Different personality than ours

[Anonymous]

DH is a serious person, and I am more like a boring/socially awkward person. Our 4 year old happens to be a silly, tricky, chatty, affectionate, loves to make people around him laughing, sometimes like to mock people & loves to tell jokes that type of boy, and he acts like a silly clown. We both are worried that he might get himself in trouble when he goes to K because of his personality. Many preschool teachers tell me that he is a smart boy, and he does a lot of silly acts on purpose to seek attention. I think he is likable by preschool teachers, but I bet some of his preschool kids find him loud & annoying. Does public school teachers (K & 1st grade) find these types of personalities disruptive & unlikable in a classroom setting? I wish his personality can tone down a bit. DH says that he is spoiled, and that is why he acts like that. Could personality change over time in the next few years?

[Anonymous]

WOW. Please, for the love of God, do not try to tone down your sweet, fun child’s personality to be more like you and your husband. Try to accept your child for who he is. He deserves that. Also, he sounds incredibly charming. Nothing you said indicates behavior problems. Appreciate him and enjoy him instead of trying to stifle him.

[Anonymous]

You guys sound like a real barrel of monkeys. He will probably move out soon anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys sound like a real barrel of monkeys. He will probably move out soon anyway.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys sound like a real barrel of monkeys. He will probably move out soon anyway.

Yeah, like, in 2nd grade!

[Anonymous]

Your DH sounds terrible with no understanding of young kids. Your son's personality is not because he's "spoiled." It's because he's a goofy 4 year old.

You do not indicate that you never say "no" or give your son whatever his little heart wants, which would actually be "spoiled." Maybe your DH needs to read something like "No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame" before your son turns into a withdrawn, unhappy kid rather than this delightfully quirky phase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys sound like a real barrel of monkeys. He will probably move out soon anyway.

LOL

I needed this laugh this morning.

[Anonymous]

Most preschoolers like to act silly, OP! It is nothing the teacher or the other kids will be unable to handle! Read some books about parenting!

[Anonymous]

My kid was very silly at 4, even at preschool. He's now 5.5 and while still very silly at home, is appropriately behaved at kindergarten, and was in his last year of preschool as well. They do calm down. We had a few years where we wondered if he was going to be the class clown but apparently at school he is a serious rule follower -- he saves all the shenanigans for when he gets home! (My 2.5 year old, on the other hand, is very definitely not a rule follower at preschool and we've already heard how they can't leave her alone for more than 2 minutes because she'll draw all over the carpet and then announce, with a big smile, "I'm teasing!")

[Anonymous]

Your son sounds great OP, don't worry.

FWIW, my son at 4 was a challenge in preschool behaviourally. Most of his ways of seeking attention were negative (tantrums, crying, hitting...)

Now, he has finally learned how to use humor to get positive attention and it is a HUGE leap forward.

Elementary school teachers will fully recognize and manage your son's behavior. And your son will further develop his ability to entertain and charm people.

It's all good. Don't worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was very silly at 4, even at preschool. He's now 5.5 and while still very silly at home, is appropriately behaved at kindergarten, and was in his last year of preschool as well. They do calm down. We had a few years where we wondered if he was going to be the class clown but apparently at school he is a serious rule follower -- he saves all the shenanigans for when he gets home! (My 2.5 year old, on the other hand, is very definitely not a rule follower at preschool and we've already heard how they can't leave her alone for more than 2 minutes because she'll draw all over the carpet and then announce, with a big smile, "I'm teasing!")

Hey OP, were you looking for an example of a parent that does not discipline / a kid that is spoiled? Here's one for you! She wanted us to laugh... Destruction isn't funny.... Your kids a spoiled brat.

[Anonymous]

I used to work in schools. Know which kids I found annoying and boring? The kids who had no personality. I'd take a smart badly behaved kid any day over a simple kid who was behaved and couldn't connect.

I had no problem deviating from lesson plans to make them more personalized for non-standard kids, or jogging down the hallway while teaching to a kid who had tons of energy.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't be anxious about his personality. He will be "reined-in" form life experiences and tweak his own behavior, if it's necessary. Don't do too much to shelter him from other's criticism, and you shouldn't work hard, either, to mold him into any other personality. He has a right to be his own goofy self.

[Anonymous]

My 5 year old DD is a charming clown/ham/jokester and DH and I are boring/serious introverts. Guess what--DD makes us laugh and livens up the house. I was worried that she seeks negative attention through misbehaving at home, but apparently she is well behaved at school. Teachers like her,and teachers of weekend activities like dance, etc. absolutely LOVE her. She occasionally angers the after school care director when she's overexcited, but overall it's fine.

So my recommendation is that you (and especially your DH) accept your son for who he is. If it causes problems in school, ask teachers to help you work with him on how to channel that personality in non-disruptive ways.

[Anonymous]

There will always be people who don't like your kid, Op. No matter the personality. That's normal life. Do not bring whatever social anxieties you have into this (if you have them)