Birthday party drama

[Anonymous]

DD is turning 8 in November and really wants to have a party at the American Girl store. We told her she can invite 5 other friends and she is fine with that. The issue is that every year in the past our extended family has come to our kids' birthday parties since they have been in bigger venues - this includes my parents, DH's parents, my sister and BIL with their two younger kids (currently 2 and 4) and DH's brother and SIL (no kids). We decided that this year we would do a kids only party for DD, and then a family party the next day rather than host 10 extra people at the birthday party who frankly won't have fun (the kids kind of do their own thing) and it's expensive.

After we told everyone the plan they all got very offended that we aren't inviting them to the actual party. We tried to explain that they wouldn't really be socializing with DD at the party for the most part and that we would rather do something more intimate with just family so they could actually spend time with her... but they don't seem to care and are just focusing on the fact that they are excluded from the party.

Curious to know if everyone typically invites family to their kids' birthday parties, or does something separate. Are we in the wrong to exclude them? Just doesn't seem to make sense since the adults would all be at a separate table and literally just having lunch ourselves.

[Anonymous]

It's completely normal to have 8 yo parties be for kids only. Your family is unreasonable, all the more so because what adult in their right mind wants to go to a party at the American Girl Doll store?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's completely normal to have 8 yo parties be for kids only. Your family is unreasonable, all the more so because what adult in their right mind wants to go to a party at the American Girl Doll store?

I completely agree...however, does the OP’s DD have girl cousins who would enjoy the American Girl Doll Party? If so, I think they should be included too. I would honk the fee is per kid anyway and wouldn’t include adults?

[Anonymous]

We always have a friend party and a family party.

[Anonymous]

8 years is when parties aren’t different. I’d assume it’s a drop off party for everyone else.

and no, adults aren’t included when you have lunch at American girl store.

[Anonymous]

Next year do not mention the friend party, just mention the party they are invited to.

[Anonymous]

If she had any girl family members between 6 and 10, I’d invite them; otherwise, friends only. I had my first sleepover party at 9 and obviously family wasn’t invited to that; I think you’re around the age when it becomes weird to invite adult family.

[Anonymous]

If you are doing an expensive specialty party, no, you don't invite them and have a separate one. Big party, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is turning 8 in November and really wants to have a party at the American Girl store. We told her she can invite 5 other friends and she is fine with that. The issue is that every year in the past our extended family has come to our kids' birthday parties since they have been in bigger venues - this includes my parents, DH's parents, my sister and BIL with their two younger kids (currently 2 and 4) and DH's brother and SIL (no kids). We decided that this year we would do a kids only party for DD, and then a family party the next day rather than host 10 extra people at the birthday party who frankly won't have fun (the kids kind of do their own thing) and it's expensive.

After we told everyone the plan they all got very offended that we aren't inviting them to the actual party. We tried to explain that they wouldn't really be socializing with DD at the party for the most part and that we would rather do something more intimate with just family so they could actually spend time with her... but they don't seem to care and are just focusing on the fact that they are excluded from the party.

Curious to know if everyone typically invites family to their kids' birthday parties, or does something separate. Are we in the wrong to exclude them? Just doesn't seem to make sense since the adults would all be at a separate table and literally just having lunch ourselves.

This is very normal and your family is too sensitive. We got dropped completely when my bros kids were older than 1.

[Anonymous]

You messed up when you called the AG store the “real” party. The real party is the big family party on Sunday. Saturday is just an outing with a few of her friends.

[Anonymous]

Your family sounds dramatic and looking for reasons to be offended. Your current plan is totally fine

[Anonymous]

Your family is weird but I agree with PP’s that you must have presented this is a strange/offensive way. How hard is it to say we’ll be having you guys over for cake and ice cream on Sunday the 5th? How did the other party come up and why was it even presented as a big thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You messed up when you called the AG store the “real” party. The real party is the big family party on Sunday. Saturday is just an outing with a few of her friends.

This.

You should have said “The party is Sunday. We’re also taking DD to do some fun outings throughout the birthday the weekend!”

(Her cousins are too little to be included in the AG party.)