follow up after playdate meltdown?

[Anonymous]

What is proper etiquette following a playdate when your child has a complete meltdown, especially at the end? Do you circle back with the parent to apologize for the behavior? Or do you let it be since most kids meltdown at some point or another? thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is proper etiquette following a playdate when your child has a complete meltdown, especially at the end? Do you circle back with the parent to apologize for the behavior? Or do you let it be since most kids meltdown at some point or another? thanks!

Depends. Is your kid 3 or 8? If 8, yes I would follow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is proper etiquette following a playdate when your child has a complete meltdown, especially at the end? Do you circle back with the parent to apologize for the behavior? Or do you let it be since most kids meltdown at some point or another? thanks!

Depends. Is your kid 3 or 8? If 8, yes I would follow up.

He's 5

[Anonymous]

1) You learn from it. How long was the play date? In what setting? It sounds like it was either too long or in a setting that was not supportive for your son.

2) When talking to the other parent, you could say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry our get together ended the way it did the other day. I think Sam was feeling overstimulated/under-stimulated. Maybe next time we could pick a more low-key venue/do something outside so they can run around more."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) You learn from it. How long was the play date? In what setting? It sounds like it was either too long or in a setting that was not supportive for your son.

2) When talking to the other parent, you could say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry our get together ended the way it did the other day. I think Sam was feeling overstimulated/under-stimulated. Maybe next time we could pick a more low-key venue/do something outside so they can run around more."

Thanks---VERY long playdate indeed.......

[Anonymous]

I'd apologize on behalf of ME for not recognizing that my kid was at the edge of their limit. I do sometimes do this where I'm having a good time with the parents, so I let my kid stay too long, and then leaving is hard and there are tears. But I usually put that all on me, because it really is my fault.

If you left without saying goodbye, I'd just send a quick text and apologize for the rocky exit and that next time you'll make sure you leave before Johnny is at the end of his rope.

[Anonymous]

I've had parents reach out and apologize to me---I"ve never really felt it necessary....so I"m bad at recriprocating...but maybe I should......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) You learn from it. How long was the play date? In what setting? It sounds like it was either too long or in a setting that was not supportive for your son.

2) When talking to the other parent, you could say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry our get together ended the way it did the other day. I think Sam was feeling overstimulated/under-stimulated. Maybe next time we could pick a more low-key venue/do something outside so they can run around more."

I would leave this part off as the other parent might have suggested the activity, and it would feel like you were blaming them somehow.

[Anonymous]

I'd apologize/explain, but if I were the other parent, I'd totally understand and not hold it against you. Haven't we all been there with a kid having a meltdown?

[Anonymous]

I don't see the harm in sending something light. "Thanks for hosting us on Saturday. Sorry for Larlo's meltdown and our quick exit. Hope you guys enjoyed the rest of your weekend."

[Anonymous]

Personally, I think as long as the kids are hitting, biting, destroying things, or calling each other hurtful names, it's all ok. I only wish adults were this conscientious about about how we act toward one another....

[Anonymous]

UGH - sorry trying again.

this recently happened to us. a playdate and the child didn't want to leave. complete epic meltdown. the parent felt we should've understood and is offended because we don't want to host anymore. it's very uncomfortable situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think as long as the kids are hitting, biting, destroying things, or calling each other hurtful names, it's all ok. I only wish adults were this conscientious about about how we act toward one another....

***are not***

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UGH - sorry trying again.

this recently happened to us. a playdate and the child didn't want to leave. complete epic meltdown. the parent felt we should've understood and is offended because we don't want to host anymore. it's very uncomfortable situation.

So you hosted a playdate and the visiting child didn't want to leave and had a meltdown? And now you don't want to host any further playdates based on that one meltdown? Yeah, I think you could be a little more understanding. Does your child always act perfectly?

[Anonymous]

I think a quick, short, "sorry about the meltdown"

Bigger point is, it's not about what you say or don't say. There are no magic words or right vs wrong approach. Do you know these people? Do you have any history? If the adult relationship is awkward there will be behavior some behavior which is viewed as unacceptable.