Family thinks I will go back with cheating ex.
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Anonymous
| I was with my ex for many years and we would constantly be breaking up. He is a liar and a cheater and I forgave him so many times. Recently, I knew enough was enough. I left him. It’s understandable how my family thinks this time is not any different. Other times I would leave him and go back to him. Now, I have really stood up for myself and stopped this once and for all. I can’t say or do anything without my family scrutinizing the fact that I’m weak and I’ll probably go back to him. I completely understand that they’re basing their assumptions on past behaviors and actions and it’s totally fair. However, it’s getting quite old. They ALWAYS bring up the fact that I’m going to go back to him and keep ruining my life with him. Has anyone experienced this? I feel so attacked and again it’s only fair for them to question and wonder. |
Anonymous
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It depends....
How long has it been since you ended it with him? When was the last time you talked with him/had contact? |
Anonymous
1 month since I left and no contact since the day I moved out of our shared place. |
Anonymous
One month?!? Come on. I’m an internet stranger who’s only heard your side of the story and I don’t believe you. The only way you prove them wrong is by not getting back together with the ex. It really is that simple. |
Anonymous
You dont believe what? |
Anonymous
Come on, OP. It’s been a month and you’re bothered by your family questioning whether this break-up is legit. That’s hardly any time at all. If you still have had no contact with him whatsoever by February 2020 and they’re still bugging you, come back and we’ll give you support and language to shut it down. Until then, you’ve got to just smile and nod politely. Your past history of getting back together has given them great pause to believe this time is for real. What you need is for much more time to pass before they can trust you’re really done. |
Anonymous
| Time will solve this problem. Tell them you don’t want to talk about it whenever they bring it up. |
Anonymous
| Quit arguing with them to convince them this time it's for real. Just nod and say, "I understand why you think that. This is really hard, but I'm proud I've made it [a month, six months, a year] with no contact." |
Anonymous
This is the better advice. You don't have to just eat shit from your family when they are trying to basically put you down for your bad choices in the past. I mean how do they think that's productive in keeping you away? Sorry you have to deal with this OP. Shut their conversation about it down. Find support about this issues elsewhere and then move on with good family realtionships once you are healed up |
Anonymous
You said it yourself. It is fact that you’re going to go back to him. Give it a year and if they are still bringing it up, advise them to move on. If it makes you so angry, use that as fuel to ensure that you do NOT go back to him. They do not think you are stupid or lack conviction, they are just scared and frustrated for you. |
Anonymous
I don’t believe that you’ll stay away from him. |
Anonymous
| I would cuss my family right out for this, it wouldn't work for me at all! |
Anonymous
| Set the boundary that you’re not discussing it, then follow through. End the conversation, hang up the phone, leave the room. Just don’t talk about it. |
Anonymous
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Stay the course.
Stay the course. Stay the course. Ignore literally everyone. |
Anonymous
This. And, good for you, op. You only get to live this life once. You deserve better and you have finally realized it. |