my 4 year old is driving me crazy

[Anonymous]

My son is 4 (early april birthday) and he's driving me crazy. He needs a nap but refuses to nap. Yes, we do quiet time, but that isn't enough - I can tell he is tired. We are trying to get him in bed earlier to make up for it, but he won't fall asleep before 8:30, even if he is in bed at 7:30. He has always been an earlier riser and still wakes up between 6-6:30 (usually close to 6), so he's not making up for the sleep in the morning.

He's an angel at camp and when we're out of the house, but when we're home, he spirals so fast. Just yelling and melting down. I'm not sure how to support him through this transition period. He's at camp during the day, so I can't drive him around in the afternoon to get him to sleep or something like that. Any suggestions on how to get through this period?

[Anonymous]

OP what are some examples of things that cause him to melt down? Are they at a consistent time of day?

[Anonymous]

If he’s at camp all day (daycare hours?) then of course he’s going to be exhausted when he gets home.

The only thing you can do is wait for him to get older.

At home try to let him enjoy downtime instead of structuring your time so you’re constantly trying to engage with him. That’s probably a big part of why he takes so long to fall asleep. He’s exhausted but so wired that he can’t calm down.

[Anonymous]

What's your response when he yells at you?

[Anonymous]

I had the same issue with my child. We were consistent that it was not appropriate to yell at some one when he was upset and sent him to his room to calm down. Eventually he out grew it but it was more a time thing then anything. He refused to nap and did not fall asleep easily. But he has always been a crappy sleeper.

Sono realadvice other then hang in there.

I did find that a snack when we got home helped, fruit, granola bar, cheese stick, and some time to decompress (we allowed one episode of a favorite TV show) helped.

[Anonymous]

Put him to bed at 6:30/7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put him to bed at 6:30/7.

Yep, this! My son is 6th months younger and maaaaybe naps once a month. We start his bedtime routine at 6:30, he wakes right around 6am. If you wait too long, the overtired makes it really hard to settle! Also, no tv/screens for at least 2 hours before bed.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is like this and she’s almost 6. I am so tired of it. Nothing works to calm her down in the moment. We’ve tried all the tricks, protein snack after school, downtime/quiet time, taking away treats, trying to validate her feelings. She is just an emotional kid and when she melts down, we just have to wait it out. I hope yours gets better sooner than ours.

[Anonymous]

Kid sounds overwhelmed. He holds it together in public but can't manage the big emotions indefinitely so he melts down at home. A very smart strategy, of you think about it. If you can get him to change into PJs and read him a story for quiet time, might be pass out? Alter, an earlier bedtime also sounds like a great ideaas PPs have mentioned.

[Anonymous]

If he is under 5 his camp should give him a chance to nap.

Try naps on weekends. Start a routine, wash his face with warm water, change him into PJs, lay with him, read a book, use white noise, cool dark room. Make it a routine to nap on weekends. It will help.

The first few times, he might not fall asleep, but keep at it, do not expect fast changes.

[Anonymous]

OP I thought wrote this post and forgot about it in my exhaustion. Just throwing you a Katniss resistance sign because my 4 year old is the same!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he is under 5 his camp should give him a chance to nap.

Try naps on weekends. Start a routine, wash his face with warm water, change him into PJs, lay with him, read a book, use white noise, cool dark room. Make it a routine to nap on weekends. It will help.

The first few times, he might not fall asleep, but keep at it, do not expect fast changes.

Camps for rising K tend not to include a nap because the kids will not be napping in K. It was my sons favorite part of camp that summer. No nap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he is under 5 his camp should give him a chance to nap.

Try naps on weekends. Start a routine, wash his face with warm water, change him into PJs, lay with him, read a book, use white noise, cool dark room. Make it a routine to nap on weekends. It will help.

The first few times, he might not fall asleep, but keep at it, do not expect fast changes.

Camps for rising K tend not to include a nap because the kids will not be napping in K. It was my sons favorite part of camp that summer. No nap.

Understood, but OP's son is not a rising K. He turned 4 in April as I understand it.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the solidarity. To be clear, he is given an opportunity to nap (at camp and at home) but refuses to. We are trying to get him to fall asleep earlier at night, but it seems like no matter what we'll do, he'll toss and turn in bed until he falls asleep at 8:30. His meltdowns are clearly related to being tired, but we're just not finding an effective strategy to get ahead of that given that we work full time out of the house and he's in childcare during the day.

[Anonymous]

We added blackout curtains to my 3 year olds room so now when she goes to bed at 7 it is very dark.