Feeling very cynical

[Anonymous]

Between my own experiences with men, what I’ve had friends share about theirs, what I see in the media and read on DCUM, I am extremely cynical about relationships. I get hit on by married men all the time. Relationships seem to lead to cheating, resentment, or apathy. Am I wrong to be cynical? I just don’t believe in the love the way I used to and it’s a bummer.

[Anonymous]

No you aren’t wrong. Do you want kids? If not, I definitely wouldn’t get married- not worth it IMHO.

There are lots of great guys out there- there really are. But long term relationships/marriage (even with a great guy) are a huge PITA.

So, I am cynical too.

[Anonymous]

Being single is better. Marriage is only great if it is truly the right person. Otherwise, it sucks. Biggest mistake ever.

[Anonymous]

Counterpoint: Talking about problems makes for good venting and good entertainment. Much like online reviews, you’re not going to hear much about situations that are just fine.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been feeling extremely similarly. You’re not alone. Latest example - one of my closest male friends at work, married 10+ years, and definitely in the “genuinely good guy” camp, got drunk at a work event and “accidentally” ended up with his hand on my ass.

Between multiple proposals from married men, including one instance where he just grabbed my face and shoved his tongue down my throat, I’ve turned so insanely cynical about all men.

They say we’re the weaker sex, but they run around controlled entirely BY sex. Honestly, the only silver lining is that this all makes for easy manipulation if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Want to know the reason you keep getting hit on by married men? Their wives have lost interest. If you are going to judge these men, you must also judge their sexless wives.

[Anonymous]

If a man ventured similar cynical complants, the DCUM reaction would be, "Misogyny, REEEEEEEE!"

[Anonymous]

I had problems with this when younger, but I learned how to give off “hell no, not interested, check yourself” vibes and have had no problems being hit on by married/drunk coworkers since. And I actually spend a fair amount of time around drunk colleagues/coworkers.

And also yes, a lot more people than I would have thought will and do cheat on their spouse. Both genders. But it doesn’t tell me much about marriage generally or my marriage in particular. Everyone has flaws. Everyone experiences temptation. And lots of people sometimes need a friend to stop them from doing something really stupid while hammered. It’s life. Overall, I think it’s pretty good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Want to know the reason you keep getting hit on by married men? Their wives have lost interest. If you are going to judge these men, you must also judge their sexless wives.

That is no excuse. They either need to work it out with theirs wives, or divorce.

Cheating is a total dick move.

[Anonymous]

Lots of dudes keep their hands to themselves and don't cheat on their wives. They're boring which is why you don't hear about them.