Changing schools (going from private to public)--has your family gone through this?

[Anonymous]

We are seriously considering transitioning our kids from private to public school. Our local public schools are excellent, and we are eager to be more a part of our local community. DH and I really want to work fewer hours (and thus take pay cuts) and free up more time to do cool stuff with our kids. DCs are both very outgoing and friendly, and based on experiences on vacation, at camp and other places where they've been forced to make new friends, I'm pretty sure my kids will do fine. I'm concerned about DH and me, though!

Wondering if those who have gone through a similar transition can share their experiences with making new fellow-parent friends, and how long before you felt "at home" in your new school? Through lots of volunteer work at the school, DH and I have made many friends in our current school, and would need to start over with our new school. I'm also concerned that people will make [incorrect] assumptions about us [that we're snobs, for example] because of where we came from.

I'd love to hear from anyone who's gone through this! TIA

[Anonymous]

I'm sure it depends on the school, but at our public school, you'd be welcomed with open arms--I think most people would feel flattered that you'd chosen our school over a private because it validates our sense that it is a great place. Unless you're given off vibes of regret or concern, or seem to be openly comparing the two schools, I can't imagine you'd have many problems.

[Anonymous]

That would be my concern. That is folks at new public school saying, ha!
But if I were you OP, I would get one story and stick to it. People are going to be oh so curious. There is nothing wrong with saying that you liked all the things the private school offered, but you also wanted to work less. You are under no obligation to praise public school or trash private school though.

[Anonymous]

We have one child in public and one in private, and I agree with the first PP that you'll find most public school parents quite welcoming. I wouldn't worry about people being "oh so curious" -- as the second PP put it --; most people understand that there's no pure play on the public/private decision and won't be looking for a way to leverage your move as an opportunity to one-up you. Nor would I follow the advice to tell people that you liked the private school, but wanted to work fewer hours; in effect, you'd be saying that you're willing to settle for second-best -- not exactly an openjng to friendship. Again, I think most people aren't even going to ask you why you switched schools, but if you're asked, why not say "We heard a lot of good things about the public school and wanted to be more involved in our n-hood." These are reasons that will resonate with most public school parents who made their choice for exactly those reasons.

[Anonymous]

public schools are defined by shifting populations...people move in to the area, people move out
I doubt anyone will be too curious about where you are transferring from...

[Anonymous]

There are a couple kids in my DD's class this year who switched in from a private school this year. I can't imagine that people would be curious in the "Ha Ha" kind of way that PP implied. I think most people get that life and circumstances change and that what was good one year is not good another. Honestly, I don't think most people really care that much about other people's decisions and those that do, well do you really care what they think anyway? Also, there's no way that I as a parent can keep track of the kids in my kid's 500 kid elementary school. There are always kids in her class/school that are new every year. Some move in, some transfer in, some kids leave, classes rearrange, etc.

[Anonymous]

Oh goodness do it, no one's going to pry. How old are your children? The older they get, the harder it is to make new friends. So that's a practical consideration. We started in public, are currently in private, but will probably go back to public.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the feedback. Are volunteering and getting involved with the Parents Association reliably good ways to meet other parents?

[Anonymous]

If you have a child in elementary, volunteer to work with the room parents. Also volunteer to go on field trips if you can swing that. I always focus on my child's grade first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the feedback. Are volunteering and getting involved with the Parents Association reliably good ways to meet other parents?

Yes, our PTA is active and puts on lots of events. I'd find one you're particularly interested in and that will require a team of people. Regular PTA meetings can also be a way to meet people. The first PTA meeting of the year at our school is huge since it kicks off back-to-school night. But in subsequent PTA meetings, we usually have about 15-20 people, so it wouldn't take long to become a fixture at them!

[Anonymous]

In addition to official school group ssuch as the PTA, I'd suggest finding out what sports teams the kids in your child's class are on, and where they swim.

It seems to me that a lot of socializing and chatting and passing of information goes on among parents who are watching their children play soccer, or hanging out at the swim club/pool.

[Anonymous]

The PTA is a reliable way to meet the set of parents who are into that. It is worth joining, but don't stress if it isn't your thing.

We became more involved in sports - not just watching, but coaching, etc, and offering to throw the end-of-season parties. We also make a point of inviting families over for pizza if our kids seem to like each other.

Also, don't trash either school or the people in them - people will try to make you do so, but don't. Be open to the differences, be a good sport, and you will be fine.