WAHM with nanny.

[Anonymous]

I’m interviewing 3 nannies this weekend for a position to start October 1st when I return to work.

I work full time from home but also have field work and meetings at the office I will need to attend.

Can anyone share any positive stories or reassurance. I would still like to be involved and breastfeed even when working from home.

[Anonymous]

Some nannies will turn down a position with a work at home parent, but you can definitely find a good nanny willing to accept. You do need to clearly establish rules - for example, you'll stay out of sight of the baby unless you're breastfeeding or at an otherwise agreed upon time. Once the baby hits the attachment stage (if s/he hasn't yet already) it can be upsetting for mom to pop in and out just when the nanny had the baby settled and content. Another boundary may be that you won't come out and intervene when the baby is crying. The nanny needs to know that she is trusted to be the caretaker and later on authority figure, and is in sole charge of handling problems and meltdowns.

If you set things up the right way, though, it's fabulous! I work from home and have a nanny for our kids. My youngest absolutely refused to take a bottle - we tried everything and couldn't get him to do it. Because I was right there, the nanny just brought him to me when he woke up from naps or was hungry. We got a little bonding and snuggle time, and I didn't have to waste time pumping. I'm sure it also helped keep my supply up. Now that they're a bit older, it's wonderful to come out and have lunch with them, or have my daughter come in and show me some trick or artwork that she's especially proud of (with nanny's permission). So don't stress - this will be great for your family!

[Anonymous]

I work from home and am still nursing. Our wonderful, loving and brilliant nanny has been with us for seven months now and it truly couldn’t be better.

You need to find a nanny who “fits”. Our nanny is just a lovely person to be around and so interesting. She is older and has had a rich, full life. She comes to work early every day with a huge smile on her face and my son lights up when he sees her.

Pretty much from day one, she had my baby on a loose schedule - ex: in the morning there were morning songs and finger rhymes in his room then playtime on the mat in the living room and then a long morning walk. She would bring the baby to me when it was time to nurse and then do baby-related chores like his laundry while I was feeding him. The schedule has evolved as he’s gotten older but my point is that her schedule makes it easier for all three of us in terms of staying out of each other’s way.


You need to find someone you want to spend time with and who is mature enough to carry on with your baby (sing, be silly, etc) even if her boss can hear. For your part, you stay away when you hear your baby cry and let your nanny do her job. Try not to interrupt too much. By the time your baby is six months and vaccinated, let your nanny take him to classes and storytimes as well as to play in the park. Our nanny now has DS out of the house pretty much all morning.

Anyway, long story short - it’s worked out for us better than I ever could have imagined. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Happy to oblige, OP. I was also really worried about this going into our situation - *both* DH and I WAH pretty much full-time and from what you read on some of the nanny boards around here I feared we'd never find anyone at all, and/or that any nanny we got would quickly become irritated by us always being around. But happily it's been no problem at all. We're in a pretty small house, too, and don't have a separate playroom or anything. DH has an office upstairs that you have to pass to get to our toddler's room and he prefers to work with his door open, and my office is off the kitchen and although there's a door between the rooms, there's a window in it (weird, I know, but it came that way with the house and we haven't replaced it yet) so when our nanny and toddler sit at the table we can all stare at each other if we so desire.

Yet it all works just fine. I mean, most of the day we're working, and nanny's working, and we're all doing our own appropriate things and not interfering with one another. I do often run into toddler/nanny when I'm getting lunch or a drink or what have you and it's so nice to be able to give my kid a hug at those times. And when they're playing something fun DH or/or I'll even sometimes come join for a few minutes, like the first time we set up our water table for the season. Our nanny told me she enjoys it, because a) she thinks it's nice for parents to get to see their kids during the day, and b) she gets some occasional adult interaction with us which makes for a nice change now and again. Depending on the phase our DD has been going through, there have been a few occasions where she's been upset to see me or DH and then have us go back to work, but what can you do. It has never bothered our nanny, who takes it all in stride as part of, well, being a nanny. Although I am a shy person and was nervous about having someone in my home, it really is true that she's become part of the family, like a sister or even a mother figure in some ways (she is an older nanny and has raised a lot more kids than I ever will!). I didn't breastfeed but I cannot imagine she would have been anything but supportive if I did so while she was on duty. And while she's really wonderful, I don't think she's unique as a nanny in this way or anything.

So yes, it can work! I also know other families in our neighborhood with situations similar to ours, where one or both parents often work from home while the nanny's there. I think it's becoming much more common, especially around here, so may not seem as odd and therefore uncomfortable to nannies as it used to. I mean, obviously no one wants an employer following them around and breathing down their neck, but those of us who work from home are...working! So it's not like we're interfering with our nanny, and she's definitely in charge when she's here - I would suppose that is the one place where some parents and nannies may get into conflicts.

[Anonymous]

I telework every other day but pump even on my telework days because that way we have fresh bottles for my days in the office. I can also participate in conference calls and type on my computer while I'm pumping; I can't do this nursing and I don't have control over my meeting schedule. We were open about telework during hiring and found a great nanny who was ok with it. We're in an apartment and I try to stay out of her hair while I'm at home.

[Anonymous]

The key to success is self-discipline. Stick to a strict schedule. Hopefully you have a nearby bathroom without disrupting the nanny from her routine.

Your baby doesn’t care at this early stage, but soon enough parents at home become a huge issue for most children.

[Anonymous]

I wah and have had a nanny for almost 5 years. The key is I don’t micromanage. If I hear crying, I stay in my office and trust the nanny. I also often tell my nanny do what you’d do if I wasn’t here when she catches me in the kitchen and asks if she can take the kids out. It can be really nice for the nanny too like if one kid is sick, she doesn’t have to drag that kid to pick up and I’ve also watched one kid while she takes the other to the playground etc. and really good nannies won’t mind it. Just don’t be a pita )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wah and have had a nanny for almost 5 years. The key is I don’t micromanage. If I hear crying, I stay in my office and trust the nanny. I also often tell my nanny do what you’d do if I wasn’t here when she catches me in the kitchen and asks if she can take the kids out. It can be really nice for the nanny too like if one kid is sick, she doesn’t have to drag that kid to pick up and I’ve also watched one kid while she takes the other to the playground etc. and really good nannies won’t mind it. Just don’t be a pita )

Forgot to mention - my kids know when the nanny is here she’s in charge. They are used to it and very rarely try to find me (only when sick and then I don’t mind)

[Anonymous]

I’ve worked for several WAH parents. I think the key is finding someone you click with and also hiring an adult who is confident and capable. Someone younger or more unsure of her role may have trouble navigating.