Why are people proud of their kids being quiet with screens?

[Anonymous]

There was a discussion here a week ago about kids who stay on a screen during a visit "being good" and what that means. I think it's clear that a lot of people think of any behavior that's not destructive or actively annoying as "being good," so that's part of it-- a kid quietly using a screen and doing nothing else is deemed "good" by a lot of people. Fine.

But I also know a lot of people who seem to be proud of the behavior, and I don't really get it.

I don't mean proud of what they might be learning. I might not be personally impressed, or think it's worth the drawbacks, but it isn't illogical to me for a parent to brag about how their kid learned the difference between moths and butterflies from a nature show, or how he learned to read CAC words from an iPad app. That makes a sort of sense.

But what I mean are parents who think the kid is really doing something brag-worthy by simply being quiet and unobtrusive while using a screen in a public place, or on a long trip, or whatever. Do they think it takes willpower or some sort of extraordinary skill to be absorbed in a screen? I mean-- does it take special skill? It seems to me that this skill is possessed by the vast majority of kids, but maybe that's a sign of progress as a species? Or something?

[Anonymous]

This is the same post from last week. Who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the same post from last week. Who cares?

+1

[Anonymous]

How was Larla on the flight?

Good.

It’s not a brag, it’s and answer to a question.

[Anonymous]

We already went over this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How was Larla on the flight?

Good.

It’s not a brag, it’s and answer to a question.

No it’s not just the post from last week because it sometimes IS a brag. Or seems to be. That’s really narrowly what this post is about.

“My kids are so good at restaurants, they sit so quietly, my mom is really impressed at how mature they are for their ages.”

“My kid can watch three movies in a row! I can’t believe his attention span!”

I have a couple of friends like this. They’re not just saying good as in not causing problems, but as in they are demonstrating an advanced skill.

[Anonymous]

*or a positive comment on their own parenting— “I know how to keep MY kids under control.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How was Larla on the flight?

Good.

It’s not a brag, it’s and answer to a question.

No it’s not just the post from last week because it sometimes IS a brag. Or seems to be. That’s really narrowly what this post is about.

“My kids are so good at restaurants, they sit so quietly, my mom is really impressed at how mature they are for their ages.”

“My kid can watch three movies in a row! I can’t believe his attention span!”

I have a couple of friends like this. They’re not just saying good as in not causing problems, but as in they are demonstrating an advanced skill.

Well, parents brag about all kinds of weird things, from the fact that their kid eats Cheddar Bunnies vs. Goldfish, sleeps 12 hours straight, or has never ever seen a screen. If you don’t agree with whatever is being said, move along. Do you really need to judge? It doesn’t change what you’re doing in your life, so why do you care?

[Anonymous]

Who cares!!!!! You raise YOUR kids how you want and stop being so judgemental on how other people raise their kids. Shall we sit here and judge all of your parenting choices or pick apart your brags about your kids?

[Anonymous]

a coworker (who has maybe seen one of my kids once when he was a baby?) told me she was really concerned that my kids (2 and 4) have never watched anything on a screen. How else are they going to learn to sit still and be quiet she wanted to know? She is certain I am causing great damage by delaying their introduction to screens as her kids, similar ages, will happily watch several full length movies one after the other.

[Anonymous]

I've never heard anyone brag about their child's ability to watch a show or play a game unless it's like "Larlo is super advanced at video game X". If anything, people I know are embarrassed if they have to use a screen to keep their kid quiet. I know it's an act of desperation for me (so like airplanes = hell yeah they're watching a movie).

[Anonymous]

Parents brag about all sorts of things that have nothing do with skills/abilities.

Eye color
Sleep habits
Weight
Height
Hair
"Early reading" (whatever that is)
Daily pooping


Haven't you figured this out yet? If you want to brag too about something inane, just hop on the bandwagon. Choose the fact that your child does not like Oreos or something that you have absolutely no control over, and brag about it.

[Anonymous]

Kids are “good” on a screen on airplanes. Pretty much everywhere else they are just zombies. Had company at my house all week and I couldn’t believe how much those kids weee on tablets. Four year old has his own. Every morning starts with the TV on and also playing on phone or tablets eating breakfast. Every car ride over 15 min-tablets. And spare me the “she has special needs” guess what that screen is making it worse! I let me kid watch some TV but never have any kind of screen at the table. And I’m a half ass parent at best and fully admit that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:a coworker (who has maybe seen one of my kids once when he was a baby?) told me she was really concerned that my kids (2 and 4) have never watched anything on a screen. How else are they going to learn to sit still and be quiet she wanted to know? She is certain I am causing great damage by delaying their introduction to screens as her kids, similar ages, will happily watch several full length movies one after the other.

Ugh. So depressing.

[Anonymous]

I see a lot of educated parents taking the easy way out by placating their kids with screens 24/7. I’m not against a little judicious screen time, but that should not be the default activity. I’m shocked that they haven’t read about the long-term effects