Annoying or not?

[Anonymous]

My SIL went out of her way to invite us to my nephew’s fifth birthday in N Carolina- not just including us on the evite, but texting and encouraging us. My 4 yo and her son adore each other, and my MIL and FIL live in N Carolina nearby as well. Normally we make the trip to see everyone over the holidays and would not just do a weekend. But given the special request, we woke up at 5 am and drove 6-7 hours today, thinking we’d make a go of it since family is important and the cousins adore each other. We typically stay with MIL and FIL, and they invited my nephew to come over for dinner and sleep over, which he does ALL the time. SIL said no, grandma puts him to bed too late and she wants him to be well rested for his birthday party tomorrow. SIL is dropping off nephew tomorrow morning for special cousin time (and bc she wants to get ready for the party). We might see them Sunday- I assumed we would bc we are out of town guests, but now I am not so sure. Basically we made a special and extremely inconvenient trip to get here at her invitation, and I feel the least should do is drop her kid off today with us! We didn’t drive all this way for a morning of cousin time and a birthday party where we know no one.

[Anonymous]

You need to lighten up! No one wants their 5 year old to be up late and be a basket case the day of the party. The cousins will have plenty of time together.

[Anonymous]

No. Sorry you didn’t get what you expected, but I would not let my kid have a sleepover night before his party either. Kid loses his mind without enough sleep. Next time clarify plans in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to lighten up! No one wants their 5 year old to be up late and be a basket case the day of the party. The cousins will have plenty of time together.

+1 And you will be with your IL’s all weekend so you'll Know someone. Stop whining.

[Anonymous]

I understand your frustration and it sounds like SIL doesn't appreciate the effort you made to get there, but it's likely not on purpose. She probably wants to foster the relationship and just doesn't get it, because everyone else is local.

How much time can kids that age play well together anyway? He's pretty young, it does make sense to keep him home and not do a sleepover. If they were 10 or 12 then I'd be annoyed.

If they do make time for you on Sunday, sounds like she's trying to accommodate you without really understanding the inconvenience. Your son at least gets to visit grandma and grandpa if not cousin.

[Anonymous]

You’re there for the party ffs

[Anonymous]

Well, now you know. Your expectations did not line up. Next time decline the birthday invite.

[Anonymous]

He's already going to be on a sugar high from cake and excitement. You also want him to be a crumbling mess because he's over-tired?

You assumed wrong.

[Anonymous]

OP - when you do something *that is* inconvenient for you, you are going to be a bit resentful. Details don't matter.

[Anonymous]

4 and 5 are too young for sleepovers. Both kids would be horrors after that.

[Anonymous]

Well, if we invited them to DC for my son’s birthday, they would stay with us. It would still be a sleepover. I don’t see the distinction. Plus SIL and BIL frequently leave their DS with the grandparents- 2-3 days per week. So it’s not some novel thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, if we invited them to DC for my son’s birthday, they would stay with us. It would still be a sleepover. I don’t see the distinction. Plus SIL and BIL frequently leave their DS with the grandparents- 2-3 days per week. So it’s not some novel thing.

It’s novel because his cousin is there. Plus they already know he goes to bed too late when he stays there. No one agrees with you, OP. You should have checked beforehand if the whole thing was hinging on a sleepover. They invited for a birthday party, you accepted for a birthday party. No one mentioned a sleepover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, if we invited them to DC for my son’s birthday, they would stay with us. It would still be a sleepover. I don’t see the distinction. Plus SIL and BIL frequently leave their DS with the grandparents- 2-3 days per week. So it’s not some novel thing.

If the cousin came to DC and stayed with you, your daughter would still be in her own home with her parents and their rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, if we invited them to DC for my son’s birthday, they would stay with us. It would still be a sleepover. I don’t see the distinction. Plus SIL and BIL frequently leave their DS with the grandparents- 2-3 days per week. So it’s not some novel thing.

It’s novel because his cousin is there. Plus they already know he goes to bed too late when he stays there. No one agrees with you, OP. You should have checked beforehand if the whole thing was hinging on a sleepover. They invited for a birthday party, you accepted for a birthday party. No one mentioned a sleepover.

Again, if they stayed with us, it would be novel because his cousin would be there, but I’m not going to tell them to stay in a hotel bc I want my child to be well rested for a birthday party. And it doesn’t even have to be a sleepover! They can’t bring him over for dinner or something?

I just hate going the extra mile for them and they don’t GAF. I would never have driven down here if I knew I would spend today at Target and getting my kid a haircut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, if we invited them to DC for my son’s birthday, they would stay with us. It would still be a sleepover. I don’t see the distinction. Plus SIL and BIL frequently leave their DS with the grandparents- 2-3 days per week. So it’s not some novel thing.

It’s novel because his cousin is there. Plus they already know he goes to bed too late when he stays there. No one agrees with you, OP. You should have checked beforehand if the whole thing was hinging on a sleepover. They invited for a birthday party, you accepted for a birthday party. No one mentioned a sleepover.

Again, if they stayed with us, it would be novel because his cousin would be there, but I’m not going to tell them to stay in a hotel bc I want my child to be well rested for a birthday party. And it doesn’t even have to be a sleepover! They can’t bring him over for dinner or something?

I just hate going the extra mile for them and they don’t GAF. I would never have driven down here if I knew I would spend today at Target and getting my kid a haircut.

How is attending a birthday party going the extra mile for them?