do you ever stop hoping

[Anonymous]

47. one pregnancy at 46 even after being diagnosed with blocked tubes (only lasted 7 weeks). We have kids and so not doing any treatments. But every month we try, and every month I hope, and every month I am just a little disappointed. When does it stop? Perhaps this is the wrong forum. Maybe I should be in the 50 and above forum to get an asnwer

I do want another and feel my family incomplete though so much that I am willing to waste time and treasure and mental anguish on either IVF with doner eggs or adoption.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I mourned what I couldn't have, so I could move on and appreciate what I do have. I started a gratitude journal. It helped a lot.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, it sounds like you need to move on. In all likelihood, this isn’t going to happen without a significant intervention. Donor eggs would be the fastest option.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you either need to commit to pursuing it (though likely unsuccessful and with donor eggs), or make a decision to stop hoping it will happen. All or nothing.

Of course no one will suggest that you have another child at 47, but I understand....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:47. one pregnancy at 46 even after being diagnosed with blocked tubes (only lasted 7 weeks). We have kids and so not doing any treatments. But every month we try, and every month I hope, and every month I am just a little disappointed. When does it stop? Perhaps this is the wrong forum. Maybe I should be in the 50 and above forum to get an asnwer

I do want another and feel my family incomplete though so much that I am willing to waste time and treasure and mental anguish on either IVF with doner eggs or adoption.

Op I am asking this sincerely: what does an “incomplete family” feel like? I always thought that was a strange term. Your family is what it is, no?

[Anonymous]

No. I have one and am now in Peru menopause. I never stop hoping and still feel that twinge if angst whenever I see pregnant women or hear people getting pregnant on the first try. It gets less and less but it’s there....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:47. one pregnancy at 46 even after being diagnosed with blocked tubes (only lasted 7 weeks). We have kids and so not doing any treatments. But every month we try, and every month I hope, and every month I am just a little disappointed. When does it stop? Perhaps this is the wrong forum. Maybe I should be in the 50 and above forum to get an asnwer

I do want another and feel my family incomplete though so much that I am willing to waste time and treasure and mental anguish on either IVF with doner eggs or adoption.

Op I am asking this sincerely: what does an “incomplete family” feel like? I always thought that was a strange term. Your family is what it is, no?

It's weird, but when I go to make hotel reservations or dinner reservations, I naturally imagine needing x number of beds, and then I remember, no, I only need y number. You know when people lose an arm and then can sense a ghost arm there? That is a little what it is like. Or like sitting down to dinner and there is an empty seat at the table even when there isn't.

That is the best way I can describe it. It's not terribly distressing. It may come from growing up in a family of 5 and so feeling like 4 is incomplete.

[Anonymous]

It's been 5 years for me TTC #2. I got pregnant right away with my daughter and had a really easy pregnancy and delivery. Started TTC #2 when my daughter was 10 months old. It's now been 5 years with zero pregnancies, and we tried everything. I was diagnosed with "unexplained secondary infertility." So there was always hope since I had no idea why I couldn't get pregnant.

We recently gave up when I got my day 3 bloodwork done after a year and my FSH was 20 and my AMH had dwindled to .20. I've been having peri-menopause symptoms for the last 6 months so I figure with that plus those dismal blood test results, it really is over and there's no point continuing to TTC. I'm 41.

Yes, my family does feel incomplete. We gave away all the baby/toddler things and just recently my husband said it's time to sell the crib, which is the last baby item we saved. I agree, it is time. I've come to an acceptance but my family does feel incomplete, and every month I still have a tiny bit of hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:47. one pregnancy at 46 even after being diagnosed with blocked tubes (only lasted 7 weeks). We have kids and so not doing any treatments. But every month we try, and every month I hope, and every month I am just a little disappointed. When does it stop? Perhaps this is the wrong forum. Maybe I should be in the 50 and above forum to get an asnwer

I do want another and feel my family incomplete though so much that I am willing to waste time and treasure and mental anguish on either IVF with doner eggs or adoption.

I had a hysterectomy at 42. I never felt like my family was complete but was having really heavy periods and cramping and pain--due in part to endo and also to fibroids. We tried to get pregnant every month from age 36 to 42. Finally I had enough and just scheduled the surgery. It was a bit scary because I wondered if I would regret it.
Turns out it was the best decision of my life. I moved on emotionally. If I could have planned my life, would I have had another child? YES! absolutely. But having the hysterectomy allowed me to emotionally move on and 100% live for the kids I do have. I hated living in the limbo of "should I give everything away?, will this be the month? how long should we try?" It drove me nuts. It was therapeutic to put it all behind me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:47. one pregnancy at 46 even after being diagnosed with blocked tubes (only lasted 7 weeks). We have kids and so not doing any treatments. But every month we try, and every month I hope, and every month I am just a little disappointed. When does it stop? Perhaps this is the wrong forum. Maybe I should be in the 50 and above forum to get an asnwer

I do want another and feel my family incomplete though so much that I am willing to waste time and treasure and mental anguish on either IVF with doner eggs or adoption.

I had a hysterectomy at 42. I never felt like my family was complete but was having really heavy periods and cramping and pain--due in part to endo and also to fibroids. We tried to get pregnant every month from age 36 to 42. Finally I had enough and just scheduled the surgery. It was a bit scary because I wondered if I would regret it.
Turns out it was the best decision of my life. I moved on emotionally. If I could have planned my life, would I have had another child? YES! absolutely. But having the hysterectomy allowed me to emotionally move on and 100% live for the kids I do have. I hated living in the limbo of "should I give everything away?, will this be the month? how long should we try?" It drove me nuts. It was therapeutic to put it all behind me.

To the poster above, did the pain go away after the hysterectomy? Asking because I have severe endometriosis.