I lost it today

[Anonymous]

My husband is traveling and I have a toddler and an almost toddler. They both go to day care but mornings and evenings are brutal. This weekend has been awful- my three year old has had several tantrums a day, and just been a freaking nightmare. The almost toddler is an easy kid so no complaints there.

Today, I got a sitter for a few hours and the three year old flipped out- yelling, screaming and crying. Later during bath time, there was another massive- and I mean massive- tantrum. I tried soothing and ignoring but she just worked herself into raging hysterics. After half an hour, I gave her a tight slap and she stopped screaming and started sobbing quietly and settled.

I’m so ashamed that I slapped my kid. I’m also wondering if my kid needs help- no speech delays, otherwise articulate and good learner.

[Anonymous]

Yikes, I'm so sorry. Does your kid do that often? Of yes, then maybe get some help to help her manage frustrations. If these was a rare event because your spouse is away, I wouldn't seek help unless it became more of a pattern

[Anonymous]

I thought you were going to ask if you needed help. Your kid seems a normal toddler.

[Anonymous]

Where did you slap her? If it was a one time on the bottom, forgive yourself and you two hug it out.

[Anonymous]

Whether your child is developing typically or has extra needs, there's no shame in saying that you need additional tools in your parenting toolbox. I recommend Dan Shapiro's parent Child Journey or pep.

[Anonymous]

Hugs op. That was by far the hardest stage of my life. I didn’t hit, but I squeezed my preschoolers arm hard once and it scared the heck out of me.

Get more help. Whatever you can afford. Ask your family or friends to step in. I wish I had asked for more help.

[Anonymous]

So she just lost most of parents' attention because there's a new baby, she just lost her father permanently (in her mind) because he's traveling, and now she lost you for the day too and you hand her over to a babysitter? And she's a toddler? And you're surprised she didn't respond well?

Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she just lost most of parents' attention because there's a new baby, she just lost her father permanently (in her mind) because he's traveling, and now she lost you for the day too and you hand her over to a babysitter? And she's a toddler? And you're surprised she didn't respond well?

Sigh.

Ugh. The younger child is not a baby. Stop with this horrible guilting. Stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she just lost most of parents' attention because there's a new baby, she just lost her father permanently (in her mind) because he's traveling, and now she lost you for the day too and you hand her over to a babysitter? And she's a toddler? And you're surprised she didn't respond well?

Sigh.

The op is clearly upset about what happened and how she dealt with things. She knows it was wrong. She’s reaching out for help. Screw toy for heaping it on. How was this helpful?? I hope you’re more positive in real life.

[Anonymous]

You were wrong to hit your child. You need to apologize for what you did and explain what happened and how bad you feel.

I know children are exhausting and trying in ways we never thought possible. They can stand and then jump on your last nerve. But there is never a reason to strike or physically hurt a three year old. You need to get in help - family, friends or hired babysitters (whether you can afford it or not). What you did today was wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and I have a toddler and an almost toddler. They both go to day care but mornings and evenings are brutal. This weekend has been awful- my three year old has had several tantrums a day, and just been a freaking nightmare. The almost toddler is an easy kid so no complaints there.

Today, I got a sitter for a few hours and the three year old flipped out- yelling, screaming and crying. Later during bath time, there was another massive- and I mean massive- tantrum. I tried soothing and ignoring but she just worked herself into raging hysterics. After half an hour, I gave her a tight slap and she stopped screaming and started sobbing quietly and settled.

I’m so ashamed that I slapped my kid. I’m also wondering if my kid needs help- no speech delays, otherwise articulate and good learner.

You child doesn’t need help, OP, you do (that sounds glib and I apologize but it is true). You could have left the room when she started her tantrum and ignored her. You need to learn how to ride out tantrums and stop taking them personally. You need help getting your expectations in line with her age.

You were wrong to strike a little kid for basically being a little kid. You need some parenting guidance.

[Anonymous]

Three was honestly the hardest age, by far, for my oldest. He is a generally easy going kid, and always was, but turned into a rage beast at 3. He had a few tantrums like that at that age. I remember one where he was tantruming so hard it was as if he had a break from reality. I admit I slapped him then and it broke his tantrum. That was the only time I ever did that. I tell you this to reassure you that it will be okay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and I have a toddler and an almost toddler. They both go to day care but mornings and evenings are brutal. This weekend has been awful- my three year old has had several tantrums a day, and just been a freaking nightmare. The almost toddler is an easy kid so no complaints there.

Today, I got a sitter for a few hours and the three year old flipped out- yelling, screaming and crying. Later during bath time, there was another massive- and I mean massive- tantrum. I tried soothing and ignoring but she just worked herself into raging hysterics. After half an hour, I gave her a tight slap and she stopped screaming and started sobbing quietly and settled.

I’m so ashamed that I slapped my kid. I’m also wondering if my kid needs help- no speech delays, otherwise articulate and good learner.

You child doesn’t need help, OP, you do (that sounds glib and I apologize but it is true). You could have left the room when she started her tantrum and ignored her. You need to learn how to ride out tantrums and stop taking them personally. You need help getting your expectations in line with her age.

You were wrong to strike a little kid for basically being a little kid. You need some parenting guidance.

Actually, a 30-minute long tantrum is not necessarily within the realm of standard kid behavior. Not that it indicates delay - just a kid who's a little extra. While I don't believe in hitting, I also don't believe in denying the extreme stress that a tantrum like that can cause (especially with another baby in the house and husband away.) If the child is consistently tantruming like that, I'd absolutely get some support from a reputable therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and I have a toddler and an almost toddler. They both go to day care but mornings and evenings are brutal. This weekend has been awful- my three year old has had several tantrums a day, and just been a freaking nightmare. The almost toddler is an easy kid so no complaints there.

Today, I got a sitter for a few hours and the three year old flipped out- yelling, screaming and crying. Later during bath time, there was another massive- and I mean massive- tantrum. I tried soothing and ignoring but she just worked herself into raging hysterics. After half an hour, I gave her a tight slap and she stopped screaming and started sobbing quietly and settled.

I’m so ashamed that I slapped my kid. I’m also wondering if my kid needs help- no speech delays, otherwise articulate and good learner.

A good swat is sometimes the only thing that works. Stop feeling guilty. She shut up, didn't she, so it worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A good swat is sometimes the only thing that works. Stop feeling guilty. She shut up, didn't she, so it worked.

This is horrible logic and dangerous advice.