Motivating Kids to Hustle

[Anonymous]

I feel like I've tried everything.

My 6 year old is a good player, he used to hustle, now he puts forth the least amount of effort on the team. He says he feels like he's not as good as everyone else (it's objectively not true). I don't put pressure on to score goals or be perfect - I just want to see the effort. He walks, he lets people dribble by him with little effort to stop them. He plays with his penny and loses focus so easily.

Can anyone who has been through this offer any advice?

[Anonymous]

They are 6. Let them be 6. Don't turn soccer into a "you have to do this or that". Just let them be 6.

[Anonymous]

At that age the more aggressive kids—kids who have aggressive personalities, not just in soccer—tend to dominate. I remember pointing out to my husband that the same boys who always took the ball and scored were also the kids who would get in trouble for hurting another kid or being too wild at the team parties. Now my son plays with some of those same kids in high school and you would never guess who scored the most goals at the U6 level.

As they get older it’s more about skill. If he likes soccer, do camps and practice in the backyard. Just keep working with your son on his ball skills and fitness, and don’t worry about him winning the ball in games as much.

[Anonymous]

Nope. It’s not your job to get him to hustle. Just tell him that you enjoy watching him play (no matter how he plays) and note anything especially good, if there is anything. Don’t be critical.

[Anonymous]

Having gone through something similar, all efforts to motivate backfired spectacularly. The best thing to do is focus on playing with him, play pass, show him really basic 1v1 moves and shooting. Have him bring a friend, keep it fun. Once they get better and see they can dribble around people, then they really get excited about getting the ball and try a lot harder.

They have to work harder because it's fun, not because you are making them or are instilling your try-hard value set on them. As they get older, there is more you can do.

[Anonymous]

6, 7, 8, it's no big deal. Kids phase in and out on what they will do. Some days they are "on" and working hard. Some days they phase out all the time.

Some time ago one of my kids played on a pretty low level travel team and one of the boys was still a daydreamer out there at u10. His dad actually played for Liverpool for 2 years, and he had an older brother who played for a major D1 school. So a big soccer family. But, their youngest was a nice kid who literally could be picking daisies out there as a u10. Yet, dad was a great example for us. When he could get to a game and his kid was phasing out -- he would say "xxx what can you do to help?" Totally great.

The reality is that it is a maturity thing more than anything else, and there is very little that you can do to address it other than to make sure that he is having fun. Eventually he will catch on that it is fun to work and try hard. Although, I would guess, that you still have the phase of working hard to no particular end to go through.

[Anonymous]

OP here: thanks for the advice. It’s really helpful to hear from others who have been through this. I’m going to focus on being supportive and making sure he’s having fun.