Leaving kids with ILs for the first time

[Anonymous]

Next weekend is DH’s and my 10 year anniversary and we really want to go away but typically have no one to watch our kids. One is 4 years and one is 3 months. My in laws have offered to let us bring the kids to stay over for one night so we can do something special. It’s a really nice offer but they never wanted to babysit when we had just one kid and I would not say they are typically very hands on with the kids when we do see them. Clearly they raised two kids of their own and kept them alive so I don’t have concerns from a safety standpoint, just not sure it will be a pleasant experience for anyone.

Would you agree to leave the kids for just one night so say no? So torn.

[Anonymous]

Does the 4 year old like them well enough? I absolutely would. You said you don't have any safety concerns. So what if they are not very hands on for one night. If they are hands on enough to feed them and keep them healthy and safe I'd be fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Are you trying to rationalize not wanting to leave your kid?Personally, I wasn't ready to leave my kids at 3 months with anyone. But if you WANT to and you have no safety concerns, go ahead.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's fine.

[Anonymous]

Does the 3 month old sttn and you're not nursing anymore? I have a champ baby who sttn, but it still would have been hard. Mine weren't fans of bottles though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly they raised two kids of their own and kept them alive so I don’t have concerns from a safety standpoint, just not sure it will be a pleasant experience for anyone.

How long ago did they have a 3-month-old and a preschooler? And how are their energy levels compared to that time?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t, but you do you.

[Anonymous]

Have your kids stayed over there before with you or would it be the first time they've spent the night there ever?

Even if the 3MO is STTN, a change of location/people may disrupt that, are your ILs prepared for multiple night wakings?

[Anonymous]

To answer a couple questions, we have slept at my ILs house many times but DH and I are always there - the kids are never alone. We would probably go one night before to help them get settled. The older one is pretty comfortable with them, I am just worried about the baby. As of now she just wakes up once per night around 4/5am to eat. My mother in law claims she can handle that but I don’t think it will be super pleasant for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To answer a couple questions, we have slept at my ILs house many times but DH and I are always there - the kids are never alone. We would probably go one night before to help them get settled. The older one is pretty comfortable with them, I am just worried about the baby. As of now she just wakes up once per night around 4/5am to eat. My mother in law claims she can handle that but I don’t think it will be super pleasant for her.

It's one night. She said she'd be fine. Why wouldn't you believe her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To answer a couple questions, we have slept at my ILs house many times but DH and I are always there - the kids are never alone. We would probably go one night before to help them get settled. The older one is pretty comfortable with them, I am just worried about the baby. As of now she just wakes up once per night around 4/5am to eat. My mother in law claims she can handle that but I don’t think it will be super pleasant for her.

I think they romanticize how easy it is to get up at 4/5 with a baby.

can your inlaws come stay at your house instead? That's what my parents do and it makes everything infinitely easier for everyone. Kids are better behaved, there's toys, food they like, etc.

[Anonymous]

Why not? They will probably not offer again after this night! Use it up!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't. I was not comfortable leaving my 3 month old with anyone but my husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To answer a couple questions, we have slept at my ILs house many times but DH and I are always there - the kids are never alone. We would probably go one night before to help them get settled. The older one is pretty comfortable with them, I am just worried about the baby. As of now she just wakes up once per night around 4/5am to eat. My mother in law claims she can handle that but I don’t think it will be super pleasant for her.

It's one night. She said she'd be fine. Why wouldn't you believe her?

+1

Waking at four am isn’t pleasant for any adult. We do it because we love the baby. It’s just one night and MIL can take a nap or go to bed early if she is tired. Is this the real reason you are hesitating, OP?

[Anonymous]

I'm fine leaving my kids with my IL's for a couple of nights. It's much easier for everyone if my IL's stay at our house.