Reconciling with narcissistic parent.

[Anonymous]

After a year of estrangement, I reached out to a mother who I had been no contact with. I find the only way to deal with her behavior is humour, because I just can't see it any other way.

She suggested to me that I move my 4 month old's nursery with our crappy guest room that has minimal light and is next to the garage so that when she stays she can have "more privacy."

Do narcissists ever change, ever? I just can't believe that after all these years it's still the "me me me" mentality with her.

[Anonymous]

Is she coming for a visit? If not, ignore her.

[Anonymous]

If she is coming to visit, put her in garage. A visit sounds like a very very heavy ordeal after a year’s estrangement. Take it slowly.

[Anonymous]

Why did you rekindle the relationship? You sound like you dislike her so what’s the point?

[Anonymous]

Nope, she will never change.

[Anonymous]

Of course she will not change

[Anonymous]

"I'm so glad you can be open and honest about your needs. We think you'll be much more comfortable and happy at a hotel. Here are the numbers and websites for the Ritz and Four Seasons."

[Anonymous]

OP, think long and hard about whether it’s best to include this person in your child’s life.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't do it! I suspect that having a newborn made you start thinking about your mom relationship and that maybe you should give her a chance.i did same after my child was born.

Right now I am trying to recover from a visit that zapped all my energy and made me feel nuts. Also, I think it was confusing and stress for my child (3 yo) who saw mommy and daddy get upset. So, what is this good for?

[Anonymous]

They never change.

[Anonymous]

My NPD parents are in their 80s. No change, incapable of even realizing they need to change.

[Anonymous]

Narcissists never change, don't know why you contacted her.

[Anonymous]

You don’t reconcile with such people. You interact as you would with a neighbor: courteous, with boundaries, rare invitations to visit in your house, if at all. When such people grow old and need help, it gets worse. Do you help or not? My husband helped his father with his medical issues, since he’s a doctor. He let the crazy emotions and comments roll off his back.

[Anonymous]

They will never ever change.
To expect this is to set yourself up for bitter bitter disappointment.
Accept her as she is or don't invite her into your life.

And for god's sake, don't confide in her.

I have a narcissistic mother and I have found my key to remaining sane with her is minimizing contact, keeping conversation light, and going to therapy. Weekly.

Life didn't hand you a supportive mother. If you can swing it, get some therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After a year of estrangement, I reached out to a mother who I had been no contact with. I find the only way to deal with her behavior is humour, because I just can't see it any other way.

She suggested to me that I move my 4 month old's nursery with our crappy guest room that has minimal light and is next to the garage so that when she stays she can have "more privacy."

Do narcissists ever change, ever? I just can't believe that after all these years it's still the "me me me" mentality with her.

So there’s no way you did a year of no contact without some therapy, yes? Yet here you are incredulous that she hasn’t changed. Instead f focusing on her, ask yourself why you keep expecting a different result when nothing else has changed. That’s insanity.