So what else can we do?

[Anonymous]

Having trouble conceiving, and I know we are able to conceive as evidenced by our two existing children. For each of our first two kids, it was: plan; monitor; sex at fertile time of cycle; positive pregnancy test; baby. This time around it's plan, monitor, sex, negative negative negatives. I have this monitoring thing down to a cold and not particularly appealing science. The sex is like a carpet bombing campaign against the egg that's presumed to be floating around in there somewhere. Yet, negative. Where are we going wrong? What else should we be doing? The only difference between our first two kids and this effort is age and a bit of extra weight - I am now 35 and about 25 pounds overweight, but I don't think that should be killing my fertility.

I do know how fortunate I am to have my two existing kids, and how fortunate we were to have no struggles conceiving them. This time around is totally different though, and I would truly appreciate thoughts from those who have experienced something similar.

[Anonymous]

Okay, but OP, how long has it been? 2 months, 2 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, but OP, how long has it been? 2 months, 2 years?

June was deemed official start time, so we're several cycles in now - I think this latest (negative) is cycle no. 6 since I really started monitoring. Before that we were "eh" with birth control - but not particularly "active" so I doubt conception would have been likely to occur before June when I started really tracking cycles. Since then we've been diligent in our efforts - but nothing to show for it, other than propping up the revenue streams of Clearblue Easy and First Response.

[Anonymous]

Don't know if it makes you feel any better, but my first came very quickly and the second took 8 months of temping, planning, opks etc. Nothing was wrong, it just took longer.
(We're on month 1 of #3, so hopefully this isn't an exponential thing.)

It sounds like you're doing either a fertility monitor or OPKs, which are definitely helpful. Are you taking your temperature, too? What about having sex the day AFTER you supposedly ovulate? Basically, do what you usually do to cover your bases and then do it again on what you think will be a day late (i swear that we got #2 from doing it a day late).

If that's not concrete enough, what about making a dr appt to get checked out? It usually takes months to get in, so by then you might be able to cancel it because you don't need it any more!

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Hey. I'm going through the same thing. I'm 36 and already have children. I've been actively trying (temps, fertility monitor, etc.) for 6 months. No luck as yet so I went ahead and am getting a work-up at Shady Grove Fertility.
I think the standard advice is that if you haven't conceived after 6 months of actively trying and you are over 35, is to get a basic work-up with a fertility specialist. IT doesn't mean you have to jump in and do IVF, but it doesn't hurt to make sure there's nothing going on that's easily fixable.
I think more likely is that as we age the eggs we produce each month aren't as good, so it just takes a bit longer to get it right. I read somewhere that the average conception rate per cycle in a 35 year old woman is only 15%. So I bet it will happen for you in time. It's hard to be patient though, I know.
Try not to worry.

[Anonymous]

I don't think 6 months of trying at age 35 is particularly abnormal. It may mean that your ovarian reserve is just beginning to decrease and that at age 38/39/40 you'll have a really hard time getting pregnant, but at 35 you should be find although it may take a bit longer.

[Anonymous]

Thanks to all who have responded. I appreciate it. I know we're going through *nothing* compared to what others have struggled with, but it's still rather concerning to have gone from insta-fertility to...not. I will look into an appointment with a specialist and consider where to go from there. At this point I'm pretty certain there would be no IVF or similar in our future considering we already have two kids, and the financial burden and emotional rollercoaster wouldn't be great for us. I am very happy with my current family, though it still feels incomplete - but if it ends up being what we get, it's what's we'll get, and I will (and do) feel fortunate for that.

[Anonymous]

I hear you OP. We conceived #1 at 36 on the first month of trying. Now we're 6 months into trying for #2 at 39. It's frustrating because it happened so easily last time. I'm encouraged to hear 22:33's story. I hope that happens for us too!

[Anonymous]

OP, what does your charting say about your luteal phase? Age can affect that and it is often easily fixed.