Sleepover bedtime

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old son and his friends have lots of sleepovers. Tonite at my house. I told kids to wrap it up at 1am and shit down the gaming. That’s 4 hours of gaming. He argues non stop.
Not like this is one time slumber party. They do sleepovers a lot. So I don’t feel bad telling him 1am.
Fair or am I being over bearing.

[Anonymous]

1 am is fair but its not 1 am yet.

[Anonymous]

Correct- but I’m going to bed. So I told him to shut down at 1. He is arguing with me they want to stay up later.

[Anonymous]

I am never shy about saying "Well, you don't get everything you want."

[Anonymous]

Give a time for things to be quiet and go to bed. If you can sleep through it, they are quiet enough.

[Anonymous]

At 14, with friends over, during the summer, you are mandating a bedtime? Why?

You will find they won't hang out at your house in the future.

Let them stay up as late as they want - it's SUMMER!!!

[Anonymous]

I’d tell him 2 sleep overs a month and he can stay up as late as they want or everything off and in bed by 1. I’m a huge believer in the negative impact of sleep deprivation. Tween/teens have a hard time self regulating this. You need to either limit the frequency of it or their bedtime

[Anonymous]

Did they have to get for anything today? I don’t give my DD and her friends a bedtime but the rule is they can’t wake me or anyone else in the house up. The other trade off is sleepovers are infrequent since she is tired the next day.

[Anonymous]

Kids is 13y. For routine sleepovers, the internet goes off at 11pm (they have had hours of gaming time.) By the time they wind down its close to midnight. Parents don't mind kids spending the night with us, because they know they won't get a zombie in return in the morning.

For special occasions (birthday party, etc) its 1ish.

[Anonymous]

I don't think 14 year olds need a bedtime (but they can't disturb anyone else), so i think you are being overbearing. However, it's your house; you can do what you want.

[Anonymous]

OP, bottom line, you're kid needs to follow whatever rules you set forth and without arguing. I will say however, that I think this bedtime rule for a 14-year-old is ridiculous (especially when he's having friends over for a sleepover).

[Anonymous]

It's only ridiculous if you place a low-value on sleep. If you see sleep as essential to kids' health (which I do) am grateful for any parent who sets and enforces a sleepover bedtime! And OP is talking about 1 am, not 10 pm. IMO that's more than reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's only ridiculous if you place a low-value on sleep. If you see sleep as essential to kids' health (which I do) am grateful for any parent who sets and enforces a sleepover bedtime! And OP is talking about 1 am, not 10 pm. IMO that's more than reasonable.

How many parents enforce bedtime to freshman in high school in the summer who are having sleepovers if they are not disturbing others? Enforcing bedtime because you value sleep is different than telling rowdy teens to quiet down. Don’t host or have your child attend sleepovers if you value a solid night of sleep this much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think 14 year olds need a bedtime (but they can't disturb anyone else), so i think you are being overbearing. However, it's your house; you can do what you want.

Agree. 14 yo DS. During the summer we end up with 1-2 sleepovers a week (1-2 a month during school). I don't enforce a bedtime for sleepovers but if I notice my son is starting to get grumpy or is excessively tired during the day I say no to the sleepovers for awhile, and 'shut it down' time is 10PM meaning internet goes off and phone is put away. I don't tell him he HAS to go to sleep, but with no electronics and a sleepy ked this usually ends up resulting in an early night for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think 14 year olds need a bedtime (but they can't disturb anyone else), so i think you are being overbearing. However, it's your house; you can do what you want.

Agree. 14 yo DS. During the summer we end up with 1-2 sleepovers a week (1-2 a month during school). I don't enforce a bedtime for sleepovers but if I notice my son is starting to get grumpy or is excessively tired during the day I say no to the sleepovers for awhile, and 'shut it down' time is 10PM meaning internet goes off and phone is put away. I don't tell him he HAS to go to sleep, but with no electronics and a sleepy ked this usually ends up resulting in an early night for him.

And I should have said that all goes out the window if they wake me up. We have a strict NO WAKING DAD rule since I need to be up in the morning so they usually have to quiet down by 11 when I go to bed amyway.