Any tips for transition to new preschool from home daycare?

[Anonymous]

Son is 2.5 and started a new preschool today. He had been at the same small in home center since he was 4 months. Drop off was fine but at pickup he SOBBED and clinged to me and said MommyMommyMommy over and over. Teachers said the day was fine though. Bedtime was rough, lots of stalling and whining and wild behavior. Any tips from others who have made similar transitions? Is this just a wait it out thing? We have talked about how exciting school is and have a Daniel Tiger goes to school book.

[Anonymous]

Wait it out. I had two weeks straight of all day crying, which eventually switched to just crying at drop off. Took a few months to make that stop. Mine was exactly 2.5 at the time as well, so I think it may just be an age thing. Plus my kid was super verbal so she would tell me exactly how she felt about school and ask a million questions about why she couldn't just stay with nanny or me at home like before. it was heartbreaking. focus on the things he does like. tell him how he gets to do X (crafts, snacks, music, whatever floats his boat) now that he's in school. we also started doing party friday's where we celebrate the end of a week with ice cream and a dance party. my kid is 6 and we still do this.

[Anonymous]

My kid struggled each year with the transition from one room to the next at his day care/preschool. Trust the teachers to let you know if it is abnormal. DS would cry and struggle at drop off and at pick up his teachers would tell me that he had stopped crying a few minutes after his Dad left. There were toys to play with! and new books to look at! and art on the wall! After a week or two, the tears at drop off were gone and DS would ask me to leave at pick up so he could play more.

The bed time stall and the like is also normal. It is a big change for kids, whether it is a new school or classroom. They need some help with that and are reaching out for the extra time with parents and extra comfort. Lots of hugs and snuggles and reading. Special snacks.

And lots of praise. There is nothing wrong with saying "I am so proud of you, going to a new school and trying so hard." It is also fine to say "I know that this change is difficult. You miss teacher X and your friends at Y. And that is hard. I am Proud of you. Teacher Z tells me that you are doing a,b,c which is new. Good for you for doing new things!"

I get it, it sounds corny but it lets your kid know that you understand that this is difficult and why it is difficult but that you are proud that they are doing these new things. It validates their feelings and praises their accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

Just wait it out, listen to their feelings, etc. My kid has been at the same daycare since 3.5 months, and is happy to go most days, but then today she melted down for no obvious reason at drop off--she's 2.5 also, an age of big emotions.

[Anonymous]

OP here thanks so much for this! It helps to feel like we aren’t alone. Did anyone else experience trouble or regressions in other areas? Ie we have had a really hard time with bedtime and WAY early wake ups the last few days - were these just random bad nights or tied to the new school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here thanks so much for this! It helps to feel like we aren’t alone. Did anyone else experience trouble or regressions in other areas? Ie we have had a really hard time with bedtime and WAY early wake ups the last few days - were these just random bad nights or tied to the new school?

Totally tied to the transition.

I try and remind myself how nervous I get when things are changing and how that effects my sleep. If there is a change coming, or ongoing, I struggle to fall asleep because my brain is too active and I wake up more easily because my brain is more active. At least, that is how I describe it. If that is how change effects me at 47, how is it effecting your child at 2.5? You have past experiences that you can call on to help guide you through what ever change you are facing, your child does not.

[Anonymous]

It took our 2.5yo DD 3 solid weeks to not cry at drop off and pick up. She also transitioned from a small in-home to a preschool setting. Her biggest regression was bedtime. She refused to sleep with her door closed and we spent a solid month sitting outside her door for 10 minutes after saying goodnight. The door had to be open enough for her to see us sitting. This was a dramatic change from our "easy to bed" toddler. We gradually stopped sitting outside her door but now a year later she still sleeps with her door open. It sounds like you're doing all the right things. Our preschool allowed DD to go to the window to wave goodbye to us after we left the building. That seemed to help her during drop-off.

[Anonymous]

Also, he's likely holding it together at school where he doesn't trust the teachers yet (he will in a month once he gets to know them) so he'll cry and carry on more for you (and his other parent) because he trusts you. So, yes, bedtime will be harder. I think I'd start 15 minutes earlier because he's also likely more tired and you will have more time to slow the bedtime routine down a bit - but don't start something you don't want to continue for a lonnnnnggg time, like don't lay in bed with him now. but do read 3 books instead of 2, sit real close or have him on your lap during book reading time, etc.

ALSO - when you get home from preschool, if you can in any way finagle it, do 10-15 minutes of reconnection time - so first thing, head to the livingroom and have 4 books there to read together, snuggled together on the couch. THEN he can get set up with playdough or crayons at the kitchen table while you make dinner, or whatever. Kids need that reconnection time after being separated and so often if you do it first thing, they can then handle the fact that you can't give them attention while you cook.

(if you have a dog, then do the dog's walk first thing and the 2 of you have a chance to talk and catch up and just BE together while you walk the dog) It doesn't have to be reading.