wine as a hostess gift

[Anonymous]

When I bring a bottle of wine to someone's house when I am invited to dinner or a party- are they supposed to open it that night? I never thought so, but read an article in Food and Wine magazine that made it sound as if it is insulting to a guest if a host does not do that. I sometimes open it, and sometimes don't when I am the host. But now I wonder if I should. And if I bring a bottle of white to someone's house, should it be chilled? I am sort of newish to wine, but thought that wine could not be rechilled if it is not drunken the first time it is chilled. If I bring chilled wine, then they have to open it, right? TIA.

[Anonymous]

I am huge on bringing wine as a hostess gift (if I know that the hostess drinks wine). I do admit - I kind of get annoyed when they dont open it with us (I am talking about intimate dinner, not a big party) bc I go out of my way to buy a really good bottle - I do my homework and spend good money on it (usually more than $50) so I want to enjoy it with them and talk about the wine and see if they like it.
I also like it when I bring dessert and it is shared. I bring these things as my contribution to the dinner.

[Anonymous]

Didn't know about the chilled part but usually bring it chilled. Would be nice to open it at the dinner or party. But if they already have plenty of other drinks, including other bottles of wine, which have not been drunk, then I could see why they don't open the one you brought.

[Anonymous]

I usually ask if they want it opened (unless we have something planned and have already opened to breath) and 90% of the time the response is "no" or "it doesn't matter." I think that if you're like PP and you're bringing something nice that you'd like to try, you should tell your hosts ahead of time that you're bringing something special that you'd like to share. That way, it is clear that you'd like the bottle opened and that what you've brought is something special that you'd like to talk about, etc. Of course, this assumes that you know your hosts enough to know that they are interested in wine. If not, all bets are off and I wouldn't bring something that you'd expect to be opened (same with bringing something to a large gathering).

[Anonymous]

I never assume that the wine I bring will be opened that evening. Unless I've coordinated with the hostess ahead of time ("shall I bring the wine for dinner?"), I would never get annoyed that she didn't open it. A couple of reasons...first, it's a hostess gift, not a contribution to the meal. Second, the hostess may have already chosen wine that goes with what she plans to serve that evening and while what I bring might be a wonderful wine (regardless of the price I paid for it), she might prefer to stick with her initial selections. If I brought a beautiful floral arrangement, I wouldn't expect her to remove her table arrangement and replace it with the one I brought, right?

Ideally, wine shouldn't have lots of temperature fluctations, so I would not bring a chilled bottle unless you know it will be opened that night.

[Anonymous]

The Food and Wine article was dead wrong. Read Emily Post. She is quite clear on the matter. And bringing a white chilled is too presumptuous. Never bring a bottle with the thought that it will be served. That said, I would gladly work with someone who contacted me ahead of time and actually knew wine. And if someone actually brought a $50 bottle, I'd gladly open it (if it went with the meal). But the reality is that most people who bring wine and want it opened on the spot bring Yellow Tail or similar. If you bring that, it's going in my cooking wine collection.

[Anonymous]

For a hostess gift, why not a lovely artisan bottle of olive oil or vinegar? E.g., something not to be served but that a cook would appreciate.

[Anonymous]

I found the Food and Wine article annoying and the author is simply wrong, as 18:50 said.

[Anonymous]

I never expect anyone to open wine I bring. Many times the host/hostess has already opened a bottle to let it breathe - or has other beverages in mind for the meals. One neighbors have a large Christmas open house every year. I bring a bottle of wine - but I never would expect them to open it. They provide all the beverages (including wine and beer) for the event.

I look at it as it's a gift - why should I expect to partake in someone else's gift? That seems rude to me.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PPs - I am a frequent hostess, and usually specifically plan the wines that I will serve with dinner. If one of my guests brings something, we do not usually serve it. Nor do we expect people to open our wine if we bring it as a hostess gift

[Anonymous]

If you bring a bottle of wine as a hostess gift, you should not expect it to be opened that evening. I also would hesitate to bring an extra dessert to a dinner party, unless I had coordinated with the hosts in advance. Sometimes what you bring can seem random in connection with the rest of the meal, or sometimes the host will have made a special dessert, and what you bring could clash with that and also take attention away from their dessert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Food and Wine article was dead wrong. Read Emily Post. She is quite clear on the matter. And bringing a white chilled is too presumptuous. Never bring a bottle with the thought that it will be served. That said, I would gladly work with someone who contacted me ahead of time and actually knew wine. And if someone actually brought a $50 bottle, I'd gladly open it (if it went with the meal). But the reality is that most people who bring wine and want it opened on the spot bring Yellow Tail or similar. If you bring that, it's going in my cooking wine collection.

For such an elitist hostess, how good can your food be? You're cooking with Yellow Tail.

I'll save my $50 bottle for a gracious hostess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never expect anyone to open wine I bring. Many times the host/hostess has already opened a bottle to let it breathe - or has other beverages in mind for the meals. One neighbors have a large Christmas open house every year. I bring a bottle of wine - but I never would expect them to open it. They provide all the beverages (including wine and beer) for the event.

I look at it as it's a gift - why should I expect to partake in someone else's gift? That seems rude to me.

I'm in total agreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Food and Wine article was dead wrong. Read Emily Post. She is quite clear on the matter. And bringing a white chilled is too presumptuous. Never bring a bottle with the thought that it will be served. That said, I would gladly work with someone who contacted me ahead of time and actually knew wine. And if someone actually brought a $50 bottle, I'd gladly open it (if it went with the meal). But the reality is that most people who bring wine and want it opened on the spot bring Yellow Tail or similar. If you bring that, it's going in my cooking wine collection.



For such an elitist hostess, how good can your food be? You're cooking with Yellow Tail.

I'll save my $50 bottle for a gracious hostess.


Why is it elitist to have taste? You can get a good bottle of wine at a low cost. But Yellow Tail is not it. Granted, it takes a bit more effort to find a good bottle at that price point. My point is that the guest clearly didn't make that effort. And you can actually find pretty lousy bottles for $50, too.

[Anonymous]

"Why is it elitist to have taste?"? I invite you to re-read that sentence a few times. It is the epitome of elitism. Some people like yellowtail. You're so far above it that you would judge someone ("clearly didn't make an effort") who brought you something they like as a gift? Stunningly tacky on your part.

The food forum used to be so nice. Then you showed up.