Asking about autism

[Anonymous]

Do you think it’s okay to ask a friend if their child is autistic? Why or why not?

[Anonymous]

No, it's not okay.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Why do you need that information? Mere curiosity? Are you prepared to discuss every bit of private information about your child's behavior and medical information? No?

[Anonymous]

I’m the mom of two kids with ASD and I would never ask another parent that question.

But I am quite open about my kids, and I find that when I share about my own kids’ challenges other parents often share about their own kids.

[Anonymous]

If your friend wants to talk about that with you, they can. It's rude to ask. It’s like asking “what’s wrong with your kid?”

[Anonymous]

Why would you think its okay to ask, OP? You are not even a family member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need that information? Mere curiosity? Are you prepared to discuss every bit of private information about your child's behavior and medical information? No?

+100. Have you ever thought they might know if it is ASD or some other developmental disorder, and don't want to tell you, specifically? Maybe they think you will gossip or will judge them. Think about your own behavior and why this matters to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need that information? Mere curiosity? Are you prepared to discuss every bit of private information about your child's behavior and medical information? No?

This. How would you feel if someone started asking you personal questions about your child's medical history? Especially if those questions were driven by the belief that your child's behavior is somehow not normal?

[Anonymous]

Not your child, not your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you think its okay to ask, OP? You are not even a family member.

Op here. I posed this question because someone asked ME this about my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you think its okay to ask, OP? You are not even a family member.

Op here. I posed this question because someone asked ME this about my child.

Well then, you are right to be offended if you were. I would look at that friend differently, I think.

[Anonymous]

My kid has very high functioning HFA. My reaction would entirely depend on the reason for asking. If they were asking because they were trying to show they were supportive after seeing some of his difficulties, I might be ok with it. Or if they have their own SN kid and want to connect. But if they're just some kind of busybody, or if I just am feeling vulnerable that day ... not going to be interested in discussing it. Also, my ACTUAL friends are people I consider very close to me, so I told them about the diagnosis. So I don't think you're talking about true "friends."

BTW, if someone who has observed your child in multiple settings over time has asked if they have autism, maybe you should think about why they asked?