PK3 - still adjusting and hates school

[Anonymous]

It’s been a battle every morning to get my daughter to school. The excuses and tantrums are non stop. In fact she wore me down today and stayed home (I physically couldn’t muster the energy to get her out of the door - it was pretty bad). While I would say this is just an adjustment period, she has been at a school/center since she was 1 years old and while she would have tears and tantrums it was never ok this level. She says that she is scared and doesn’t like the school. I know it’s still very early but anyone else experiencing this? I’m most surprised bc I assumed she wouldn’t be this bad since she had prior experience. At this point I’m considering sending her back to the center for another year (also to add: we got to a DCPS and I haven’t had the best feeling of the teacher/program. I too miss our old center)

[Anonymous]

I think there's nothing wrong with sending her back to the place she was comfortable as long as they are "teaching" to her level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there's nothing wrong with sending her back to the place she was comfortable as long as they are "teaching" to her level.

+1. She's three years old OP! She is obviously too young for this. Try again next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there's nothing wrong with sending her back to the place she was comfortable as long as they are "teaching" to her level.

The center actually taught her more then I expected. She has been reading her sight words. When I explained that to her now teacher she said they wouldn’t have done that in her grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's nothing wrong with sending her back to the place she was comfortable as long as they are "teaching" to her level.

+1. She's three years old OP! She is obviously too young for this. Try again next year.

Her birthday is in October so she will be 4 pretty soon. I don’t think it’s the age at this point and really think she doesn’t connect with the school/teacher. In fact it was more rigorous learning at her center.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's nothing wrong with sending her back to the place she was comfortable as long as they are "teaching" to her level.

+1. She's three years old OP! She is obviously too young for this. Try again next year.

Her birthday is in October so she will be 4 pretty soon. I don’t think it’s the age at this point and really think she doesn’t connect with the school/teacher. In fact it was more rigorous learning at her center.

Hmm if I were you I’d meet with the teacher/s ASAP. Try to come and observe the class even while she stays home if necessary. If YOU like it then see if you can push through another week or two before deciding. If you don’t love it then don’t bend over backwards to send her there. As far as content I wouldn’t worry about that so much for this age but look more at the overall environment and socio emotional support.

[Anonymous]

My kid's teacher shared this article that I thought was pretty good.

https://parenting.nytimes.com/preschooler/school-dropoffs?action=click&login=email&auth=login-email

Here are some of her other suggestions. With the last one, make sure to get an idea from her teacher about some of her favorite activities so you can be specific. FWIW, I say stick with it. Letting her temper-tantrum her way out of school sets a terrible example.

//My biggest tip is to make the drop-off as quick as possible. The longer you stay the harder it gets for sure. Timing is an important piece here, too. The kids come down to my door at about 8:40 and then there is a long line of kids greeting me and coming in and being happy which might be good for him to watch, too.

As far as language goes, I think making the schedule clear helps the most. Here are my favorites:

"See you after nap!" instead of "See you at the end of the day!"
"Mommy's going to work at my office and you're going to work at school. I can't wait to hear about what you worked with today."
"Work. Lunch. Play. Nap -- that's the plan today! Then Mom will pick you up."

If you can get him talking about what he wants to do FIRST when he gets to school, that's an easy way to get in the door. //

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's nothing wrong with sending her back to the place she was comfortable as long as they are "teaching" to her level.

+1. She's three years old OP! She is obviously too young for this. Try again next year.

Her birthday is in October so she will be 4 pretty soon. I don’t think it’s the age at this point and really think she doesn’t connect with the school/teacher. In fact it was more rigorous learning at her center.

Hmm if I were you I’d meet with the teacher/s ASAP. Try to come and observe the class even while she stays home if necessary. If YOU like it then see if you can push through another week or two before deciding. If you don’t love it then don’t bend over backwards to send her there. As far as content I wouldn’t worry about that so much for this age but look more at the overall environment and socio emotional support.

Thank you for these tips!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid's teacher shared this article that I thought was pretty good.

https://parenting.nytimes.com/preschooler/school-dropoffs?action=click&login=email&auth=login-email

Here are some of her other suggestions. With the last one, make sure to get an idea from her teacher about some of her favorite activities so you can be specific. FWIW, I say stick with it. Letting her temper-tantrum her way out of school sets a terrible example.

//My biggest tip is to make the drop-off as quick as possible. The longer you stay the harder it gets for sure. Timing is an important piece here, too. The kids come down to my door at about 8:40 and then there is a long line of kids greeting me and coming in and being happy which might be good for him to watch, too.

As far as language goes, I think making the schedule clear helps the most. Here are my favorites:

"See you after nap!" instead of "See you at the end of the day!"
"Mommy's going to work at my office and you're going to work at school. I can't wait to hear about what you worked with today."
"Work. Lunch. Play. Nap -- that's the plan today! Then Mom will pick you up."

If you can get him talking about what he wants to do FIRST when he gets to school, that's an easy way to get in the door. //

Good luck!

Great article, thank you!

[Anonymous]

My Pre K-3 child had a tough week last week and has been a little resistant this week. His teacher said that it usually takes until November before they adjust. That seems like a long time away but I'm hopeful. She also said the crying at drop off starts all over again in Pre K-4, so you might want to take that into consideration.

[Anonymous]

I’ve learned my kid needs 6 weeks to adjust. We haven’t had the tough time getting out of the house but he complains and says he is sad and wants to go back (to his former class, or former school) but I know he’s doing well for the majority of the day. And then it clicks. I’m a fan of bribery if needed— not sure you ascribe to it, but give that kid a little lollipop in the car on the way to school if she leaves the house without you having to do a fireman carry. Or she gets to watch videos on t e way home, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Pre K-3 child had a tough week last week and has been a little resistant this week. His teacher said that it usually takes until November before they adjust. That seems like a long time away but I'm hopeful. She also said the crying at drop off starts all over again in Pre K-4, so you might want to take that into consideration.

It can also start again after winter break. I promise it does get easier though. My DD was one of the ones that cried frequently at drop off in PK3. It sucked at the time, but I am glad we stuck it out - she is in K now and loves going to school. The tips posted above are helpful. We also gave her what we called a “brave bracelet” where if she felt scared, she could rub one of the ‘magic beads’ to help her be brave (any trinket allowed in the classroom or even a sticker could work for this. We also created a “calm down” routine that she would do when she started to get worked up. It really helped at school and even at home when she would get upset.

[Anonymous]

Teaching sight words in a 3s class is indicative that this preschool does not know the current research in early childhood education. This is NOT age-appropriate. Your child is telling you in her own way that she is stressed out and not having fun. Children should be learning through play at this age, not with worksheets and flash cards.

[Anonymous]

It took our kid about 3 months to adjust to Prk3. Though they were home prior. We had actually started looking at part-time programs. While waiting on a spot the kids just kind of turned a corner and all was fine. Some kids need more time to adjust to new environments than others I am glad we gave it a bit more time. But had IEP services not been a factor we probably would have pulled the kid sooner.

[Anonymous]

This was my DD last two weeks. Miraculously, she went back to normal Monday and has been super happy at drop off. It’s a long day for the kids and it’s a big adjustment. She’s my second kid so I wasn’t as worried about it since I know she’d be fine once I left. I also started having dad do drop offs. Yes, bribes work. They may not be appropriate, but they work great for us. This morning she actually said she was excited to play with her new friend. Life is good. OP, from my prior experience and with friends, some kids to take a month or so. I honestly wouldn’t worry about it too much. Kids also pick up on parent’s anxiety which could make things worse.