How hard is this going to be?!

[Anonymous]

Mom of two kids, DS is a rising first grader and DD is 3.5. I have decided to go back to school full time, the program will take me about 2 years. I have always been a working mom, so I am a pretty nervous about the transition. I am pulling DD from full time care and putting her in part day preschool program that she will attend MWF. I’d love any tips or suggestions on how I can transition into this new role as smoothly as possible.

[Anonymous]

I would keep her in full-time day care as its going to be hard to study with her home.

[Anonymous]

My DH went back to school when our second kid was a few months old. He had a lot of late nights but was around a lot still. Honestly, a lot of the childcare ended up falling to me at that point. I did almost every weekend solo. So if you have a supportive spouse, you will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Are you thinking you will be able to study with 3.5 yo at home ? You will be cleaning and feeding and child caring and then your second will be home and need help and then it will be dinner time. If you are willing to do schoolwork late nights and weekends and your dh can take the kids solo every weekend then you might get by. But frankly you will probably save more money (and maybe sanity/marriage) in the long run by keeping the LO in daycare so you can focus on school during the day. You will get it done faster and get back to earning sooner.

If you really just want to spend more time with your LO, then that’s a different game plan. Can’t have it both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you thinking you will be able to study with 3.5 yo at home ? You will be cleaning and feeding and child caring and then your second will be home and need help and then it will be dinner time. If you are willing to do schoolwork late nights and weekends and your dh can take the kids solo every weekend then you might get by. But frankly you will probably save more money (and maybe sanity/marriage) in the long run by keeping the LO in daycare so you can focus on school during the day. You will get it done faster and get back to earning sooner.

If you really just want to spend more time with your LO, then that’s a different game plan. Can’t have it both ways.

This. People think SAHM don’t do anything all when when in reality, they’re doing everything you pay for childcare to do.

[Anonymous]

You're doing it wrong. Education is a job. If it's a program worth doing, it will take 8 hours a day of your time for class, studying, homework, and internships. Your kid should stay in FT care. Having her in PT care three days a week means you'd get a grand total of something like SIX hours to study each week, between pickup and drop-off.

[Anonymous]

I got my masters degree when my kids were little. Started when my youngest was 1.5 and oldest was 6, finished at 3.5 and 8.

You’re going to have to figure out time to do work when they are asleep. For me, I just started getting up early and to this day I am up by 4 am each day. It might be late at night for you. There are sometimes you’ll HAVE to work when they’re awake, but it’s critical you also set aside time when they aren’t so you can actually concentrate and give them undivided attention when they need you.

Accept you’ll need to bring your computer on trips and work on stuff in the car, at the hotel. I had to go upstairs and do remote proctored exams on every trip we took for 2 years. I had to work on papers while on trips. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

My first was born when I was a little more than halfway through my PhD. I was done with coursework but still had a little data collection to finish (plus analyzing & writing). I did not use full time childcare. I worked from home, especially when he napped and after he went to bed. When I needed to be on campus, I hired undergrads to watch him on campus for a few hours at a time. I finished when he was 2.5.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the comments that you need childcare if you're going to be in school full-time. Is the part-time program all day on MWF? If so, you might be able to make it work if you do coursework in the evenings and on weekends (you'll need a babysitter or spouse to watch the kids then). If it's a half-day on MWF, you need WAY more.

I work PT and have kids the same age as yours. My youngest is in half-day preschool every weekday. I do during that time (frantically trying to fit everything in and always feeling like it's hard to focus because I know I have to stop and go pick him up), and then in the evenings and some on weekends. I always feel like it's a struggle to get things done and am always behind. Plus, I feel guilty not hanging out on the weekends (especially because that's the main time when I get to see my older kid).

Yes, I get to do drop-off and pick-up without aftercare, and I do spend wonderful afternoons with my youngest before picking the older up from school. It totally works, but I could never do it without my kid being in preschool daily, and it requires a lot of evening/weekend work.

Also remember that if you plan to work in the evenings, it means you likely won't be able to do the bedtime routine some or much of the time.

[Anonymous]

Keep the full time daycare. Then it should be doable.

[Anonymous]

I don't see any mention of your marital status or your husband or partner's schedule and level of contribution to child care and child rearing, and how he/she plans to step that up when you go to school.

[Anonymous]

I think it really depends on the program. If its one of these easy online "degrees" I'm sure you could knock it out in a few hours a week.

[Anonymous]

I went to law school at night and worked full time during the day. I had about two hours of studying each day between work and classes. Classes were 7pm to 10pm, I think. Maybe 11. It’s been awhile.

Then I treated weekends as full study days of 8 hours each. So, 26 hours of studying a week. Programs will vary, of course. That’s just to provide an idea.

I mention this because our valedictorian did the same thing AND was a single mother. Her own mom basically watched the kids the whole time. They all lived together.

While I don’t think you necessarily need full time day care, maybe mornings five days a week would be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Keep your kids in full-day childcare and use that time to study. Treat it like a job with defined hours, even if your class schedule changes. Sleep and eat appropriately, nobody wants a parent or spouse who is exhausted and short-tempered, as much as those traits are portrayed as badges of honor. Part-time childcare is really set up for moms who are not working, they are needed to accompany kids on field trips, bring them to and from school, bring in snacks, we even had to make play dough which was a lot of fun. I'm not sure I'd have enjoyed these activities with a looming work or school deadline. Spend your weekends with your family. It isn't fair for your spouse to solo parent during the butt end of the day when everybody is tired. It also isn't fair to expect him to solo parent on the weekends when the activities are mostly designed for two parent families. Yes, we are all capable of taking our children places independently... but most of us didn't get married to solo parent. Example, our toddler melted down at a carnival last weekend, and my husband and I both commented that we enjoyed sharing that experience together. He's our third, so we've been parents for awhile. I don't think either of us would have been as chill about it if one of us had "taken the kids out" by ourselves.
If childcare is a problem, then wait two years until your kids are in school all day. Lastly, you shouldn't feel nervous about school. You are at a point where you no longer have to go. It shouldn't be causing you anxiety, not at this point in your life.

[Anonymous]

My kid switched around that age from full time care to MWF. It was really hard to get the swing of the schedule- that school day/home day/school day etc pattern never felt comfortable to him. If there is any way you can do care M-W, it will seriously help a lot.

And don’t plan on getting much done when you have the younger one unless he is watching a screen. You might have incorporated that into the plan, but I am just echoing it.