Are all teens selfish or just mine?

[Anonymous]

I've about had it with 16yo DD. She lives completely in her own world and anything asked of her that is not EXACTLY what she wants to be doing results in sighs, eyerolls, and just not doing it. Polite requests, agging, incentives, plaintive pleas, lectures on logic, taking the phone, nothing works. I'm not asking for the world, just empty the freaking dishwasher. Drop your sister at a friends on your way to yours. Clean up the craft crap you pulled out a week ago and didn't put away. WHY DO I HAVE TO ASK MORE THAN ONCE???? She just won't recognize (or care?) that her behavior impacts other people. I'm sooooo dreading school starting and the arguments about grade expectations, doing homework, etc. GRRRRRRR!

(Just venting. Maybe end of summer frustration...?)

[Anonymous]

I think most teens are like this. I was never like this but then again I'd get my ass beat if I didn't obey my parents. Maybe you can starting whooping some ass. No just kidding. This too shall pass. If not, tell them to GET OUT of your house once they're older.

[Anonymous]

How does she have access to a car to go to a friend’s house? Did she buy one with her own money?

Crafts left out? They’d go in a black trash bag and left in her room. Same with clothes and shoes left around.

Not helping out with the household chores? I’d stop cooking for her and buying groceries that she likes. Take the laundry detergent, soaps and shampoos. Let her figure this out.

Consider that you’ve created this.

[Anonymous]

Completely appropriate in terms of development. Doesn't mean there's anything "wrong" with her, but of course you still have to do battle with it.

She'll be out of the nest soon, and in a decade or so she may even be a decent human being again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most teens are like this. I was never like this but then again I'd get my ass beat if I didn't obey my parents. Maybe you can starting whooping some ass. No just kidding. This too shall pass. If not, tell them to GET OUT of your house once they're older.

+1 I never gave my mom these types of problems and I too got my ass beat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most teens are like this. I was never like this but then again I'd get my ass beat if I didn't obey my parents. Maybe you can starting whooping some ass. No just kidding. This too shall pass. If not, tell them to GET OUT of your house once they're older.

+1 I never gave my mom these types of problems and I too got my ass beat.

Okay, so two votes for kicking her butt. Maybe I'll start with a good old fashioned spanking and see if that works (so tempting... )

[Anonymous]

Par for the course.

[Anonymous]

I routinely joke about my teens being "age-appropriately self-centered" but then I occasionally point out to them that it's SADLY NOT all about them.

[Anonymous]

Age appropriate, but you still address like you did when they were toddlers.

[Anonymous]

I was totally like that through age 22.

It’s going to suck when my kids get there (anytime now).

[Anonymous]

I feel your pain. I literally have to remind my step-DD to empty the dishwasher, turn the lights off when she departs. It's like the dishwasher and light switches do not exist in her teenage world!!! She offered to make dinner the other day and made dinner just for herself and my DH, like me and her siblings do not exist. I let my DH address this one and other issues. Where is your DH on this? Maybe she'll be more receptive to him. In our case, ours is..... I just hope it's a temporary "teen" issue and ours ends up being a successful/functioning adult.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, social media and electronics are contributing to this in a huge way.

[Anonymous]

Yup, 16 yo DS is the same way. He has pretty much the entire day to himself, but when he's asked to cut the lawn, clean up the basement that he leaves a mess, what have you, it's the eye rolling, sighing, putting it off and putting it off until I'm ready to explode.

I think it's nature's way of us making us happy to drop them off at college in a couple of years.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a teenager (yet), but I was like this as a teen (sorry, Mom and Dad). Yes, teens are self-centered. I didn't understand just what it took to keep the family/house running (the work my parents did just faded into the background for me) nor did I understand how lucky I was to have the amount of free time teens have. Now I'm on the other side of things -- karma!

So your DD will probably eventually grow up to be a normal functional adult and when she complains to you how her teens do nothing, you can laugh and laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a teenager (yet), but I was like this as a teen (sorry, Mom and Dad). Yes, teens are self-centered. I didn't understand just what it took to keep the family/house running (the work my parents did just faded into the background for me) nor did I understand how lucky I was to have the amount of free time teens have. Now I'm on the other side of things -- karma!

So your DD will probably eventually grow up to be a normal functional adult and when she complains to you how her teens do nothing, you can laugh and laugh.

My mom used to tell my brother and me, "I hope you grow up to have ten just like yourselves!"

It's not just this generation...and it's not just electronics. We had five TV stations and nothing but soap operas on back in the olden days, but we still found ways to complain about and/or avoiding chores.