Do you love your extended family?

[Anonymous]

I’m curious if I am abnormal or if a lot of people are just overly expressive. I like my extended family - aunts, uncles, cousins, etc., and they are good people, but I don’t have any feeling of love with them or feel like there is any special bond due to us being family. I’m not particularly close with them, so I know that’s part of it, but DH (who is not particularly close with his extended family either) tells me that he loves his whole family. I’m skeptical whether this is real or whether it’s something he says because throughout childhood this was something people talked about a lot and it would seem unacceptable to not feel that way.

Am I crazy/do I have a black heart or does anyone else feel like this? P.s. I love my immediate family.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the person. I’m closer with some, others I see rarely. I wouldn’t say I love them all.

[Anonymous]

There are some I like more than others for sure but I come from two huge irish catholic families and I love most everyone. Lots of my uncles and aunts and cousins I saw frequently in childhood.

I mean I suppose you could say that's just the family culture talking. But what does that really mean? I certainly don't love all my cousins the same way I love DH or my brothers but I love them all the same. I'd show up if they needed me and I believe I love them.

If I was your Dh I would be pretty offended you thought I didnt know my own mind. I think perhaps there is a larger spectrum of love than you think or have experienced.

It's strange to me that you want your Dh to love less people. In my family we always say that you can never have too many people that love and care about you.

[Anonymous]

Some of them, yes. Some of them, no. You know, like...how life is?

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of them, yes. Some of them, no. You know, like...how life is?

Yes, and also whether I grew up with them or not.

[Anonymous]

I love my father's side.

I love the relatives on my mother's side who I've developed relationships with as an adult.

The rest explicitly rejected me as an adult for being gay. I don't really spend a lot of energy on them right now.

[Anonymous]

I adore them! My cousins are some of my best friends. Social media helps us stay in touch with what’s going on so when we see each other we’re all caught up. I am very close to aunts and uncles, second and third cousins, etc. We’ve weathered a lot through the years and they are a source of support and presence to me.

Love my big, Irish family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I adore them! My cousins are some of my best friends. Social media helps us stay in touch with what’s going on so when we see each other we’re all caught up. I am very close to aunts and uncles, second and third cousins, etc. We’ve weathered a lot through the years and they are a source of support and presence to me.

Love my big, Irish family!

x100000

DH's family grew up across the country and he MAYBE saw them once every 5 or 10 years. In fact, DH's family isn't even that close, at all. They reside near each other, but hardly see each other, just a couple times a year, for a couple hours, holidays only. I have to force DH to call his mother for her birthday - his whole family is one big "selfish contest", it is kind of gross.

I am very close to my extended family, so it is VERY different - polar opposite!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I adore them! My cousins are some of my best friends. Social media helps us stay in touch with what’s going on so when we see each other we’re all caught up. I am very close to aunts and uncles, second and third cousins, etc. We’ve weathered a lot through the years and they are a source of support and presence to me.

Love my big, Irish family!

x100000

DH's family grew up across the country and he MAYBE saw them once every 5 or 10 years. In fact, DH's family isn't even that close, at all. They reside near each other, but hardly see each other, just a couple times a year, for a couple hours, holidays only. I have to force DH to call his mother for her birthday - his whole family is one big "selfish contest", it is kind of gross.

I am very close to my extended family, so it is VERY different - polar opposite!

To add, DH's family is extremely judgy and closed - no thanks.

[Anonymous]

Very much so. We were always a close family. My cousins are like siblings. I love my aunts and uncles, too. And I am especially close to my Godmother who isn’t blood-related at all. DH never saw much of his cousins and aunts/uncles growing up but is very close to his grandparents.

Proximity might have the most to do with it. My mother and her three sisters all moved within walking distance of each other’s homes when they were first married so my cousins went to the same schools as my brother and me.

[Anonymous]

I’m The same. It’s not the same as my Parents and siblings.

[Anonymous]

I love some of my cousins more than my siblings and cannot stand others (large family, I know and love many cousins, second cousins, great aunts/uncles, etc).

[Anonymous]

No, maybe my two aunts but not my 4 uncles. Never cross paths with them except a family reunion every couple years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I adore them! My cousins are some of my best friends. Social media helps us stay in touch with what’s going on so when we see each other we’re all caught up. I am very close to aunts and uncles, second and third cousins, etc. We’ve weathered a lot through the years and they are a source of support and presence to me.

Love my big, Irish family!

Me too!

And it’s the Irish side too . Everyone is very close and each generation has done a great job of keeping everyone together, attending milestone bdays, wedding, funerals, and lots of times just fun visits.

Family is everything.