Why go to the class at all? It’s supposed to be fun for them. If it’s a chore, why not just stay at the playground longer?

You and OP are looking for ways to complicate your lives. Especially since toddler classes are completely unnecessary. It’s like going out of your way to make sure an elementary kid who hates amusement parks goes on the roller coaster. Just. Why?

Agreed. It’s not a developmentally appropriate expectation. She’ll learn more and have more fun at the playground. It’s a bummer to lose the money but think of the money you’ll save by not signing up again for a while.

[Anonymous]

Yes please skip the classes op. And I’m sorry, I can imagine it was difficult and stressful. But if you want some structure to your day, try activities that encourage exploration and unstructured play. The research supports that being great for kids and it sounds like your daughter would be a great fit. Examples are tinkergarten (given above) and also free forest school - the kids get to just run, explore, and then at the end there is snack plus reading one book but no kid would be forced to sit.

[Anonymous]

“Spirited” lol!!