When does sex stop hurting?

Anonymous
10 months postpartum and it still hurts. Sharp pain at first and then gets better. Requires ton of lubrication.

Internet suggests the prolactin from BF is the cause. Does this mean sex will hurt til I stop breastfeeding?
Anonymous
I don't want to discourage you, OP, but for me, it still hurts at first! Three and a half years after DD2 was born. It hurts/we stop, we do some other stuff, we try again and it's bearable, then it "settles in."

Try Replens. Talk to your doctor. Good luck!
Anonymous
Got better when I stopped breastfeeding
Anonymous
6 years out. Still hurts, but I am also on birth control, which kills libido, arousal, and lubrication. Can’t get off birth control because after 2 kids, my periods are very painful. Tried multiple options. Anyways replens 2 times a week, plus a good quality lubricant, plus technique. Watch “ Sleeping with other people “ on Netflix, there is a funny scene where the main character uses a jar to discuss his best move. Wash with warm water prior to sex and massage the perenium for 2-3 minutes. Works for me!
Anonymous
OP, I really encourage you to see a pelvic floor physical therapist. After four months of therapy, things were back to normal.

During breastfeeding, I used estrogen suppositories due to vaginal atrophy. Check with our OB about this.

This was not stuff that came up during the 6-week checkup. I really needed to advocate for myself to get the help I needed. It was worth it!
Anonymous
The day after you stop breastfeeding.
Anonymous
When you stop nursing.
Anonymous
Pelvic PT can help with this.
Anonymous
For me, it stopped hurting when I greatly reduced breastfeeding for pretty much comfort only.
Anonymous
It took about 11 months for me. Breastfeeding made me extremely dry plus I had some scar tissue which hurt. Eventually the scar tissue stretched out or something and stopped hurting and once my DS was eating solids and I was feeding less often, sex got a lot more enjoyable.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The day after you stop breastfeeding.


Pretty much this. With my first, I made an appt with my doctor to talk about it because I was so sure something was wrong. In the few weeks I waited for the appt, I stopped breastfeeding. Lo and behold, it was SO MUCH BETTER.

This is one of the dirty little secrets the Breast is Best crew don't like to talk about. So women feel a lot of shame and hide it or fake it or force it, which can be really damaging emotionally.

Nursing makes sex hurt for MANY women, not all, but many. It's nature's natural child spacing program.

With my 2nd we only tried once and then just waited until I stopped nursing. I also stopped nursing at 7 months partially because of this issue.
Anonymous
It got better for me when my first started eating more solids around a year, even though I continued breastfeeding pretty long, so it wasn't all or nothing. Not sure what I will do for me second, I loved breastfeeding but a year of awful sex is hard on a marriage too.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:6 years out. Still hurts, but I am also on birth control, which kills libido, arousal, and lubrication. Can’t get off birth control because after 2 kids, my periods are very painful. Tried multiple options. Anyways replens 2 times a week, plus a good quality lubricant, plus technique. Watch “ Sleeping with other people “ on Netflix, there is a funny scene where the main character uses a jar to discuss his best move. Wash with warm water prior to sex and massage the perenium for 2-3 minutes. Works for me!


Why doesn't your DH get snipped? It shouldn't always be up to the woman to provide birth control!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:6 years out. Still hurts, but I am also on birth control, which kills libido, arousal, and lubrication. Can’t get off birth control because after 2 kids, my periods are very painful. Tried multiple options. Anyways replens 2 times a week, plus a good quality lubricant, plus technique. Watch “ Sleeping with other people “ on Netflix, there is a funny scene where the main character uses a jar to discuss his best move. Wash with warm water prior to sex and massage the perenium for 2-3 minutes. Works for me!


Why doesn't your DH get snipped? It shouldn't always be up to the woman to provide birth control!


Because she's not using birth control for only pregnancy prevention. She's using it to control a painful period.
Anonymous
30 months PP and still in some mild discomfort. I'm in pelvic floor PT. I wrote about my experience in this thread: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/75/818778.page (8/2/2019, 14:08 pm)

Nothing to do with breastfeeding (or not), everything to do with scar tissue and muscle issues. Believe me, sex did not magically get better when I weaned.
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